Relationships Talk

Matchmaking seems like a failed profession to have in this day and age; a job better suited for an algorithm or a dating app. Technology nowadays allows software to do all the heavy lifting. All you have to do is upload a picture and a short profile and you could be moments away from meeting your future spouse (or at the very least, a tragic story to tell all your friends). But there are still real life matchmakers out there, professionals employed by matchmaking firms who make a living just by giving solid dating advice.

Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker from Matchmakers In The City, says that people come to matchmakers when they’re exhausted with dating apps, which is completely understandable. Dating apps are stressful. She gave some brief advice in an interview with LifeHacker. Check out some of her best tips:

No passive swiping

According to Conti, people need to move and actively look for love. She completely disregards that old advice that says that love comes when you least expect it. Conti believes that nowadays, when everyone is so busy and tired, you have to put in the work in order to get to know people, going out on dates, and taking the whole process seriously.

Don’t get distracted by your day to day life

We tend to stick to our comfort zones and schedules. Conti says that in order to meet someone worthwhile, you have to follow through on dates, even if you don’t feel like going out and engaging in awkward conversations. You have to put yourself out there and be willing to try out new experiences, visiting different bars and coffee shops, and actively engaging on dating apps.

Be less picky

Having a lot of options online can create the impression that there’s a perfect person out there, or that there’s something missing from the guys and girls you see. “There’s so much more I wish people would open their hearts and minds to. That happens when you meet someone in real life because you get their vibe, but swiping is a different story,” says Conti.

There’s a fine line between settling for someone who you don’t like and being picky. Learn the difference and get to know what are the real deal breakers instead of going crazy over the little things.

Be a better date

Matchmaking services provide guidance on being a better date, modifying your posture, the way you speak, and your behavior in order to make you seem as welcoming as possible. Since that’s not included when you download Tinder and Bumble, Conti suggests having an open disposition and being as flirty as possible. “Go into your dates with an air of fun, lightness, and pretend as though you are on vacation mode.”