Relationships Talk

Important advice for women going to see Tully with a man they would like to marry: Don’t. It is a chick-flic for women, but warns men about the terrifying risks of marriage.

The critics tell us Tully is another click-flick about the horrors of heterosexual marriage and motherhood. Hollywood studios churn these out like theaters do popcorn. Watching these, I wonder why women pursue men for marriage. They must be gluttons for punishment. But critics love these films. Their reactions to it reveal much about both the film and America today.

But before describing the film (with no spoilers until the end), here are a few words about its leading lady.

Charlize Theron specializes in portrayal of modern women  (Hollywood versions). She won an Oscar for her scary performance as a butch prostitute serial killer in Monster. She was a warrior in Mad Max: Fury Road. She was a superspy in Atomic Blonde.

In Tully she gives a gritty portrayal of Marlo, an extreme version of the standard desperate suburban housewife. “She brings Marlo to life with stark, let-it-all-hang-out honesty.” She lives in a nice house. She has two young children, 8 and 5, who attend a private school. She is pregnant with a third.

Leftist film critics find this exciting, no matter how many times they see it. Their only complaint is that Hollywood has not gone full Social Realism and often misses some key ideological points. As seen in this review by Manohla Dargis in the NYT.

“Marlo is doing the contemporary supermom thing and, refreshingly, she isn’t doing it with 1950s clichéd desperate smiles. …“Tully” admits that this figure is a noxious delusion, one that isn’t suitable for real women. …Marlo cares for the kids while Drew works and plays. …Drew and Marlo’s division of labor would be fine if it were equitable.

…but “Tully” isn’t really interested in the sustaining joys of female bonding. It has a message to deliver, which is as sincere and decent as it is obvious: Mothers need help, sometimes serious help. …it isolates Marlo, and once again it is a woman who’s the problem that needs solving.”

Thousands of generations of women – and most of the women living today – work as hard or harder than Marlo, without being considered “supermoms.” Most of them would consider Tully’s life to be almost utopian. To the princesses of the NYT, for whom every ideological pea is intolerable, traditional American life is “a noxious delusion.”

Film critic Roger Moore gives a less blatantly ideological summary of the film.

“{Theron is good} at the meltdowns and righteous tirades Marlo has when confronted with a world that isn’t as accommodating and sympathetic of the plights of motherhood as it should be.”

When was the last time Roger Moore reviewed a film that was sympathetic of the plights of fatherhood? This leads us to another question about these films that critics seldom mention. What do men see in them?

Not what she looks like in “Tully.”

About the wife

Marlo is the central actor of the film, with whom we should sympathize. She is a foul mouthed nightmare of a wife. The house is a wreck. The meals are frozen food. She regrets not using her degree in English literature. The critics love her.

“When Marlo declines to hold her newborn baby, Mia, and when, later, she stands outside the car in which Mia is squalling and screams “F*ck!,” we suspect not exhaustion, or postnatal depression, so much as a basic reluctance to lead the life – and to nurture the new lives – that society expects.” (Anthony Lane).

Our brutal society expects mothers to take care of their children. It was a bit late to discover that after her third child. Perhaps better contraception (e.g., a contraceptive implant), or a tubal ligation would have helped. But her screamed obscenity is her first response to problems – and to offers of advice and assistance.

At the hospital, a nurse attempts to get Marlo to pee after childbirth. Her response is to scream “You want a f*cking golden shower?”

Her son, Jonah, behaves badly both at home and at school. The principal gently tells Marlo that Jonah’s behavior is “out of the box” and that he is a “quirky” boy. It is an opening to discuss how they can work together to improve Jonah’s behavior. Marlo replies with a screamed “Do I have a kid or a f*cking ukulele?” She helpfully adds that {this is the real me} “when I’m not licking your asshole.” Imagine living with her.

Her brother did live with her. Marlo describes him with her usual graciousness: “His factory setting is asshole.” He generously pays for her to have a nanny. Her reply is characteristic.

“I don’t want a stranger in my house. That’s like a Lifetime movie where the nanny tries to kill the family and the mom has to walk with a cane at the end.”

Marlo eventually accepts his offer of a free nanny, and the plot at last begins to move.

Tully with the children at home.

About the husband

The husband looks like a prince. He works hard to support his nightmarish and ungrateful wife. He gets nothing from his marriage. Rather than divorce, or flee to become a beachcomber (both more attractive options), he retreats at home into his own world. The critics see this differently.

“Theron plays Marlo, a struggling mother who is married to a lazy man named Drew (Ron Livingston). Drew takes business trips, sleeps a lot, and enjoys playing video games in bed of an evening. …How would a man like Drew change to help Marlo beyond a kind word and a two-shot image of solidarity?” (Damien Straker at ImpulseGamer.)

Danien is nuts to put business travel in the same category as “sleeping” and “playing games.” I have done a great deal of business travel, the grueling ten cities in three week odysseys. The critics march in lockstep obedience to the ruling “bad husband” trope.

“…lacklustre husband Drew (a mumbling Ron Livingston).” (Markie Robson-Scott.)

“…her useless husband …Some might smack Drew’s joystick out of his hands and the rest of his sorry self out of bed. Ms. Theron is such a naturally strong presence that it’s hard to believe Marlo would put up with his nonsense.” (Manohla Dargis.)

“a paragon of uselessness.” (Anthony Lane.)

Conclusions

Groups that want Zero Population Growth in the US, or even a shrinking US population, should sponsor free showings of this film – and the many similar TV shows and films – to teenagers and young men. Lure the boys in with popcorn, soda, and free hot pics of Charlize Theron. Offer free booze to the young men. Watch the marriage rate drop.

A few years of that program and the media will be flooded with articles about the Peter Pan generation that just won’t man up and marry.

Trivia note: the film is classified as comedy and drama. I found it quite dramatic, but not the least bit funny.

A slight spoiler about the ending

It has a happy ending. Like the happy endings to the Book of Job and the Gospel of Mark, it seems tacked on and inconsistent with the story.

Everybody imagines a different story to a film, and especially what happens in the years after the credits roll. I predict that in five years, once the kids are all in school, she will divorce Drew.

More anti-marriage films – from Christians

Dalrock has documented many examples of this fun but amazing genre. As an introduction, see his review of one of the most popular: How Fireproof lowers the boom on men.

He has written about divorce empowerment films: see his posts about Eat Pray Love (here), and about Wild (with Reese Witherspoon) here and here.

See his take on Tully.

For more information

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If you liked this post, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. See all posts about women and gender issues, about feminism, about marriage, and especially these…

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2. Modern movies show the hidden truth about romance & marriage: they’re dying.
3. Disturbing next steps in the gender revolution – films showing romance as women breaking men.
4. Classic films show what marriage was. Facts show its death.
5. Hollywood gives men role models for a wrecked America.
6. Recommendation: nine of the best American romantic films.

The Trailer for Tully