Relationships Talk

The old man … her old man … seeks your indulgence for offering the former while happily granting the latter.

Today you will become part of our family, though we accepted you long ago. You didn’t have to ask for her hand, and thereby our acceptance of you, but you did.

There are a lot of things you won’t have to do as a husband, but you do them already.

These are things a real man does … things a real husband does.

A reminder of this is found in 1st Corinthians, Chapter 13. I’ve heard it echoed again and again, often as part of a wedding ceremony.

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal … .”

Say “I love you” every day. If the words don’t come, the actions will speak louder than a resounding gong.

“Love is patient.” That doesn’t mean waiting her out or holding your tongue until you gain advantage. It means trusting that God had a reason for all things. Being patient doesn’t always mean you will understand her or that she will comprehend your reasoning. It simply means patience will yield new knowledge for your both as you allow God to work in your lives.

“Love is kind.” In a time when kindness is hard to find in our world, it is essential to marriage. Kindness is one of your many great qualities. It means being kind when the overwhelming temptation is to lash out. She now takes preference over everyone and everything in your life. You take preference for her. When both your glasses are half empty, you fill up hers and she fills up yours.

“Love is not rude.” I’ve never seen rudeness in you, and I’m sure Tamara would not expect it. Don’t listen to popular culture, where rudeness is portrayed as an acceptable counterpoint.

“It does not rejoice over wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The world is hard on married people, suggesting in so many ways that the truths that preserved Christians for centuries are no longer relevant. Proclaim God’s love to one another and you will strengthen your marriage to an extent you might not think possible.

“When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.” You love our daughter, and she loves you. But that’s far beyond the words of a popular love song, a movie plot or the infatuation that makes your heart flutter. As a man and woman, love is more than the culmination of a growing passion. It’s about a daily recommittment by both of you to love one another simply because.

As I look down the pew on Sunday morning, I am assured that the two of you continue to gain understanding about the nature of love.

My advice to you, unsolicited but offered anyway, comes from an imperfect man whose many failings should make him unlovable. And yet, one woman has loved him for more than 50 years. Two imperfect people, strengthened by the unconditional love of God.

Loving one another, simply because. God bless you both on this your wedding day.

Mr. Clinton retired as executive editor of The Messenger in 2011. He and his wife, Barbara, live in Lone Oak.