Relationships Talk

Bakersfield, Calif. – Match.com declared October 2, “Define the Relationship Day.” So we spent time talking to people in Bakersfield about how important titles are while dating. 

When is the right time to have the “what are we” conversation? And just how important are labels in relationships? It turns out – both guys and girls feel strongly about this subject. 

Jordan Anderson is a sophomore at Bakersfield College. He says, “The biggest part of it is, labeling something means there’s more commitment in it.”

Anderson’s sentiment was that of basically everyone we spoke to: Titles are a big deal. Whether you are the one pining for a more ‘serious’ relationship, or trying to keep it casual – students at BC agree, defining your relationship with someone is both important and serious.

It’s not impossible to agree on a casual relationship, but the women we spoke to said they prefer exclusivity and a title pretty early on. 

And while the men also agree that titles are important, most of them say, they prefer more time in the casual dating realm before committing to any titles. 

Dating Expert Rachel DeAlto, of Match.com, has advice on how to navigate defining the relationship:

You know it is time to “DTR” when…

• You spend more nights together than you do apart
• You’ve met their parents

How to “DTR:”

• DON’T approach DTR like it’s a big deal!
• Avoid all lines akin to “we need to talk.”  
• Use DTR day as an excuse! Try this script: “Hey babe – so it’s Define The Relationship Day. I’m thinking I’d like to define you as my boyfriend.”

NEVER, *EVER* TRY TO “DTR” IF:

• They only call you once a week and reply to your texts three days later
• They dedicate only one or two nights a month to spending time with you
• You’ve never met one of their friends or family members
• They’ve never talked about the future with you