Relationships Talk

Ask the Astro Poets is the monthly advice column by W‘s resident astrologers, Alex Dimitrov (Sagittarius) and Dorothea Lasky (Aries). At the halfway point of every month, they take a breather from writing poetry and horoscopes, and take your questions about love, career, even the big existential questions in life. From matchmaking and compatibility, to friendship, professional, and dating advice, the poets of the stars are here to guide you through any challenge:

Dear Astro Poets,

I’m a poet and a Cancer (Leo moon, Virgo rising). The guy I am nearly in love with is a Capricorn (Aquarius moon, Aries rising). There’s one problem. He’s been on a submarine for three months. We dated for a week before he left, and we went hard. We spent the weekend at my beach house all alone together and it was everything I want in a relationship (exciting, surprising, weird, quiet, playful, tender, hot, communicative). And then, the next day, he left for three months.

I’ve been writing him emails every few days. And yes, the emails have been off the chain (I’m a poet!). Everything he writes me reaffirms what I felt before he left. The problem is, submarine communication is extremely spotty. I haven’t heard from him in a month and he’s coming back soon. I’m not allowed to know when exactly (government secrets) and I’m losing my mind. Help me, please! Do I take him at his word, and assume the issue is circumstantial? Or do I move on?

A Party Crab 

Dear Party Crab,

It’s always so amazing to hear from a Cancer in the midst of being intensely in love. They say that a Cancer is like a flower in full bloom when they fall for someone, emitting magical perfumes and lighting up everything around them. I love feeling your love energy from your note and thinking about all these strong feelings you are having right now. It’s so beautiful and life-affirming! And it’s no surprise to me that a Cancer/Capricorn pairing would fall madly in love in about one second of meeting each other. Both signs are romantic and ready to commit. Although Capricorn is known for being aloof and emotionally distant at times, they are very committed when they meet someone they feel excited about, and it sounds like that’s you!

Aside from everything you have in common and your somewhat compatible rising signs (although you might have some power struggles down the line with those diametrically opposed moons), Cancer/Capricorns are drawn together in a life-long way. I’ve known lots of Cancer/Capricorn love relationships that last a lifetime; I myself am a product of one. My Cancer grandpa and Capricorn grandma met at the 1904 World’s Fair, after being randomly put in the same car on a carousel ride, and were married all of their lives, through death and beyond.

Practically speaking, I would wait for him. First of all, it’s not that long to wait at all. I mean, what are a few weeks compared to the span of an eternity? You’re a Cancer, and you’re intuitive enough to pick up on the fact that he might be getting scared to come back and face the intensity of your love after what has undoubtedly been a hard trip. But unless you have some other true loves waiting around (which, since you’re a Cancer, you might), then why not see how this turns out? Capricorns can often suffer from the lying disease and lie their asses off when it suits them, but you might take him at his word now and trust his messages that give you affirmation. After all, what’s probably happening during these final weeks of the mission is that he has a job to do, and there is very little a Capricorn takes more seriously than an obligation that they’ve committed to. I bet he’s just really busy with all this top-secret stuff. Long-distance relationships are always difficult when it comes to communication, whether it’s an LA/NYC or an aboveground/stuck-in-a-submarine thing.

Then again, if he comes back and doesn’t want to see you for several days, I’ll change my answer. But if that’s the case, then, as they say, his loss! Who wouldn’t want a gorgeous Cancer ready to love them deeply? Cancers never have a problem finding a new passionate affair and I promise you won’t have a hard time finding plenty of people with Cancer obsessions. (Raising my hand here!) I’m praying that this Capricorn knows what’s good for him, and wishing lots of luck and love to you.

Your Aries,

Dorothea

Dear Astro Poets,

It’s the beginning of Libra season, so I’m going to ask a crazy Libra question! First, I want to say that I love being a Libra—even though it’s exhausting overthinking every tiny detail, and then panicking with indecision about big life choices. I’ve always thought an earth sign like a Virgo or a Capricorn would balance me out. But lately, I’ve been wondering: Are Libras able to be satisfied by just one romantic partner? I’m constantly looking for that one person, and identify as a full-on romantic, but if I’m being honest, no matter how great they were in the beginning, everyone has bored me eventually. What can satisfy a Libra in love?

An Unsatisfied Libra

Dear Unsatisfied Libra,

This isn’t a crazy question at all, but I’m going to make a crazy statement and say that Libras are perhaps the most entertaining people to go on dates with. You’re not exactly contrarians, because being graceful and agreeable is part of your allure, but you also have very strong feelings about many things most people don’t—like Greek mythology and Marc Jacobs ready-to-wear from the ’90s. It isn’t shocking to me that Libras would fall for someone with great intensity, only to then find themselves bored.

Libras value eccentricity and people who have style in every aspect of life. And by style, I don’t just mean fashion—I mean the way that people communicate, where they eat, what they read, the objects they surround themselves with. Libras care about these things so deeply, and they need their partners to as well. It’s not even that you need your partner to have a similar style to yours; you just want theirs to be distinct and thought-out. You want it to be there. It’s unfortunate, but not everyone approaches life this meticulously, or even with care.

I hear what you’re saying about being balanced by an earth sign, but the earth sign I would recommend for Libra is Taurus, because they also value style in every aspect of life—but then again they might be too stubborn and rigid for Libras. You need someone spontaneous, someone who will keep you on your toes, someone who will disagree with you while not taking themselves too seriously—that’s a Gemini or a Sagittarius.

Your big question—can a Libra be satisfied by one partner?—is one I hear constantly from my Libra friends. Maybe this is a question all of us should be asking ourselves regardless of sign, because I’m pretty sure the answer for many of us is “no,” although we’re really good at pretending otherwise. Libras are great actors, but they aren’t good at pretending. They’re always seeking out the truth. We’re also living in a culture that sells us monogamy as happiness without openly talking about other alternatives. As a Sagittarius, I relate to the Libra need for surprise and adventure, and constant desire to try new things. It’s all a matter of style, isn’t it? I say try everything and everyone for as long as you can.

A Sagittarius with style,

Alex

Related: Ask the Astro Poets: Are Aries Capable of Having Casual Hook Ups?