Relationships Talk

Michelle Obama isn’t afraid to speak candidly about her marriage to Barack Obama, as evidenced by her new book Becoming, which documents the political couple’s triumphs, struggles, and everything in between. Despite those ups and down, the former first lady is the first to admit that her journey has been that much more meaningful because of her choice in husband. Now, she’s sharing her best relationship advice—advice she followed when she first met the former president nearly 30 years ago.

Her biggest tip? Find someone who has already done all of their growing up, Michelle explained in a cover interview with Essence. “I think a lot of people don’t have a clear idea of what they should look for in a mate—and for a long time, I didn’t either,” she admitted. “What drew me to Barack was that when I met him, he was already a fully formed individual. From our very first conversations, he showed me that he wasn’t afraid to express his fears and doubts, or that he might not have all the answers.”

Related: Michelle Obama’s Secret to a Strong Marriage Is Super Relatable

It’s just as important to find someone that appreciates your work and personal goals, she continued—a trait the Becoming author noticed in her future-husband almost immediately. “He could handle someone with her own passions and goals, someone who had ideas of her own,” she says. “He relished it, in fact. I liked that.”

Michelle also observed how Barack treated the women in his life, since she knew that would carry over into their romantic relationship. “I saw who he was not only in the way he treated me but in the way he interacted with others outside of our relationship. He showed me that he respected women by the way he treated his mother, his sisters, and his grandmother,” she said, adding that her husband’s values never changed. “These were all things I learned long before we were married. It was all on display when we dated: He was consistent, he was honest, he was respectful, and he was secure in himself and secure in us. He hasn’t been perfect, but those things have never wavered.”

RUSH: Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana was on CNN’s Erin Burnett OutFront last night, and the question he got was, “What do you make of the first lady Melania Trump demanding that somebody be fired over there in the West Wing? Should the first lady have made such a statement, weighing in on a West Wing personnel issue via the media? I mean, this guy kind of felt blindsided by it. The president may have felt blindsided when his wife spoke up. What do you think about this, Senator Kennedy?”

KENNEDY: The president shouldn’t feel like he’s bossed around. If he does feel that way, you know, don’t worry about it, Mr. President. I feel bossed around sometimes. I love my wife to death, but in my marriage I can be right or I can be happy. I can’t be both. It doesn’t bother me. I’m happy to have my spouse weigh in when she sees me doing something wrong, and I suspect the president feels the same way about Mrs. Trump. But all she did here, in my opinion, she just did publicly what other first ladies have done privately.

RUSH: No big deal here, nothing to see. You know, when Nancy Reagan stood up for Ronald, when Nancy Reagan was demanding that all kinds of people be fired, she thought there were people undermining him. And people just tore into Nancy Reagan. She had no business, she’s overstepping her bounds.

To which I asked, “Wait a minute. I thought we’re supposed to have a culture featuring strong women who are not gonna be silenced because of conventional wisdom saying that they can’t talk about things that only men can talk about. What is this?”

Furthermore, what is wrong with a woman defending her husband? What in the hell is so threatening about that? I mean, the left engages in so much hypocrisy, they never get called on it and they very seldom are penalized for it. They’re all over the place. But this line from Senator Kennedy, “Look, I love my wife to death, but in my marriage I can be right or I can be happy. I can’t be both.”

I once interviewed Charlton “Chuck” Heston, Chuck to his friends, shortly after he had celebrated the 50th anniversary of his marriage to his wife, Lydia. And I said, “What’s the secret?” He said, “Four words: Honey, I was wrong.” So among men of a certain age there’s almost a stereotypical cliche that in your own home you’re never right if you want to be happy. (laughing)

“Look, I decided in my marriage it’s gonna be very simple. I’m either gonna be right or I’m gonna happy, so I’ve decided I’m gonna happy, which means I’m never right in my own house.” I wonder if his wife gave him any grief when he got home. Probably not. Great example of stereotypical humor that just skirts right over people’s heads.

Matthew Trent, the Dallas-based luxury jewelry designer, joined forces with bridal couture designer Nardos Imam to host The Art of Wedding & Design on Nov. 7 at Nardos Design in Preston Center. Guests gathered for the exclusive panel discussion covering all things wedding and design, alongside renowned event designer and floral guru Todd Fiscus of Todd Events.

The panel brought together three of Dallas’ most respected wedding and design experts for the first time as they discussed everything from wedding bands and veil lengths to guest list tips and marriage advice. Trent, Imam, and Fiscus shared their collective knowledge and experiences with the audience, as well as their predictions for the industry at large. Highly respected in the luxury bridal market, each are known as true authorities within their individual arenas, receiving countless accolades and awards for their talents.

Moderator Kiley Trent, who is the managing director of her family’s 30-year-brand, Matthew Trent, led the discussion. Highlights from the panel included the following takeaways: if you wouldn’t have them to dinner, don’t invite them to your wedding (Fiscus); the next hottest stone shape for engagement rings is oval (Trent), expect to see many more bridesmaids in jumpsuits (Imam).

Guests enjoyed Prosecco and small bites from Proper Catering, as well as geode cookies from Good Vibes Cookie Co. as they mingled through the salon and tried on one-of-a-kind Matthew Trent jewelry pieces. Models also showcased custom Nardos couture gowns throughout the evening, accessorized with jewelry by Matthew Trent and featuring makeup by fellow Preston Center neighbor Cosbar.

Attendees included Cindy Syler, Mariah Taylor, Lauren and Heather Murphy, Violet and Ashley Deatherage, Suzanne Droese, Dee and Rachel Ledbetter, Lori Trent, Liz Wilhite, Rexanna Sandlin, Meredith Hammer, Crystal Frasier, and Brittanie Oleniczak.

Meredith Hammer, Mack Kelly, Donna Kelly, Nardos Imam

Matthew Trent, Kiley Trent, Nardos Imam, Todd Fiscus

Matthew Trent, Violet Deatherage, Ashley Deatherage

Lauren Murphy Shepherd, Nardos Imam, Todd Fiscus, Heather Murphy

Liz Wilhite, Nardos Imam

Liz Wilhite, Rexanna Sandlin, Nardos Imam, Todd Fiscus

Mac Kelly, Kiley Trent, Matthew Trent, Lori Trent, Hudson Trent

Kiley Trent, Heather Murphy, Lori Trent, Lauren Murphy Shepherd

Heather Murphy, Ashley Deatherage admire florals by Todd Events

Crystal Frasier, Grecia Garza, Janna Hinebaugh

Dee Ledbetter and Rachel Ledbetter

Ashley Deatherage, Violet Deatherage, Matthew Trent Jewelry

Social media has influenced the way we portray our lives nowadays, and Kelly Clarkson just admitted that her marraige isn’t as picturesque as it may appear on Instagram. During her Facebook live on Nov. 13, the American Idol winner proved that she does more than just sing about relationships — she also gives advice about them.

Despite having a trusting and loving one herself, Kelly admitted that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. “If I sat here and told you that everything was perfect, that’d be a damn lie in anybody’s relationship,” the “Since U Been Gone” singer insisted. “But you have to work at it.”

When a fan asked how she manages to not keep a score in her marriage with hubby Brandon Blackstock, Kelly had a quick answer. “I don’t think it’s a score. I think it’s keeping a tally of how many discussions you’ve had,” the 36-year-old said. “I think it’s that. Honestly, it goes both ways. Like my husband feels like he constantly needs to talk about the same thing; I feel like the same thing with him. There’s always things you’re working on.”

Kelly believes that she and Brandon, 41, are able to work past their issues because of their level of maturity. In fact, the mom-of-two thanks timing for her successful marriage. “You’re already an evolved human,” Kelly said of the couple that began dating when she was 30 years old. “You already got, kind of a good grasp of who you are [in your thirties].”

She also says that meeting Brandon at the time that she did allowed her to enjoy her twenties to the fullest — something she stressed the importance of very much during her live stream Q&A. When a fan asked if 22 is too young to get married, Kelly did not hesitate to share her feelings towards the question. “Yes! Your twenties are such an instrumental part of building your character,” she explained.

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The “Piece by Piece” singer then shared some dating advice that was given to her. “Somebody said this to me a long time ago — family, friends, finance, and faith… If you do not have at least two of those in common, walk away ’cause it ain’t gonna work,” she warned. “Maybe if you’re 22 and have at least two of those, then OK.”

It looks like Kelly just shared her secret for a long-lasting marriage. Hey, if it’s working well for Kelly, there’s no trouble in following in her footsteps!