Category Archives: marriage advice
Princess Diana Shared Marriage Advice By Doing This Sweet Gesture To Fan
Princess Diana did a sweet gesture to a woman named Erika, who was struggling with her marriage in the 90s.
Two years before her death, the Princess of Wales received a distressing letter from Erika, and she quickly empathized with her. The mom of two wrote a handwritten note to the fan and shared some advice with her.
“Dearest Erika, I have received your latter and of course read it with concern and a wish to support you in any way I can. There is a great deal of pain inside you, hence the block as you call it – that is a natural response for someone who has been through the traumas you’ve experienced. Reading between the lines of your letter, I feel a very special lady is struggling with a low self-esteem because of all the bruises you had to deal with, mentally and physically. I do know that it takes great courage to write as you did and with that honesty and clarity the light will appear in your tunnel. I am thinking of you so much, hang on in there Erika,” Princess Diana wrote (via Express).
The Princess of Wales’ letter was received by Erika just days before she sat down for an interview with Panorama in 1995. In her discussion with Martin Bashir, Prince William and Prince Harry’s mom declared that there was three of them in her marriage to Prince Charles. The statement was in reference to Prince Charles’ then-girlfriend, Camilla Parker Bowles.
A British royal collector acquired Erika’s letter and has consigned it for sale at Julien’s Auctions. The handwritten note is expected to rake in over $5,000.
Martin Nolan of Julien’s Auctions said that not much is known about the recipient of the letter.
“Our understanding is that Erika was a member of the public who was experiencing a troubled time and she wrote to Diana for advice and support as she herself had experienced a difficult time with the break up of her marriage. Diana is very gracious and compassionate, and she offers great encouragement to Erika that there will be light at the end of the tunnel,” he said.
Princess Diana supported a fan throughout the fall out of her marriage while struggling with her own problems with Prince Charles. Pictured: Princess Diana is seen during the official Madame Tussauds’ wax effigy of HRH Prince William is unveiled at London’s Marylebone Road tourist attraction on August 3, 2005 in London, England. Photo: Getty Images/MJ Kim
Carolyn Hax: Marriage counseling stalls when she realizes she just doesn't like her husband
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Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for “Cruel & unusual rituals in criminal organizations”
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for “Cruel & unusual rituals in criminal organizations”
Photo: Malerapaso, Getty Images
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for “Cruel & unusual rituals in criminal organizations”
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for “Cruel & unusual rituals in criminal organizations”
Photo: Malerapaso, Getty Images
Adapted from a recent online discussion.
Hi, Carolyn:
At what point do you know it’s time to end a marriage? I found out almost a year ago that my spouse had cheated. We have a young child, and I initially stayed because of our kid. We’re in counseling and both doing everything the counselor says, and spouse is doing everything I ask, sometimes without me asking, and trying to meet my needs. We’re both working on ourselves, too.
But my heart is not in it. I think my heart was in it at the beginning, but now that the shock has worn off, I’m just feeling blah about the whole thing. Is this part of the process? Our counselor says it is, and we can try to get through it, but I wake up every day wishing I was waking up alone.
I’m not even angry; I just don’t like the person I’m waking up next to. I feel like I’m wasting my time. I talk to the counselor about all of this, and she tried to be upbeat about getting past it, but it hasn’t been getting better.
— Should I Stay or Should I Go?
At this point I would be asking the therapist what the basis is for her optimism — besides her apparent preference that you stay married? (Problematic if true.)
If your current unhappiness is indeed just one stage in a longer process, then what are the other stages she has seen? And what is the general emotional pathway from anger to “I just don’t like the person” to feeling love?
I won’t say “feeling love again,” because there’s no going back, there’s only forward, which will be new regardless of what it is.
If you don’t hear anything from your therapist in response to these questions that you find promising, and if this period of blah dislike is lasting for months without relief, then it’s time for a new therapist and/or a trial separation. Especially with a child, it’s important to move as gradually as you can, and separation is a key step between uninterrupted-months-of-stalled-therapy-and-unhappy-wakeups and ending a marriage.
Just talk to a lawyer before you do anything. Small missteps can have huge consequences.
Re: Stay or Go:
You might also want to try a different therapist. From the way you describe it, it sounds like she is negating how you feel, by repackaging your feelings as “part of the process.”
— Anonymous
Fair point, thanks. Even without that, stuck is stuck and reason enough to consider a change.
Dear Carolyn:
I am a high school teacher. My department chair, “Ken,” occasionally makes laminated signs for everyone in our department to hang on our walls. He uses some special cardstock with historical figures and scenes.
Ken likes to use Comic Sans font and, more often than not, his signs include a typo or grammatical error. If these signs were not made with the special cardstock, I wouldn’t hesitate to reprint my own. Fear is holding me back from rooting through his office when he’s not there to find the cardstock. What should I do?
— A Sign
NO NOT COMIC SANS!!!
Tell him you found a typo and ask if he’d like you to reprint it for him. Everyone needs an editor.
Jordan Spieth evicts roommates, plans honeymoon in preparation for wedding
Jordan Spieth has been busy as he preps for his fast approaching wedding with longtime girlfriend Annie Verret. On his to-do list: Plan the bachelor party, evict his roommates from his sprawling Dallas home and help organize the honeymoon.
Check, check and almost check for three-time major winner who will tie the knot later this month.
Speaking Monday at a fundraiser for the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Dallas, Spieth said his wife-to-be, who he has dated since high school, has handled most of the heavy lifting for their nuptials, but that he has managed some duties of his own.
Job 1: Evict his roommates, in the kindest way possible, from his Dallas manse that once belonged to Hunter Mahan. Among his housemates over the years: mini-tour player Alex Moon and PGA Tour rookie Kramer Hickok, both of whom played college golf with Spieth at the University of Texas. Spieth has also provided accommodations to his caddie, Michael Greller, and good friend Justin Thomas when the Tour has been in town.
“They are all out of the house,” Spieth said. “I’m finally living alone for the first time in six years, at least for another couple of weeks,”
“Enjoy it while you can,” cracked Tony Romo, the former Dallas Cowboys quarterback, who was Spieth’s co-host at the luncheon.
Jordan Spieth and Annie Verret celebrate Team USA’s Ryder Cup victory in 2016.
Spieth will play his final PGA Tour event as a bachelor this week at the Mayakoba Golf Classic in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. When he returns to the competitive orb, likely for some charity tournaments in December, he’ll have a ring on his finger.
Spieth said he planned and executed a late-summer bachelor party in the Dallas area and was also responsible for arranging the couple’s honeymoon (he declined to say where they were headed). “It was really very stress-free planning the wedding because Anne did most of that,” Spieth said. “I wanted to help out, and I was able to get most of my duties done after the FedEx tournaments.”
Spieth hasn’t won on Tour since the 2017 British Open and has dropped to 14th in the World Rankings, one spot behind Tiger Woods, but you can’t the blame the guy if he’s been a little distracted. As his big day approaches, he’s been leaning on some his Tour mates for marriage advice.
“What I got from Rory [McIlroy] and others is feel free to do things your own way, what feels best to you,” Spieth said. “Don’t copy the way somebody raises their kids or travels with their wife on Tour. Do what you want to do, not what others do. That seems simple, but not everybody does it.”
Princess Diana Reportedly Penned a Letter in 1995 Advising a Woman Having Marriage Problems
The People’s Princess truly lived up to her moniker. A newly released letter, which dates back to November 29, 1995, shows that Princess Diana once offered her condolences to a woman (whom she had never met) who was dealing with marriage problems.
According to The Sun, Diana’s written correspondence—which will be up for auction later this month—had been addressed to a woman named Erika. The subject of the letter previously wrote to the beloved princess, detailing her troubled marriage. Using Kensington Palace stationery, the late royal then responded to the note, expressing her concern and sympathy.
“Dearest Erika,” the letter begins, per The Sun. “I have received your letter and of course read it with concern and wish to support you in any way I can. There is a great deal of pain inside you, hence the block as you call it—that is a natural response for someone who has been through the traumas you’ve experienced.”
Diana, whose own marriage to Prince Charles had very publicly dissipated by the time of her reply, went on to write, “Reading between the lines of your letter I feel a very special lady is struggling with a low self-esteem because of all the bruises you had to deal with, mentally and physically.”
Seeming to speak from the heart, she added, “I do know that it takes great courage to write as you did and with that honesty and clarity the light will appear in your tunnel.”
The message closed with one final sentiment: “I am thinking of you so much, hang on in there, Erika. Lots of love from Diana x.”
Express notes that a British Royal collector recently obtained Diana’s handwritten note, which is expected to sell for £4,000 (about $5,200) via Julien’s Auctions. The head of the auction house, Martin Nolan, offered further insight into Diana’s confidante.
“Our understanding is that Erika was a member of the public who was experiencing a troubled time and she wrote to Diana for advice and support as she herself had experienced a difficult time with the break up of her marriage,” Nolan explained to Express. He added that, “It seems as if [Diana] is speaking from her own personal experience when she writes this.”
The letter had actually been written a few days after Princess Diana’s famed BBC Panorama interview, during which she opened up about her own marriage with Prince Charles. According to Express, she referenced her former husband’s affair with his now-wife, Camilla Parker Bowles, in the interview.
See more: Why Princess Diana’s Engagement Ring Caused Controversy Within the Royal Family
Diana’s written communication came three years after she and Charles unofficially split. The pair didn’t officially divorce until 1996, a year before the princess’ untimely death.
