Relationships Talk

Dear Abby: My 38-year-old daughter is being married this summer. She has never planned a big event like this before, and every suggestion I make gets us into a fight. I know it’s upsetting her terribly, and it’s upsetting me as well.

We have always been close. I understand it’s her wedding, but I would like some input since my husband and I are paying for it. Also, every time I suggest inviting someone, her reaction is, “I don’t know. They’re your friends, not mine.” Well, I would like my friends to share this moment in my daughter’s life. What’s the solution here?

Fighting in Pennsylvania

Dear Fighting: You may be a “traditional” mother, but customs have changed since you were a bride. Among them is the fact that women your daughter’s age usually pay for their own weddings, which entitles them to run their own show. I think the solution to your problem may involve suggesting that to your daughter. If you are footing the bill, you should absolutely have some say about the production, and your daughter should be mature enough to accept it or finance it herself.

Dear Abby: My son is 24 and in the military. He has always been sarcastic, and his humor always involves cutting the other person down. I think it can be part of the culture in the military, which has made it worse. I thought as he matured he would mellow. It becomes exhausting after a while.

I’m afraid he’ll never be able to find and keep a girlfriend if he keeps acting this way. When girls start dating, most of them are taught to watch how a guy treats his mother and sisters because that’s how he’ll treat her eventually. If a girlfriend of his heard how he speaks to me and his sisters, they would run. Nice girls want nice guys, who speak kindly. How do I talk to him about this, or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Exhausted in the East

Dear Exhausted: Not only should you not stay silent, recognize that you should have insisted your son treat you and his sisters with respect and consideration by the age of 10. While that message may be harder to impress upon him at this late date, have that discussion with him now, and point out what an unattractive personality trait he’s displaying. If you want to couch it in terms of how it will affect his love life, by all means do. No woman with self-esteem would tolerate what he’s doing for long, because it’s verbal abuse.

Dear Abby: My daughter’s ex-husband allowed his 5-year-old son to sleep with his girlfriend’s 6-year-old daughter during a weekend visit. What do you think of this?

Concerned Grandmother

Dear Concerned: Not knowing either child, I hesitate to venture an opinion. Their parents are in a better position to decide something like this, so raise the subject with them if you haven’t already.

Dear Abby: My 38-year-old daughter is being married this summer. She has never planned a big event like this before, and every suggestion I make gets us into a fight. I know it’s upsetting her terribly, and it’s upsetting me as well.

We have always been close. I understand it’s her wedding, but I would like some input since my husband and I are paying for it. Also, every time I suggest inviting someone, her reaction is, “I don’t know. They’re your friends, not mine.” Well, I would like my friends to share this moment in my daughter’s life. What’s the solution here?

Fighting in Pennsylvania

Dear Fighting: You may be a “traditional” mother, but customs have changed since you were a bride. Among them is the fact that women your daughter’s age usually pay for their own weddings, which entitles them to run their own show. I think the solution to your problem may involve suggesting that to your daughter. If you are footing the bill, you should absolutely have some say about the production, and your daughter should be mature enough to accept it or finance it herself.

Dear Abby: My son is 24 and in the military. He has always been sarcastic, and his humor always involves cutting the other person down. I think it can be part of the culture in the military, which has made it worse. I thought as he matured he would mellow. It becomes exhausting after a while.

I’m afraid he’ll never be able to find and keep a girlfriend if he keeps acting this way. When girls start dating, most of them are taught to watch how a guy treats his mother and sisters because that’s how he’ll treat her eventually. If a girlfriend of his heard how he speaks to me and his sisters, they would run. Nice girls want nice guys, who speak kindly. How do I talk to him about this, or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Exhausted in the East

Dear Exhausted: Not only should you not stay silent, recognize that you should have insisted your son treat you and his sisters with respect and consideration by the age of 10. While that message may be harder to impress upon him at this late date, have that discussion with him now, and point out what an unattractive personality trait he’s displaying. If you want to couch it in terms of how it will affect his love life, by all means do. No woman with self-esteem would tolerate what he’s doing for long, because it’s verbal abuse.

Dear Abby: My daughter’s ex-husband allowed his 5-year-old son to sleep with his girlfriend’s 6-year-old daughter during a weekend visit. What do you think of this?

Concerned Grandmother

Dear Concerned: Not knowing either child, I hesitate to venture an opinion. Their parents are in a better position to decide something like this, so raise the subject with them if you haven’t already.

Dear Abby: My 38-year-old daughter is being married this summer. She has never planned a big event like this before, and every suggestion I make gets us into a fight. I know it’s upsetting her terribly, and it’s upsetting me as well.

We have always been close. I understand it’s her wedding, but I would like some input since my husband and I are paying for it. Also, every time I suggest inviting someone, her reaction is, “I don’t know. They’re your friends, not mine.” Well, I would like my friends to share this moment in my daughter’s life. What’s the solution here?

Fighting in Pennsylvania

Dear Fighting: You may be a “traditional” mother, but customs have changed since you were a bride. Among them is the fact that women your daughter’s age usually pay for their own weddings, which entitles them to run their own show. I think the solution to your problem may involve suggesting that to your daughter. If you are footing the bill, you should absolutely have some say about the production, and your daughter should be mature enough to accept it or finance it herself.

Dear Abby: My son is 24 and in the military. He has always been sarcastic, and his humor always involves cutting the other person down. I think it can be part of the culture in the military, which has made it worse. I thought as he matured he would mellow. It becomes exhausting after a while.

I’m afraid he’ll never be able to find and keep a girlfriend if he keeps acting this way. When girls start dating, most of them are taught to watch how a guy treats his mother and sisters because that’s how he’ll treat her eventually. If a girlfriend of his heard how he speaks to me and his sisters, they would run. Nice girls want nice guys, who speak kindly. How do I talk to him about this, or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Exhausted in the East

Dear Exhausted: Not only should you not stay silent, recognize that you should have insisted your son treat you and his sisters with respect and consideration by the age of 10. While that message may be harder to impress upon him at this late date, have that discussion with him now, and point out what an unattractive personality trait he’s displaying. If you want to couch it in terms of how it will affect his love life, by all means do. No woman with self-esteem would tolerate what he’s doing for long, because it’s verbal abuse.

Dear Abby: My daughter’s ex-husband allowed his 5-year-old son to sleep with his girlfriend’s 6-year-old daughter during a weekend visit. What do you think of this?

Concerned Grandmother

Dear Concerned: Not knowing either child, I hesitate to venture an opinion. Their parents are in a better position to decide something like this, so raise the subject with them if you haven’t already.

Arie Luyendyk Jr. was spotted with his new wife Lauren on their honeymoon. They are seen here in Portland earlier in 2018. Pic credit: @ariejr/Instagram

Arie Luyendyk Jr. and Lauren Burnham got married on January 12, 2019, in an amazing Hawaii wedding that is now being shared on social media. Now, about 10 days after the wedding, the couple has been spotted on a Maui beach, soaking up the sun.

The couple was spotted walking together, enjoying both the sun and some refreshing drinks. Lauren’s small baby bump was somewhat visible, as she wore a long white dress, covering up what appears to be an orange or pink bathing suit.

It’s possible that the couple is staying in Hawaii for their honeymoon given the long flight and Lauren’s pregnancy.

While Arie has become one of the most hated Bachelor contestants for dumping Becca Kufrin after proposing to her, telling her that he couldn’t stop thinking about Lauren, he seems to have moved on without a care in the world

Not only did he explain himself to GQ in May of last year, but he also got married a year after his season of the Bachelor started airing. It was in the fall that he and Lauren announced they were expecting their first child together.

And even though he’s on his honeymoon, Arie couldn’t help but go on Instagram and give some advice to fellow Bachelorette contestant, Kevin Wendt.

Kevin found love with Astrid Loch on the 2018 season of Bachelor In Paradise and it seems that they have moved into a new place together, as they spent the weekend installing new floors.

On Kevin’s Instagram post of the process, Arie responded that Kevin should enjoy this, as this is the stuff that’s important in a relationship.

“That’s the stuff that matters most… enjoy it brotha,” Arie wrote on the post.

Even though Arie is enjoying his new life as a married man with a pregnant wife, he still has time to give some advice to other Bachelor contestants. How sweet.

The Bachelor airs on Mondays at 8/7c on ABC, where viewers can follow Colton Underwood’s journey to find love.