Relationships Talk

It’s tough to take office as governor and promptly have two crises on your hands, like Gavin Newsom did with the Los Angeles teachers strike and impending bankruptcy filing of Pacific Gas and Electric Co.

So when he called the other day asking about some potential appointments, I couldn’t help but give him a couple of pieces of advice.

The first one: For now, stay out of the teachers strike.

There is little chance a political intermediary is going to make either side happy. That makes it a loser for anyone who tries.

Let Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti take a crack at it first. It’s his city. If he gets it settled, fine. If he walks the plank after ticking off both sides, then Newsom can jump in as the lifeguard to save the day.

Leading to piece of advice No. 2: Concentrate on PG&E.

I’ve represented PG&E as a lawyer in the past, so I didn’t offer any tips on how to handle its possible bankruptcy.

But no one likes big utilities, so there’s only one side to take in this fight and come out ahead: the public’s.

Smell test: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi just relearned an old political lesson: Don’t get in a skunk fight with a skunk.

And there is no bigger skunk than President Trump.

There Pelosi was, all set to head to the airport for a military flight with a congressional delegation to Afghanistan and other overseas destinations, when Trump yanked away the plane. It was a completely predictable response to her (very strong) suggestion that he reschedule his State of the Union address to Congress until the government is fully open.

With that, the whole debate over whether to fund Trump’s border wall turned into a playground spat — or skunk contest, if you prefer.

And while all of this is going on, hundreds of thousands of people are going without paychecks and genuinely hurting.

Trump couldn’t care less. With one stroke, he deflected attention from all that pain to Pelosi, whom he portrayed as just another hack politician flying off on a junket.

The trouble with getting into a fight with a skunk is that the skunk wins. Even if you manage to score a technical knockout, you still wind up with some of the stink.

New wall: Trump is intent on building two walls — one between the U.S. and Mexico, the other between the White House and Congress.

I would be willing to support a GoFundMe campaign for that purpose.

Speaking of funding: Payday loans, if properly regulated, could make life a bit easier for federal employees having to weather the shutdown storm.

And who better to set up and administer an emergency program than the banks that taxpayers bailed out during the 2008-09 financial crash?

Call on the banks to commit a percentage of their asset base for a national payday program, offering zero-interest loans based on federal workers’ take-home pay.

I’m surprised none of the many Democratic presidential candidates has proposed the idea.

In the meantime, Lefty O’Doul’s is offering free meals to federal workers and their families.

Movie time: “If Beale Street Could Talk,” a story about blacks dealing with the criminal justice system. In this movie, it is all bad.

It starts with an argument between a white cop and a black man that leads to horrific consequences. Great acting, in particular by Regina King.

There’s nothing inspirational about this movie. It’s just a taste of reality. So “Beale Street” does talk on that level.

So long: A recently widowed woman whose wedding I officiated years back approached me the other day about delivering the eulogy at her husband’s funeral.

“I will, but you know, I only met your husband at the wedding, and even then it was only for a couple of minutes,” I said.

“True,” she said. “Still, you probably knew him as well as anyone.”

Want to sound off? Email: wbrown@sfchronicle.com

While Ranbir Kapoor made his acting debut in 2007 with Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Saawariya and Ranveer Singh dipped toes in Bollywood with Maneesh Sharma’s Band Baaja Baaraat 3 years after, the two actors are often pitted against each other. Not just professionally, but personally, too, the actors are often asked about each other and perhaps that’s why the Koffee With Karan episode featuring the two last season went on to be loved and lauded the most. 

In a recent interaction with Famously Filmfare, Ranveer was asked about the three relationship bits of advice he’d like to give Ranbir. And while one would have expected a quirky answer from Ranveer, the actor decided to keep it simple. He said that Ranbir is an adult and can make his own decisions. 

Ranveer said, “Ranbir is his own person. He’s mature, he’s an adult, he’s seen life and I am sure he is capable of making his own decisions. Doesn’t need advice from anyone.” (Also read: Edgy, sexy and cool, Ranveer Singh is the ‘ultimate showman’ and this magazine cover is proof – pic inside)

On the personal front, Ranveer is now married to Deepika Padukone, who was earlier dating Ranbir. The DeepVeer wedding, which took place in Italy on November 14 and 15, was a visual spectacle for more reasons than one. The power couple tied the knot twice – in a traditional Konkani ceremony followed by a Sindhi in the presence of their close friends and family members. (Also read: I always try to give her priority: Ranveer Singh on moving into wife Deepika Padukone’s house post marriage)

While Ranbir Kapoor is in “love” with Alia Bhatt. The actor opened up about his relationship last year and ever since, the two have photographed with each other’s families quite a few times. Alia recently flew to New York and rang in the New Year’s with Ranbir’s family including mom Neetu Kapoor and dad Rishi Kapoor. 

Consider these topics and questions to help refresh your marriage this year.

A new year is underway, and many of us are probably working on resolutions we’ve made to improve our lives. What better part of our lives to improve than our most important project, our path towards mutual fulfillment: our marriage!

It’s not impossible; yes, you can “reboot” your marriage! I’m not talking about forgetting everything that’s gone before, or anything like that, but about seeing and meeting each other again as as you did when you first fell in love.

All marriages, as perfect as they may seem in the eyes of the world, have areas where they can grow, and this seems like a good time to examine them. By doing so, we can reinvent our relationship, making it new and improved. Now, a marriage isn’t an isolated entity that works on its own; what makes it work is the union of two people’s wills. Consequently, both spouses need to nurture each part of their relationship.

I suggest you reflect together as spouses on your relationship and see if there are aspects you need to heal or build up. More specifically, I invite you to consider these 6 specific aspects of your marriage. Take this reflection as the starting point for an in-depth discussion of how you can grow that love that you vowed to each other “until death do you part.”

Remember how it was when you were dating. Why did you get married? What was that special thing about your spouse that made you propose marriage? Why did you accept that proposal? Bring that aspect of your past into the present, and feel those butterflies in your stomach again!

What place does God have in your marriage? How is your prayer life as a couple? Is there something for which you need to ask each other for forgiveness? Learning to forgive is essential to marriage. Try to forgive each other as soon as possible, and never go to bed angry.

How is your communication? What virtues do you need to cultivate, or what attitudes do you need to improve, in order to communicate more effectively and directly? Today, our smart phones bring us close to people who are far away, but they can separate us from those who are near us, at our side, such as our spouse. Let’s never forget the importance of face-to-face contact with the most important people in our lives. Communication is a vehicle of love. As human beings and especially as spouses, we need to give ourselves to each other, grow in familiarity with each other, and love each other more and more deeply and completely. Part of spousal love is the need to express ourselves and reveal our innermost thoughts and feelings, with confidence that the other person will understand us and accept us just as we are. There must be absolute trust that allows us — and demands from us — to open ourselves up completely. Of course, it also requires that we accept the other, just the way they are, with the same absolute love.

What are the emotional wounds that keep you from doing the good you want to do, and move you to do the bad things you don’t want to do? How can you support each other in the process of healing? Do you seek God’s help for healing? Remember, for a marriage to improve, change must begin with each one of us. I have to control my words, actions, and feelings, and take responsibility for my own decisions, mistakes, etc.

What are your emotional needs? Are you generous to each other? Do you serve each other with love and a positive attitude, even when you feel tired or in a bad mood? Do you ask each other these magical questions each day: “How can I make you happy today? What can I do for you today?”

Does your conjugal intimacy unite you, or separate you? Do your bodies speak of the love and respect you have for each other?

Marriage has many more aspects, but these 6 are key for growing in love. Lastly, only hold on to those things that truly help you to grow in unity. Leave the past in the hands of God’s mercy. And, if you have issues you can’t resolve on your own, seek professional help.

The stage is set and the contestants of Zee TV’s singing reality show Sa Re Ga Ma Pa are heading towards the finale week where the competition has become more intense than ever. Putting their best foot forward to win audiences over with their incredible singing and mesmerising voices, the top 7 are battling it out to win the audience votes and secure their spot. Well, to ease out the tension and add some peace to the atmosphere, Indian Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev will make an appearance on the sets of Sa Re Ga Ma Pa!

Bringing with him the expertise of asanas and Ayurveda, Baba Ramdev engaged in some fun games and activities whilst on the sets. While Ramdev Baba was impressed with the contestant’s performances and also motivated them, he also shared some tips and tricks and breathing exercises to improve their performance. Well, when Dadi Ji (Deepali Borkar) asked Baba Ji to give some marriage advice to our effervescent host Aditya Narayan, he gave a jaw-dropping response! The yoga guru said, “All the famous people in this world are unmarried. I have become a big yoga celebrity and I am unmarried too! Hence, I would say that Aditya should never get married.” He quipped. Now that’s a rather unexpected piece of advice to the young and handsome eligible bachelor!

Well that wasn’t all, post contestant Sonu Gill’s power-packed performance to the title track of ‘Chakh De India’, his wife decided to come up on stage and ask Baba Ramdev some weight loss tips for Sonu. Being the sport that he is, Baba Ramdev immediately went up on stage and demonstrated the Kapalbhati asana and also advised him to drink a lot of warm water. Further, he advised our sweet contestant, Ishita Vishwakarma to drink Giloy ka Kaadha for her cold and cough. Adding to this, he also gave tips to stay calm under pressure and also perform Anulom-Vilom. The contestants made the evening truly a fun-filled one with their beautiful and power-packed performances. Tanmay Chaturvedi’s performance to the song ‘Show Me Your Jalwa’ left mentor Richa Sharma mesmerized. Ishita’s melodious performance to the popular track ‘Jag Ghomeya’ urged mentor Shekhar Ravjiani to go on stage and perform with her. Moreover, Baba Ramdev sang ‘Yeh desh Mere Kann Mein Hai’ along with the contestants. All in all, this episode of Sa Re Ga Ma Pa brings oodles of entertainment and some truly melodious voices!