Category Archives: Marriage & Divorce
Wife second-guesses marriage after trouble conceiving children – Detroit Free Press
Dear Carolyn: I got married two years ago to a wonderful woman. We are in our mid-30s and decided to wait one year before trying to have kids. We waited the year and started trying, but despite neither of us having any obvious medical issues, we’ve been unable to conceive.
About three months ago my wife told me she was unsure about our relationship. She said the reason she fell in love with me was because I would make a good father, but since kids aren’t immediately on the horizon, she feels I don’t give her enough energy as a couple, and that, while she loves me, she has felt more in love with previous boyfriends. This would have been great to hear before we got married.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m an introvert and probably not the most exciting person to hang out with, but I treat her well, and we have fun.
We’re in therapy, but it’s been very hard for her to come to grips with her emotions. I can’t help feeling like she married a concept instead of me. I also think part of the difficulty is her coming to terms with not being able to have a child as quickly and easily as she wanted.
While I love her and want to continue the relationship, I can’t help but think the foundation of our marriage isn’t solid enough to last, and I’m getting deeply hurt in the process. How much is enough? Is this worth trying to salvage, or should I try to minimize the damage to both of us and move on?
– Frustrated and Confused
Uuuugh. I’m so sorry.
And of course you’re hurt. You thought she married you for love, and you just found out she hired you for a job.
What is “enough,” you ask? That. That is enough.
But first, please know this, because it’s important: It doesn’t mean you’re “not the most exciting person to hang out with.” Your wife’s unhappiness is not rooted in your failure to provide what she needed. It’s rooted in her decision to marry someone who didn’t provide what she needed – to think she could set those misalignments aside for the purpose of getting the family she wanted. (Not uncommon – even with “wonderful” people.)
Read more:
This matters because what you provide is what somebody wants, needs, finds exciting. Someone else. Maybe you haven’t met her yet, and I won’t give you empty assurances that you will, but it’s a no-brainer that there are women “more in love” with an introverted, respectful, fun, he’d-make-a-good-father style.
Which is why this wretched thing might be good for you. When your wife married you for the wrong reasons – I take her word for all this, I should emphasize, and draw no conclusions of my own – she stopped your search for that woman.
So step away from your marriage, for now if not permanently, and think it all over, and heal. Maybe then you’ll see what you were denied by this marriage, that “more in love” feeling, and you’ll grow ready to look again. We all deserve people who feel lucky to have us.
It’s a long shot, but maybe, too, it’ll help her see you differently. Good news for you either way, if painfully achieved.
Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.
Read or Share this story: https://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2019/01/18/fertility-children-marriage/2512455002/
Why Prince Charles told Prince William to Break Up With Kate Middleton – The Cheat Sheet
By now you’ve probably heard that Prince William and Kate Middleton split briefly in 2007, but did William do so because of what his father, Prince Charles, told him?
The prince and Middleton first met while they were each attending St. Andrews University in Scotland. They began dating and even moved into an off-campus apartment together but a few years later, William broke things off and his father’s advice just may have been the reason for that. Here’s why the Prince of Wales urged his son to break up with his future wife, plus what William and Middleton have actually said about their split.
Prince Charles, Prince Harry, Kate Middleton, and Prince William | Chris Jackson/Getty Images
Why Charles told William to break up with Middleton
Royal biographer, Christopher Andersen, has claimed that Prince Charles had a role in his son breaking up with Middleton.
The Daily Star recently noted that in the documentary Kate Middleton: Biography, the author revealed that in April 2007 William asked his father for relationship advice and that’s when Charles told his son to break up with his girlfriend.
According to Andersen, “William went to his father and said, ‘Look, I’m 25, I’m too young to get married. I just don’t want to commit at this point.’”
The royal expert added that “Charles, who was by then very fond of Kate, said ‘It would be unfair to the young lady. You cannot string her along anymore, so you should just break it off.’”
Prince William, Kate Middleton, and Prince Charles | Darren Staples – Pool/Getty Images
Did Camilla want them to break up?
Andersen also stirred speculation about the duke and duchess’ breakup in his 2016 book, Game of Crowns. In it, he wrote that William’s stepmother, Camilla Parker Bowles, wanted the young prince to leave Middleton but for a very different reason than Charles.
Andersen claimed that the Duchess of Cornwall had asked her husband to coax William into breaking things off. The reason he gave was because at the time, Bowles was trying hard to win over the British public and was “disgusted” that everyone seemed to fall in love with Middleton instead of her.
When the pair did get back together a few weeks later, Bowles was reportedly ticked off by how the public embraced the commoner all over again.
Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles | Abdelhak Senna /AFP/Getty Images
What the duke and duchess have said about their split
Of course, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge would never say if Charles or Camilla had a hand in their breakup but the two have addressed their split in the past. During their joint interview in 2010 following William’s marriage proposal to Middleton, they each reflected on that time in their lives.
“We were both very young,” the prince said when asked about their breakup. “It was at university, we were sort of both finding ourselves as such and being different characters and stuff, it was very much trying to find our own way and we were growing up.”
Kate chimed in adding, “I think at the time I wasn’t very happy about it, but actually, it made me a stronger person.”
The two tied the knot in 2011 and today have three children together.
Read more: How Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Lives Will Change Once Prince Charles Becomes King
Check out The Cheat Sheet on Facebook!
An Elegant, Laid-Back Wedding at The Greenbrier in West Virginia – Brides
For Julia Gilliam and Daniel Sterling, choosing a venue for their June 2, 2018, wedding was easy: They just went back to the place where they’d first met! Julia grew up visiting The Greenbrier in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia, with her parents, and after graduating college in August 2013, she returned to the resort to take a job as an event planner there. “There I was, bossing everyone around before the event began, when I noticed a sweet and handsome chef in the kitchen,” she recalls. That chef was Danny, who wasn’t intimidated by the bossy new event planner and sent her a Facebook message the next day. “That event we were working on took place at Howard’s Creek Lodge, and five years later, it’s where Danny and I had our first look,” she says.
But first: the proposal! Sadly, Julia’s mother passed away from ovarian cancer in late 2016, and Danny knew she’d want something to look forward to. “He made sure I had time to heal and planned a trip for us to Chicago for my birthday five months later,” Julia explains. (Little did she know, Danny had also asked for her mother’s blessing in marrying her daughter before she passed.) So, before heading on their trip in May 2017, the couple headed to Julia’s childhood home for an early birthday dinner. “We sat out on my mom’s favorite porch, talking about our trip and enjoying the sunshine,” she recalls. “The next thing I knew, Danny pulled out a ring box and got down on one knee!” He’d also planned much more than a quiet birthday dinner, inviting family and friends to join the couple for an engagement party before their getaway.
Of course, the couple already knew where their wedding would be. “We loved that The Greenbrier had such a special place in both of our hearts for so many reasons, and was also easy for our loved ones to get to,” Julia says. “Not to mention, it is beautifully nestled in the mountains!” The couple worked with Jessica Sloane to create an elegant, laid-back wedding full of organic elements and delicious (and healthy!) food. (After all, the duo now has their own catering company.)
So keep reading to see Tec Petaja‘s stunning photos of Julia and Danny’s big day in the West Virginia mountains!
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
Julia and her sister went on a “cross-country wedding dress extravaganza,” hitting up bridal salons in every city they traveled to in the summer of 2017. “She was such a good sport about it!” the bride laughs. After trying on every lace V-neck gown they came across, Julia and her sister discovered designer Mira Zwillinger. “We stumbled upon a trunk show in L.A., and they were able to squeeze me in,” she recalls. “I chose my favorite gown, and as soon as they zipped me in, I knew I loved everything about it!” The A-line wedding gown featured layers of soft tulle and hand-embroidered flowers perfectly appliquéd across the sheer bodice. “It was light and airy, a little bohemian, and had that natural vibe I wanted,” explains the bride. She added a pair of Alexandre Birman sandals for a comfortable yet stylish finish.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Danny and his groomsmen all wore Alton Lane custom tuxedos, with the groom wearing a shawl collar and the groomsmen in notched collars. “He chose a covered placket shirt and no cummerbund for a modern, slightly less formal look,” Julia describes.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
Julia paired the floral accents on her wedding gown with a lush bouquet of foxglove, mock orange, blush viburnum, nerine lilies, chocolate cosmos, and distant drum garden roses.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
The bridesmaids carried smaller versions of the same floral selection, which perfectly paired with their mismatched champagne, soft grey, and nude dresses. “I chose a few different designers who carried colors I loved, then let them pick a dress from there,” says Julia.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
Before the ceremony, Julia met Danny at the place where they’d first met—Howard’s Creek Lodge—for an emotional first look.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
“I’d always dreamed of an outdoor ceremony, but the valley was full of mist and rain the morning of our wedding,” recalls the bride. She waited until the last minute before agreeing to let her planner move the ceremony inside the property’s event barn—but once Julia and her dad started walking down the aisle, she says all reservations were gone. “They opened the barn doors as the backdrop, so we could still look out over the Allegheny Mountains, which helped to bring the outdoors in,” she says.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
During cocktail hour, guests sipped local craft beers from Brother’s Craft Brewing Company alongside a locally made mint kombucha from Mountain Culture Kombucha. “Danny’s favorite easy-drinking beer is Miller Highlife, so he insisted we serve it,” Julia says. “We kept joking that it was our signature cocktail!”
Photo by Tec Petaja
Guests found their seats on an oversized copper escort sign, etched with guests’ names and table assignments. “We still haven’t figured out what we’re going to do with it now that the wedding is over!” says Julia with a laugh.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
Two table designs filled the airy tent. The first featured a pale blue linen with a garland of spirea branches woven between nude taper and votive candles. Additionally, slate blue napkins were placed atop mango wood chargers, and surrounded by copper flatware.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
For the second design, wooden tables were dressed with soft runners and topped with terra cotta vessels full of garden roses, tea roses, and fresh greenery. Each was finished off with the same chargers and flatware as the linen-covered tabletops.
Photo by Tec Petaja
As a chef, Danny definitely played a role in the menu selection. “In 2016, Danny was diagnosed with testicular cancer, which really inspired us to pursue a healthy lifestyle to prevent a reoccurrence,” Julia explains. “I became a nutritionist, and Danny and I founded Cumberland Heritage to prepare interesting and delicious food with wellness in mind.” Their wedding menu took inspiration from the couple’s company, using local ingredients to create a meal of a local greens with bright radishes, West Virginia short rib with new potatoes, and maplewood smoked salmon with local summer vegetables.
Photo by Tec Petaja
Photo by Tec Petaja
The Steel Toe Stilettos took to the stage after dinner, keeping the dance floor packed all night. “Late in the evening, we had a deejay take over and served gyoza and chicken potstickers. They were a huge hit!” says Julia.
Looking back, the former event planner turned bride has a piece of planning advice. “As tempting as it might be, don’t try to control the weather,” Julia advises. “Make plans you’ll love no matter the conditions. You may have a vision, but Mother Nature knows best! Remember that it will be an incredible day no matter what.”
Wedding Planner: Jessica Sloane || Venue & Catering: The Greenbrier Sporting Club || Bride’s Dress: Mira Zwillinger || Bride’s Shoes: Alexandre Birman || Bride’s Jewelry: Jane Pope Jewelry || Hair & Makeup: Emily Artistry || Bridesmaids’ Dresses: Reformation, Show Me Your Mumu, Joanna August || Groom & Groomsmen’s Attire: Alton Lane|| Wedding Bands: Jane Pope Jewelry || Floral Design: Vintage Florals || Paper Products: Jenny Sanders || Ceremony Music: Wirewood Music || Reception Music: Steel Toe Stilettos || Rentals: Paisley and Jade, Emerson and James || Accommodations: The Greenbrier Hotel || Videography: Josh Gooden || Photography: Tec Petaja
Bride Considers Asking Bridesmaids to Wear Colored Contacts Because 'Blue Eyes Would Clash' – Brides
Just when you thought you’ve seen it all—a bride reading her fiancé’s cheating texts at the altar, a bride who assigned a guest dress code based on weight—another bride’s outrageous demands have taken the (wedding) cake.
In a recent post shared to Facebook and spotted by Yahoo, a bride, whose name has been redacted, asked if her wedding day request—to ask her blue-eyed bridesmaids to wear colored contacts—was excessive.
“How over the top is it to buy my blue-eyed bridesmaids color contacts?” she asked in the now-viral post. “I’m offering to let them select any color, even rich amber brown like mine (I’m not afraid of being overshadowed!) I just think blue eyes would clash, since one of the wedding colors is chartreuse.”
She then followed up her request with a photo of a neon chartreuse strapless bridesmaids dress.
The post was shared to a wedding-shaming Facebook group, where the group’s members had plenty of thoughts and advice on the bride’s potential demands. (Note: While you might not agree with the bride’s tact, online bullying is still not OK.)
“Five years from now, when you look back on your wedding, even small details like ‘what shoes were the bridesmaids wearing’ won’t matter or be remembered. Much less nonsense like this,” one wrote.
Another penned: “I once heard of a bride who wanted to make all of the bridesmaids dye their hair a certain color because their hair didn’t match their dresses, but this is a little too specific.”
See more: This Bride Cancelled Her Wedding After Guests Refused to Pay Her $1,500 Attendance Fee
“Just the fact that she stated ‘I’m not afraid of being overshadowed by blue eyes’ means she’s definitely afraid of being overshadowed by blue-eyed girls,” wrote another. “And the whole ‘clashing with the dress’ is a thinly veiled excuse. Homegirl needs some self-esteem.”
Perhaps this bride should simply consider expanding her color palette and accepting her bridesmaids for the beautiful people they are.
