Category Archives: Relationships
The new dating app from Betches lets your friends swipe for you – AOL
If you have ever sent your group chat of BFFs a screenshot of your latest match on a dating app or have had to poll your squad on what the perfect opening line is to send to the new cutie you’re swiping on, then it’s time for you to download Ship.
From the minds of the Betches, the media group behind the hilarious and brutally honest blog of the same name, the book “I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies…” and the popular relationship advice podcast U Up?, comes a dating app that brings your friends into the mix to help you find your next date.
“With Ship, friends can set each other (or themselves) up — because who knows you better than your friends?” But don’t worry, while your friends that are already in relationships can swipe for you, their app experience will look a little different to make sure that it’s all about you, the dater!
We caught up with the three women behind Betches, Aleen Kuperman, Samantha Fishbein and Jordana Abraham, to find out how this idea of a group chat upgrade got started.
AOL: How did you ladies come up with the idea for Ship?
Betches: “We built this company in 2011 and have been lifelong friends. We’ve grown up and really have gone through every phase of life, including dating, [together], and it’s what our audience has always really asked us about. Then a while ago we got together with [Match Group’s CEO Mandy Ginsberg] to talk about the dating space and what was missing from it. And we were talking about how we go through all of these aspects of life with our friends and we’re always looping them in, and the dating apps that were out there didn’t really reflect that — and that’s how the idea of Ship was born, which brings your friends back into the mix and really takes away from the isolation that a lot of people feel when they’re dating. It really makes dating more social and fun than it was before.”
Why do you think having your friends swipe for you will work and create more connections?
“There’s the aspect that your friends know you in some ways even better than you could know what you want. If they’ve seen you dating for a while and they know what kind of [people] have worked out for you — or not — that aspect really deepens the relationships. And it makes for like a good story if it does work out!”
What do you think makes an awesome dating profile?
“I think it’s important that [your profile] actually reflects who you are. I think a lot of people go in and try to be someone that they think people will like and they misrepresent themselves, whether by using older pictures which aren’t reflective of what they currently look like or maybe they’re trying too hard to project a certain image… I think it’s really important to put your true authentic self out there because that’s what’s really going to get you the matches that are going to last and that are actually going to be good for you, because you’re showing who you actually are instead of what you want people to think you’re like.”
On the flip side, what do you think are some red flags or things people should avoid on their own and other people’s profiles?
“I would say to avoid using older pictures. Use something you feel really looks like you right now or what’s the point? You want the person to see who you are right now, not who you were five years ago at a certain angle that you thought looked really good. Also, I think that having all group shots is a red flag, sunglasses in every picture, excessive selfies or [only pictures with] angles that look a little bit suspicious.”
What advice would you give to someone who is nervous to start using dating apps?
“We think that Ship is sort of the perfect jump into dating apps. We feel like Ship is sort of the perfect place to start because you can do it with your friends, it doesn’t have to feel isolating and weird. And there’s way less pressure because you can look at it as just kind of a fun social thing you’re doing with your friends rather than a high stakes thing that if you don’t get a date from it or enough matches, you don’t have to feel as much pressure because it’s not only about that. It’s also supposed to be about the fun of dating.”
This interview has been edited and condensed
Eight Things You Should Do When Writing Your Dating App Bio on Tinder or Bumble – menshealth.com
It’s easy to neglect the humble dating app bio—that small box of text lurking below your carefully curated selection of head shots, marathon finishes, and beach photos from last summer when you may or may not have been 10 pounds lighter. Sure, profile pictures might be what most people focus on at first, but a fun and witty bio is often the kicker—the tipping point that ignites an engaging conversation, helps you find instant common ground, and leads to an actual date.
But with so few words (just 500 characters on Tinder!), how do you know what to put in and leave out? Kevin Murray, a professional online dating coach and the founder of Icebrkr, an app that provides people with profile-writing advice, says it all starts with making a short list of the things you’re most passionate about. Got it? Here’s what he suggests you do next.
One: Maximize your space.
Some dating sites allow you to fill in pages of information about yourself. Others, like Tinder, only have enough room for a few sentences. Murray says you should fill out all or most of the space you’re given, but “don’t waste your profile.”
“It’s like marketing; you have to catch their eye,” he says, but don’t overthink it. “Just be honest, be yourself, and say what you’re excited about.”
Two: Avoid cliches.
Say, do you like to travel? Of course you do. Who doesn’t? Speaking generally about how much you enjoy sightseeing is a giant cliche. “Cliches are bad icebreakers,” Murray says, partly because they’re often generic and vague. “You can do a better job at setting people up by being more specific.”
For instance, instead of merely talking about your willingness to skip town at a moment’s notice, say where you just traveled to—or the next country you plan to visit. Those specifics will increase the likelihood of kicking off a great conversation.
Try: “I love to go on one big trip every year. Last May it was Italy, and this June I’m going to China!”
Three: Don’t list the personality traits you want.
Other people often list traits or behaviors they want or don’t want in a partner, but that can end up coming off as overly negative and exclusionary, Murray says. For instance, some people like to say smokers should swipe left, or that they want someone of a certain body type. “Saying what you want in a partner doesn’t really work in that confined of a space,” he says. Instead, you might try something a little more tongue-in-cheek, or focus more generally on how you could imagine spending time together.
Try: “I’m looking for someone who will go to Target with me on Sunday mornings to walk around pointlessly and leave with bags of stuff we didn’t go there for.”
Four: Focus on your best qualities.
Keep things focused on your biggest passions: how you stay active, your favorite types of movies and TV shows, whether or not you love to cook. It’s okay if your nine-to-five isn’t one of them: Murray says he used to work a desk job he hated, but when he went on dating sites, he’d focus on a side project he felt good about. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it shouldn’t be in your profile,” Murray says.
Try: “Escaping from reality is important, especially in my line of work. In the winter I love to go snowboarding in Vermont. I’m a beginner, but I have faith I’ll be off the bunny slope soon.”
Five: Stay grounded in reality.
Lies and exaggerations often come back to bite guys in the ass, Murray says. “When you embellish too much of your ideal self, and then they meet you and you’re not those things, you tend to get ghosted,” he says.
The same goes for talking about something you plan to do. For instance, if you put in your bio that you like working out, but in reality, you just hope to in the future, leave it out.
Try: “I try to stay as active as possible, but I also don’t feel bad when I skip CrossFit to stay in and watch football.”
Six: Limit the inside jokes.
A witty bio can really stand out, but if a lot of people don’t get the joke, it might not work well for you, Murray says. The same goes for emojis: They’re fun among friends, but a stranger might interpret them differently. Deploy them sparingly.
Try: “I’m not the greatest cook in the world, but I enjoy it. Send me your best turkey chili recipe.”
Seven: Keep your bio up to date.
Bios shouldn’t be set in stone, Murray says. Think of it almost the way you would about a profile on LinkedIn. Drop in every now and then to freshen things up with news of your most recent goals or accomplishments, like the half marathon you just signed up for. The same goes for whatever TV show you’re binge-watching at the moment. You might find a fellow super-fan willing to debate the latest True Detective fan theory they stumbled across, rather than someone who thinks you’re still plodding through the first season of Bojack Horseman.
Try: “Counting down the days until the Game of Thrones premiere. Tell me your craziest theory.”
Eight: Do a quick spell-check
Fine, maybe you’re not trying to win a spelling bee here, but details matter—people will judge if you make too many mistakes, especially common ones like writing “their” instead of “they’re.” Murray also says to avoid using too much slang, which could come off as immature or, again, turn people off if they feel like they’re not in on the joke.
Instead, workshop your bio using a basic word processor like Google Docs, and leave the spell checker on to help safeguard you against any glaring errors, he says.
Meredith Golden will be your dating app ghostwriter for the price of an arm and a heart – The Hustle
It takes time to learn the ropes of dating apps. And, tricks of the trade like putting a puppy in your main photo, subtly hinting that you own a yacht, and striking a tasteful balance in your bio between wit and sensitivity make you a billion percent more likely to match with someone.
But, if you don’t have time for trial and error, it’s time to call in a professional. Someone like Meredith Golden: Dating app ghostwriter.
Now hiring: Your love life’s editor-in-chief
Hailed by The Cut as New York City’s “Tinder Whisperer,” Golden began charging for her services in 2015, after gaining a reputation for being a real dating profile wiz.
Now, she spends her days swiping, “liking,” and flirting in the voice of her female and male clients — most of whom are busy Manhattan professionals in their mid-30s.
She works with no more than 10 clients at a time, and charges up to $2k a month. Of course, for individuals merely looking for tips, Golden offers a $500/month diagnosis and consultation package.
But this one’s fer freeee…
Golden has 2 lists of people women should stay away from: One titled “we don’t date them,” highlighting deal breakers like flossing at the table during a first date, and another titled, “creeps,” AKA racists, people who joke about pedophilia — that sorta thing.
Wait. So don’t date creeps now? Sheesh. First they tell ya breakfast is the most important meal of the day, then they say it’ll kill you — is nothing sacred??
'Millionaire Matchmaker' Patti Stanger Shares Dating Advice Ahead of Morristown Appearance – NJNext
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Patti Stanger, star and executive producer of “The Millionaire Matchmaker,” brings her no-nonsense advice for helping singles find love to Mayo Performing Arts Center Feb. 7 at 7:30 p.m.
Beloved for her sassy straight talk, the third-generation matchmaker, who’s recently re-entered the dating pool (proving coaches do play), spoke with NJNext.com and shared her tips for navigating the often-harrowing app-based world of dating.
When it comes to creating a profile that’ll prevent prospects from swiping left, Stanger starts by focusing on photos.
“Candid shots better than professional shots but I think you should mix those up,” she says. “They shouldn’t be all staged shots like you’re a blogger on Instagram, but you also need that candid ‘Hey, I just went to yoga class and my friend took a goofy photo of me,’ shot instead of the selfie thing. They want to see an activity. I don’t think it’s wise to have 16 cats and 15 beers in the picture, or three girls you can’t get in your photos. It should only be you in your photos and that is very important.”
Whether candid or staged, you still want to look your best, says Stanger. Opt for solid colors, or timeless classics like a black dress, or a red top and a pair of jeans that won’t look dated in a year or two.
The matchmaking maven, who grew up in the Millburn-Short Hills area, notes that daters in New Jersey and New York are a lot more direct than those looking for love on the West Coast, where evasiveness permeates profiles, wasting both time and energy.
“Say, ‘This is who I am, and this is what I want,’” she advises. “If you’re in the market for a long-term relationship, say it ’cause you want to deter the hook-up guy like you’ll find on Tinder. You also need to say what you’re looking for. If you’re successful and seeking an affluent gentleman, you gotta say it. Ask for what you want.”
Another way to spare yourself potential heartache Stanger notes is to make the date on the phone rather than via text.
“Do your vetting on the call,” she says. “You need to hear his voice to see if he’s someone you’d be attracted to. If you have kids, tell him. Get everything out of the way on the phone to know if you still want to go ahead with the date.”
Don’t lose heart
We’ve all heard that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince or princess. But for those who are losing heart on the journey to their happily-ever-after, Stanger says, remember: “You can’t get insecure and think there’s nobody left, because all it takes is one.”
In her book, Becoming Your Own Matchmaker, Stanger addresses how to stay positive and fight the fatigue that can go hand-in-hand with searching for “the one.”
“There’s a dating detox chapter, which teaches you how to detox after negative dates, or if you’ve been out of the game for a while, or if you’ve just keep going, going, going, and years are going by and you still haven’t met anyone you like. It depends on what stage of development you’re at, but I do believe mediation is a saving grace,” she says.
Keeping a relationship fresh
Once you’ve found your partner, don’t get complacent — especially with a romantic holiday looming, Stanger cautions. With easy-to-use apps like Open Table and Resy, there’s no excuse for not making Valentine’s Day reservations. She advises going to favorite places as opposed to new ones where service could be less than stellar, causing your date to take a downturn.
“Plan a fun date,” she says. “Do something you enjoy: going to the theater, going to the beach, getting a bottle of wine and watching the sunset. You’ve got to find your thing. If you don’t plan anything, if you don’t get the flowers, and you don’t get the gift, and you don’t get him something, no one’s getting laid that night. You can’t go, ‘Oh it’s just a Hallmark holiday. I’m not really into Valentine’s Day.’ No, every girl’s into Valentine’s Day and every guy should be if he wants to get some…”
Connect with Patti
For those who are out of town or can’t make it to see Stanger on her first tour, check out her website, PattiKnows.com and register to be included in her weekly webinars. Fans can also get the latest advice on love, dating and relationships.
For more information about Stanger’s upcoming appearance, visit Mayo PAC’s website.
