Category Archives: Relationships
The do's and don'ts for 1st dates: Expert – ABC News
You said yes to a first date with someone you met online! Now what?
Online dating can be a cold experience at first, but expert Matthew Hussey has all the right moves to break the ice once you meet for the first time IRL.
After going through a dating app boot camp and “swiping up a storm,” Marisol Casariego said she narrowed down her options to just three men and she’s ready to move the flirty conversations to a first date.
But before she does dating expert Matthew Hussey shared some tips and what not to do for “First Date Friday” on “GMA.”
Hussey says there are a few key rules to abide by, and it starts with nonverbal communication.
Tips for non-verbal communication
Start with a friendly hug
Hussey suggests just the right amount of warmth upon the initial interaction, “I want you to Goldilocks it.”
“When you show up be warm. Give him a big hug. Don’t worry about being hot in the first five minutes,” he said. “There’s time but don’t play it too cool for school, either.”
Be aware of your seating arrangement
Hussey said many times people make the mistake of sitting across from one another, which he said “is intense because your energy is all pointed towards each other” and can make silence awkward. Instead, he suggests that both people sit on the corner at a right angle or bench style at the bar.
“You’re closer, so it should feel more awkward but it doesn’t because you’re not facing directly at each other,” he said. “If there’s a silence, you’re just people watching together.”
Tips for verbal communication
Don’t be too literal with your answers
There are some common questions people ask on a first date, but how you respond is key. Hussey said that asking, “How are you?” is just another way to find something to talk about so it’s good to give an answer with some detail to keep the date engaged.
Otherwise, he said it becomes like a game of tennis.
“You serve me the ball, I’m hitting it back,” Hussey explained. “Conversation is a game of catch. Let me catch it for a moment and take pressure off you and throw it back.”
Give your date a hook
When talking to your date, Hussey said it’s an opportunity to be honest and explain how you’re feeling so they have a hook.
Try to give high-value responses
Another common and “horrible question,” in Hussey’s mind, is, “Why are you still single?” He suggests keeping it simple and framing the answer to make your date think about themselves.
“When a guy says that to you he’s trying to make you think about you — But you’re not going to accept that. Instead, you’ll make him think about him. So when you say, I’m looking for a great connection and if I didn’t find that I wouldn’t settle. He’s now thinking, ‘Am I going to give her that great connection? Am I going to be good enough?'”
Casariego ultimately chose Brian Goldman, a third-year resident physician who loves hiking and being active outside. The two met face to face on “GMA” ahead of their first date to try out some of these tips together!
The online dating world seems to just be about hookups: Ask Ellie – Toronto Star
Q: My friends suggested I try a popular dating app. I’m in my late 30s, attractive, divorced, no kids. One guy who texted me was the same age, decent looking, and said he was in town for a few days staying at a hotel.
After exchanging a few meaningless texts, I said that I’d had a long workday and was going to sleep early (9 p.m.). I was awakened by his next text at 2 a.m.: “Come over.”
Don’t let social media and dating app approaches demean who you are and what you want from dating, writes advice columnist Ellie Tesher. (Richard Lautens / Toronto Star)
Prince Charles' former butler is being served over his royally bad dating advice. – Mamamia
Prince Charles‘ former butler is getting served on Twitter right now. See, since stepping away from the Palace, Grant Harrold has fashioned himself into “Britain’s etiquette expert”, which seems to involve telling people you’ve never met how to behave. (Seems rude, but hey, I’m no expert.)
Among the advice ‘The Royal Butler’ has bestowed upon the uncouth masses via social media is:
- “The length of a conversation must depend on the place you meet. In the streets they are required to be short, in a garden you have longer.”
- “When we’re in our vehicles today, it doesn’t mean we forget or manners, which includes please and thank you’s! Otherwise you may anger other drivers!”
- “Ladies & Gentlemen, if you would not kiss someone in real life, then please avoid adding kisses at the end of texts or emails to them!
But it’s his latest tip that has people tossing out their manners:
Gentlemen, let’s remember that a Lady never looks at the bill. pic.twitter.com/pDiD4u1t9r
— The Royal Butler (@TheRoyalButler) January 7, 2019
“Gentlemen, let’s remember that a Lady never looks at the bill.”
Oh, Grant.
We have so many questions: What if she’s not “a Lady”?; What if she’s the waitress?; Can her partner just read the amount out loud?; What about gay couples? Do they eat free?; Are you a time-traveller? If so, welcome to 2019 – it’s fun here in the future.
(Story time: I went to a restaurant in the UK where I was given a menu without prices. Because apparently only my boyfriend needs that information. I wanted to flip the table, but our entrees had already been served and I wasn’t sure whether they were expensive or not…)
The many, many flaws in Grant’s quaint nugget of wisdom are being deftly dissected in the comments section.
me and my wife are forever cursed to pay blindly
— liz (@sapphroditte) January 9, 2019
7 Signs You're Falling Out of Love – How to Tell If You're Falling Out of Love – Seventeen.com
Getty Images/Margaret Flatley
If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering if you’re growing out of love with your partner, and if it’s time to end things. While your relationship might be nearing its expiration date, you could also just be in a slump with your S.O. Maybe the problems you’re experiencing are ones you can easily work through. But before you make the hard AF decision to end things with your bae, consider whether you’re actually falling out of love, or you’re just tired of specific fights… it can be pretty difficult to differentiate between the two.
But don’t worry — if you’re struggling with how you’re feeling, you’ve come to the right place. Seventeen talked to relationship experts April Masini and Andrea Syrtash about all the signs your love for your partner might be fading. If you think it might be time to cut the cord, here are seven things to watch out for in your relationship.
1. You’re questioning your feelings for them
If you’re constantly thinking about whether you still love your partner, this probably isn’t a great sign. “When you’re in love, you tend not to question how you feel too much,” Syrtash tells Seventeen. And even worse, if you’re vocalizing these concerns, you might be leaning towards breaking up with your S.O. “If you need a lot of reassurance, you may be looking for an excuse to leave,” Syrtash says.
2. You don’t want to spend as much time with them
So you used to cherish every single date night, and miss your S.O. on nights you didn’t see them… but now, not so much. You’d rather get a bite with the girls or spend the night in with your family. “People in love want to do things together,” Masini says. “This doesn’t mean they want to do everything together, but they want to spend time together.”
But if you feel like you’re the one responsible for spending less time together, perhaps this is something you can work out with your partner. “If you’ve been the one stonewalling, and you can change your own behavior, then this may just be a bump in the road, and not something chronic that is the end of love,” Masini says.
3. You’re less intimate with them
If the physical intimacy in your relationship changes, you might be falling out of love. If you find that you and your S.O. are kissing or holding hands less often, you should look out for other signs. “Public displays of affection are ways for partners to show their feelings,” Masini says.
4. You find them annoying
Is your partner getting on your nerves way too often? Are you getting irritated by totally minute details, like the way they cut their meat or brush their teeth? While it’s completely normal for your S.O. to annoy you every now and then (no relationship is perfect!), if the aggravation is getting out of hand, you’re probably not crazy in love anymore. “If you find yourself suddenly dissecting and judging everything the person you’re dating is doing, this may be a sign that you’re not as into the person as you once were,” Syrtash says.
5. You can’t stop fighting
Of course, fighting with your bae is SO normal. But is it getting to be too much? “When the love fades, there is space for other emotions and relationship dynamics to take over,” Masini says. “Usually, when the love fades, partners start sniping at each other. This sniping becomes bickering, and the bickering becomes chronic.”
According to Masini, a sure-fire way to tell if you’re fighting too much, is to evaluate if you fight more than you express any other emotion in the relationship. To figure out if you’re just going through a rough patch, you should look at your history with your partner. “Try and get a handle on patterns you’ve learned about in your relationship, to decide if this is a chronic issue,” she says.
6. You don’t talk about them very often
When you’re really into someone, you’re usually pretty excited to talk about him/her with your family and friends. You want to brag about their accomplishments and share the sweet things they’ve done for you. But when you stop doing that, Masini says it might be because you’re not as in love as you once were. “If you notice yourself — or your partner — not talking about each other in positive ways to others, chances are, the love is fading.”
7. You’re spending holidays apart
Though you might not be ready to spend big family holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas with your bae, according to Masini, you usually want to “celebrate your love” on landmark holidays like Valentine’s Day or the Fourth of July. “If you’re falling out of love, you don’t want to cement your bond anymore, so you start separating on holidays.” So even if it doesn’t seem like a huge deal, it could be a sign that you’re growing apart from your partner.
