Category Archives: Relationships
Whether it's a bar in Shinjuku or over a dating app with someone in Osaka, words matter when talking about LGBT topics – The Japan Times
A recent survey by advertising giant Dentsu revealed that roughly 1 out of 11 people in Japan identify as レズビアン, ゲイ, バイセクシュアル, トランスジェンダー (rezubian, gei, baisekushuaru, toransujendā, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender), and the survey comes on the heels of some positive developments for the LGBT community in this country.
In 2015, Tokyo’s Shibuya and Setagaya wards started issuing パートナーシップ証明書 (pātonāshippu shōmeisho, partnership certificates), which recognize same-sex couples in relationships. The certificate insists — but doesn’t require — that hospitals and companies such as real-estate firms treat these couples the same as married ones. Several major cities in Japan, including Osaka and Fukuoka, have followed suit by offering their own certificates.
Japanese media has been tracking the new laws that benefit 同性カップル (dōsei kappuru, same-sex couples). Headlines often bounce between the phrases “LGBT” and “性的少数者” (seiteki shōsūsha, sexual minorities). Readers might also spot the katakana “セクシュアルマイノリティー” (sekushuaru mainoritii, sexual minority), which, though technically an English phrase, is rarely used in overseas media.
In any case, “LGBT” has become so widely understood in Japan that it has even been added to Kojien, the most respected Japanese dictionary in the country. The publisher was criticized, however, when it lumped all four categories under one definition and inadvertently defined being transgender as someone having a different 性的指向 (seiteki shikō, sexual orientation) than most people. The entry was later corrected to explain that transgender is based on 性自認 (seijinin, sexual recognition) instead of orientation.
Despite being defined in the dictionary, some Japanese are still trying to fully understand the terms. It’s not uncommon to hear people refer to transgender individuals as ニューハーフ (nyūhāfu, new half), a word that is slowly becoming outdated as it is starting to dip in popularity, according to Google Trends, while “toransujendā” becomes more common.
Japan’s familiarity with LGBT words may be due to more people feeling comfortable with カミングアウト (kamingu auto, coming out). Searching the term on YouTube reveals hundreds of videos of people telling their stories of coming out as LGBT to their families, friends or coworkers, sometimes ending with rejection and other times acceptance.
A place where the LGBT community is always welcome, though, is 二丁目 (Ni-chōme), the anointed gay district that is located in Tokyo’s Shinjuku Ward. The area has hundreds of bars that cater to queer clientele and overseas travelers.
But those who wish to visit them should do some research ahead of time as certain bars may restrict who can get in depending on the night. The famous Bar Gold Finger declares on its website that it is a place where レズビアン＆バイ女性が安心して楽しめる (rezubian ando bai josei ga anshin shite tanoshimeru, lesbians and bi women can relax and have fun). Many places advertise themselves as ミックスバー (mikkusu bā, mixed bars) where anyone can enter and join in on the fun. Some places may be a little more exclusive with notices that they are メンズオンリー (menzu onrii, men only).
The website 2choco is full of pointers for 初心者 (shoshinsha, beginners) who are intimidated about their first trip to Ni-chōme and for ノンケ (nonke, straight people) who just want to see what all the fuss is about. Mind you, the website also uses the word ノーマル (nōmaru, normal) to describe heterosexual, cisgender customers, which is a pretty abnormal use of the word.
2choco’s main tips are to relax, have fun, be respectful, and let go of any 偏見 (henken, prejudices) or 固定概念 (kotei gainen, preconceived notions) one might have about the LGBT community. The site stresses visitors to understand that even though some people might have a different セクシュアリティー (sekushuaritii, sexuality) than you, we all share the same 恋愛観 (renaikan, view on love).
Ni-chōme is a lot of fun, but people no longer need to physically be there in order to find friends or somebody to love thanks to the emergence of dating apps and websites. Like their English counterparts, these apps have given rise to a whole new vocabulary that newcomers might find unfamiliar.
Most profiles will include the phrase 募集中 (boshūchū, currently recruiting) to describe what they are looking for, including 彼女/彼氏募集中 (kanojo/kareshi boshūchū, looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend), パートナー募集中 (pātonā boshūchū, looking for a partner) and なんでも募集中 (nandemo boshūchū, looking for whatever). Businesses often advertise job openings with バイト募集中 (baito boshūchū, hiring part-timers), so scrolling through dating profiles can feel like reading the want ads.
Users also often characterize their appearance with phrases such as 男らしい (otokorashii, manly) or ノンケっぽい (nonke-ppoi, straight acting). Some might be blunt with their preferences, writing things such as 女っぽい人はすみません (onna-ppoi hito wa sumimasen, people who are feminine, sorry…).
As the vocabulary for discussing LGBT topics grows, more people benefit by being represented. Whether you’re chatting to someone at a bar in Shinjuku or over a dating app with someone in Osaka, words matter.
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I personally like dating dirty guys – Slay queen to handsome man (photo) – Legit.ng
There are several things men and ladies look out for when trying to choose who to date. Some ladies prefer the tall, dark and handsome men while some men would rather date a woman who is thick, light-skinned and curvy. It all depends on their preferences.
A young lady identified as Joyie Theseventhstar (@njoyie) on Twitter, on Thursday, January 24, slammed a man on her page for saying he was single. She said the guy is not attractive.
Joyie did not end it there but further disclosed that she would rather date a dirty man who is dark-skinned than be with Mokoloko Twane.
I personally like dating dirty guys – Slay queen to handsome man Photo: @mokolokotwane
Source: Twitter
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Her post reads: “o you are beautiful but I personally like a dirty guy, a ganja mahnnnmn, dark-skinned, a man that never takes pictures. A guy that can hold a gun, … You are not even anywhere near attractive. You look like you cannot even protect yourself from even mere rain. Bye.”
See post below:
Legit.ng earlier reported that a woman identified as Moroetsana took to the mirco-blogging platform to cry out for help revealing her husband of one year is emotionally abusive. Moroetsana revealed that although he has physically assaulted her just once, he is constantly emotionally abusive and is a known cheat who lies a lot.
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Can a man show his love to a woman without having money? | Legit TV.
Source: Legit.ng
Apple Launches Women Entrepreneurs Camp at Its HQ – NBC Southern California
Apple on Sunday launched its first program dedicated to helping women entrepreneurs develop apps.
The Cupertino-based tech giant invited 11 companies run by women to participate in a free two-week entrepreneur camp. The goal: to help women successfully develop their apps.
“We can’t wait to see you and your skills and help you thrive with your apps,” Esther Hare of Apple’s developer relations told the group.
To qualify, a company must be run or founded by a woman or have a woman on the development team.
Elena Krasnoperova of Los Altos said she welcomes advice about ways she can improve the app she designed to help make life easier for divorced parents.
“I feel I won the lotto,” said Krasnoperova, founder and CEO of FamTerra. “Developing is a lot of hard work, and getting mentorship and advice from Apple is like a dream come true.”
For the next two weeks, participants will receive coding help from Apple engineers and attend sessions on design, technology and marketing. Some of the entrepreneurs are developing apps targeted specifically for women.
Renee Olson, for instance, is working on a dating app that will better help women find a good match. She’s hoping the entrepreneur camp will take her app to the next level.
“Helping me implement new features and also just being here to network,” said Olson, founder of Mental Mobile, based in Southern California.
The developers are from all parts of the world, and many are hoping the experience with Apple will also help them get the financial backing they need to get their apps into the market.
Apple plans to offer the camp to 20 female entrepreneurs every quarter.
Worst First Date Situations – AskMen
One Too Many Horrible Dates? Here’s How to Handle Them Like a Pro
The possibilities of what could happen on a first date are endless. Whether you’re complete strangers who’ve been set up by friends, online dating matches, or longtime pals who are giving into that undeniable attraction, you never really know what the relationship will feel like by the night’s end.
Part of a first date’s power comes from how great it feels when it doesn’t end disastrously in one of a seemingly infinite number of ways. While there are lots of scenarios for a successful first date, what about those that don’t go so well? What you hoped would blossom into a long-term relationship could potentially be a cautionary tale of a nightmarish variety.
What you’ll find below are six common bad date scenarios, along with some advice on how to handle each one like a pro.
1. Your Date Doesn’t Show Up
So, the big date is finally here. You show up acting all cool, dressed up a little (but not too much), and your date’s nowhere to be found. Although you’re killing time with a stiff drink, one minute turns to two, and then to five, 10 and soon enough, 15. You start to get worried.
Are you being ghosted? While this is a pretty embarrassing and self-esteem-crushing situation, there’s actually a silver lining. Think of your would-be date bailing as you saving a bunch of time, money, and heartbreak. You’ve already learned they’re unreliable at the earliest possible moment, rather than getting strung along.
What to Do: If you’re smart, you told a close friend you were going on a date with a Tinder match so they’d be prepared to contact the authorities in case you went missing. Hit them up with a bunch of frowny-face emojis and ask if they want to hang out so you’re not wallowing in your feelings all night.
2. Your Date Looks Way Different in Person
Say you match with someone who’s really your type physically, and when they show up, they’re looking, well … different. It could be a full-on catfish situation, or a case of someone using out-of-date photos to cast themselves in a more flattering light. Regardless, you might be in a bit of shock. Do you pretend everything is normal and try to struggle through? Is it worth bringing up and making things super awkward out of the gate?
What to Do: Sure, no one’s using their ugliest photos on a dating profile, but if there’s a noticeable disparity between what you saw online and what you’re seeing IRL, it is fair to bail on the date straight up.
They’ve essentially announced to you that they have issues around self-confidence and that they deal with them by being dishonest to prospective partners. If it’s not that, they’re just compulsive liars, neither of which bodes well for the possibility of a healthy relationship.
3. Your Date Is Super Rude
Maybe your date ignores everything you say. Maybe some unfortunate xenophobia slips out, they’re rude to the waiter, or they make fun of your hobbies. Whatever it may be, having a long conversation with a relative stranger is often a situation that leads to two people realizing they’re just not a matchr due to conflicting personal beliefs.
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What to Do: It really depends on the severity of their rudeness. In some cases, you just wait out the evening, tell the person you had a great time, but also that you don’t think things are going to work out. In some cases, you might want to point out to them why what they’re doing is inappropriate as they’re doing it, but only if you’re game for the date to take a hard left. While educating people is a noble goal, your date is more likely to take advice of that nature from a trusted confidant than some random guy on a first date.
4. There’s No Chemistry
Sometimes, the person sitting across the table from you is attractive, nice, polite, and devoid of weird tics like yelling “9/11 was an inside job!” Even though they’re perfectly nice, there’s just … something else missing. Most of the time, that something is a little thing called “interpersonal chemistry.”
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What to Do: Dating can be nerve-wracking! If your date didn’t do anything wrong but just left you feeling a little bored, be as polite as possible about it. A boring date isn’t a lost battle. The two of you are not enemies, you’re a pair of scared fish in a giant ocean trying to figure things out. Just be clear that you’re not interested, and wish them the best. If you’re the perfect gentleman about it, who knows? Maybe your date has a single friend who’s more your type.
5. You Do Something Embarrassing
Ahh, the nightmare fodder. Whether you spill your drink all over yourself (or your date), throw up, or severely injure yourself, being hit with a wave of embarrassment on a first date can seem like the end of the world in the moment.
What to Do: This is counterintuitive, but the absolute best way to handle a situation like this is to own it. A person who laughs at their faults will be much more endearing than a person doing their absolute best to hide an embarrassing situation, and who seems completely unhinged as a result.
Depending on the exact nature of the situation, the date might be beyond saving. If you approach the situation with a sense of humor and a dose of your actual personality, that nightmare first date might just end up being a funny story you tell at your wedding a few years later.
6. Your Date Leaves Early
If you’re an average guy, a mid-date bail is your worst case scenario. It means things went so badly that your date decided they couldn’t stomach another minute of politely smiling at you. Their run for it is so much harsher than a pre-date ghost, since it implies that leaving was a much better option than staying on the date.
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What to Do: Whatever you do, don’t make a big deal about it. The situation is already awkward enough, so don’t compound it by sending angry messages or trying to track your date down “just to talk.” You risk looking like a psycho, and they will tell their friends about you.
It might be tough to swallow, but sometimes, the bad person on the date is … you. It takes a fair amount of self-confidence to recognize that and move on without getting too down. If your date really wants to communicate to you what went wrong, you’ll get a post-mortem message of some sort. If not, take your best guess, or maybe talk it over with some friends, and get back out there with someone else for next time.
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