Dating apps crack down on 'ghosting', as 'epidemic' of ignoring partners puts off users

  Dating Advice, Relationships
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Dating apps are cracking down on ‘ghosting’, as the practice of ignoring a potential partner after speaking to or going on a date with them is causing would-be romantics to delete their accounts.

As finding partners using apps becomes more popular, ‘ghosting’ is on the rise, as having seemingly infinite options makes it feel as though people are disposable, experts have said.

The app Bumble is trying to eliminate the behaviour altogether, by sending prompts to people who have not replied to messages, urging them to either politely end the conversation or continue it.

It has asked users to stop the practice, and to take a “ghosting vow” before they use the app, as well as providing support and advice to those who have experienced the behaviour. 

Dating app Badoo has implemented a similar strategy; if a user has not replied to someone after three days, Badoo will notify the user and provide reply suggestions. For those who are no longer interested in their match, they can simply choose to close the chat or use one of the polite responses, “Hey I think you’re great, but I don’t see us as a match. Take care!”.

Bumble has recruited an in-house ‘ghosting’ expert, Kate Leaver, who told The Telegraph: “I asked for stories of ghosting recently on Twitter and one woman said ‘which of the 73 times would you like to talk about?’ It’s disillusioning and yes, absolutely, I think it’s driving people to delete their dating apps. If we can address this sort of behaviour in the app itself, or make it less likely to happen, then hopefully people will feel more hopeful and comfortable continuing to use them.

“If you experience ghosting multiple times, it’s just strengthens this idea in your head that you’re unlovable. It can also feel like the dating scene is broken so why bother with it. That’s why we’re addressing it this way.”

Having multiple options on apps, with thousands of potential partners to swipe past and match with, has amplified the problem.

Leaver explained: “Social media, dating apps and apps of all kinds have made it much easier to do and spot.

“The culture of having access to so many people makes those relationships feel more disposable and there isn’t accountability on apps. They don’t feel like real life.”

Badoo’s in-house dating expert and psychologist, Claire Stott, believes that the use of apps to date has increased the behaviour.

She said:  “Ghosting has been going on forever, but apps have expanded the dating pool and created more opportunities for people to meet. Therefore the chances of being ghosted are higher. For anyone who finds themselves being ghosted, don’t assume that they stopped talking to you because you did something wrong. It’s a by-product of online dating rather than a reflection of you as a person.”

Leaver said there are definite mental health repercussions for those who have been ghosted. She explained: “The effects on them psychologically have been quite severe – in the absence of an explanation, as to why people have ended a relationship with you, you fill the gap with your own insecurities.”