Relationships Talk

Dear Annie: I thought my husband and I had a great marriage — until I looked on his phone and found text messages to another woman. I was crushed. I asked him about it, and he said that it was nothing and that there were only a few messages. When I checked our cellphone details, I was completely devastated to find that it had been going on for almost a year and there were almost 2,000 text messages during the past six months. When I talked to him about this and all the lies he had told me, he said he had lost his way and he was sorry and didn’t want to lose me.

We started counseling, but he doesn’t want to discuss the details of the text messages and did a factory reset on his phone so I can’t see the messages. He said it was not a sexual affair, but his actions just don’t convince me it was just text messages. Now he thinks we are fine and our marriage will go on, but I can’t stop myself from thinking about what he may have done that I don’t know about.

How can I ever trust him again? I don’t know whether I can, because he told me so many lies. This was going on for almost a year. How can I believe that it wasn’t sexual? I am trying to act as if we are OK, but inside I feel as if I am dying. Please help me to think this through. I need to figure out whether I should stay or go. I need some good advice.