Relationships Talk

Maybe he connects with readers because he’s been knocked so low.

Cut to Valentine’s Day, a rainy evening in 2000. David Elliott of La Mirada flies from Southern California to Michigan to see his fiance for a romantic dinner. He’s going to stay with her for a week and make some wedding plans. She’s wearing the engagement ring he’s given her (and, for which, he is still making payments).

He looks into her eyes, and she says …

“I’m sorry, I just can’t do this.”

Wait, what? “She dumped me at dinner,” said Elliott, who is now 44.

Elliott cracks up when he tells that story. That’s the kind of guy he is. He laughs at himself.

He’s also the kind of guy who, after he finally found love, got married, had a child and got divorced, would start his own advice website called singledadsguidetolife.com. As of this week, he has 4,860 followers. He writes about stuff that makes him laugh, from cookie recipes to fake news to Hollywood gossip to amusement park tips.

If you keep reading, you’ll see his top five pieces of advice for single dads.

By day, he is a mild-mannered librarian at the La Habra Public Library.

In his free time, he’s a voluminous blogger. He’s got crazy headlines like: “Ariana ‘Donut-Licker’ Grande Leaves Boyfriend With Substance Abuse Problem To Date A Pothead With Borderline Personality Disorder.  Makes Perfect Sense In La La Land” and “Do No Harm: A Review Of How To Not (expletive) Up Your Kids Too Bad.”

“I’m just a dad who’s dealing with divorced parenting issues,” Elliott said.

Finding his way

He went to Whittier Christian High School and he was good at math. So he thought he was going to grow up to be an engineer. Then the recession hit in 1991 and it didn’t look like there would be engineering or accounting jobs.

“I felt like I was a little bit lost,” Elliott said.

So he went to Berkeley and studied literature. Eventually, Elliott became a high school English teacher. There was a short detour where he worked as a movie projector operator, but that was just a short chapter of his life.

He thought he was going to marry and move to Michigan. Then the Valentine’s Day debacle happened.

In April 2004, Elliott went on ChristianCafe.com, a dating website. He asked a woman out on a date. She gave him an address so they could meet.

It turned out to be a laundromat. And she was with her brother. And they went and got something to eat at Jack-in-the-Box.

Elliott kind of liked that.

“I was curious,” Elliott said. “She seemed like somebody I want to get to know.”

The following May (2005), he married her. Their daughter, Bethany, was born April 14, 2006.

In 2013, the marriage fizzled. He doesn’t write about his ex-wife in his blog posts. That sounds like pretty good advice right there.

“We had two different ways of dealing with a crisis,” Elliott said. “She wanted to be alone. I didn’t.”

Outlet for fun

Elliott has Bethany every other weekend and on Wednesday nights.

As he started dating again, he was asked a very interesting question that he had never been asked before. “Can I Google you?” one of his dates asked.

The date was with a woman who was a blogger.

“She asked if I blogged,” he said.

They only dated once, but David Elliott’s life was changed.

He started reading all sorts of blogs about parenting and single lifestyle. He especially liked “Single Dad Laughing” by Dan Pearce. The website says, “We have a lot of fun around here.”

“I loved his openness and his vulnerability,” Elliott said.

Elliott wanted to have fun, too. So in January 2017, he started writing four blog posts per week.

When readers found him, “They said, ‘You’re funny. You have a voice.’”

He wrote about his love for eggnog and the movie “The Greatest Showman” and Star Wars. He wrote a guide for how to buy dads Christmas gifts – the top item being the completely impractical “Skywalker 12 Foot Jump and Dunk Trampoline.” That list also includes a meat thermometer, a desktop slingshot and a beer bottlecap display.

He’s got a sense of humor.

“My daughter finds me funny, but I’m still her dad,” Elliott said. Translation: His 12-year-old daughter tolerates his jokes. “My ex-wife hasn’t told me word-one about my blog. I have no clue whether she knows I do this or not.”

‘Dad humor’ and advice

Almost five years after his divorce, Elliott is seeing someone again. Guess what she does on the Internet?

“She’s been blogging longer than I have,” Elliott said.

Her name is Nessa Martinez and her website is BeautyGabbers.com.

“I think he’s a great storyteller,” Martinez said. “His writing has been really story-driven, and that’s where he excels so it’s fun to read his take on things. After knowing him for some time I can say his sense of humor has grown on me. He’s a dad, so he does excel in dad humor as well.”

And businesses have begun to notice he is growing an audience. He’s heard from Tommy John underwear, Legoland and Knott’s Berry Farm. He’s been invited to movie screenings.

The income from the blog is just beginning to trickle in.

“Ultimately, I’d like to earn some sort of income,” Elliott said. “But I’m just starting my journey.”

And if you’re a single dad, Elliott wants you to know something. “You’re not alone,” he said.

Here are his five top pieces of advice (and, this time, he’s not being funny):

1. Spend time with and love your kids.
2. Find a new self – something you love about you.
3. Don’t de-value yourself, especially to your children.
4. Don’t cut yourself off from the world.
5. There is something positive about spending time alone, especially if you use that time to grow.