Relationships Talk

The Sassy Housewife is a weekly advice column from Momaha.com. We will cover adventures in parenting, relationships and entertaining.

* * *

Dear Sassy Housewife,

My husband and I got divorced five years ago. We get along fine…helped along by wanting our kids, who range from late middle school to high school, to have a normal life despite us being divorced. I never really had an interest in dating in the years after we got divorced because I was focused on my children and just figuring out how to be single again.

I recently met someone and we have started going on dates. It’s been about three months. I’d like to tell my children but I’m not sure how to approach it. And do I tell my ex-husband? I’m nervous about both conversations.

How can I tell them? Or should I wait?

Signed,

Worried mom

***

Dear worried mom,

Kudos to you for getting back out there. I’m sure it’s not easy.

First off: You’ve been dating three months, which isn’t a very long time. Are you absolutely sure you want to introduce this person to your kids? It would be a shame to introduce him, only to call it off later if it doesn’t work out.

The thing to do might be to start by asking your children what they would think if you started dating again. You may want to start with your oldest. 

The kids might be upset at first, but they might also just completely accept it — given that you and your ex have been divorced for five years. It might be that they’ve been expecting it. You just never know what they’re thinking, which is why it’s important to talk to them about it.

Even if they’re upset when you tell them, they will get used to it and might even come to like this new person after they’ve gotten to know them. I can’t imagine they’ll be anything but happy for you to have someone in your life. No one wants to be alone.

As for your ex, I’d suggest telling him before he sees you with the new guy. I have no idea if your divorce was mutual or if it was one or the other who wanted it. If your ex is already dating someone, I wouldn’t be too worried about letting him know, as he’s already moved on. But if he isn’t, I’d definitely bring it up the next time you see each other and the kids aren’t around. Depending on how he took the divorce will help determine how gently you should break the news.

Overall, talk to your ex. And once you and your new friend have been seeing each other for a little longer, you’re sure it might go somewhere and you both are OK with bringing the kids into it, then I’d say go for it.

Good luck!

* * *

Have a question for The Sassy Housewife? Email it to momaha@owh.com.

Read more Sassy Housewife »