Relationships Talk

PEOPLE have asked me “what makes you the expert to give advice to straight guys on women” and I simply say that over the years, my girlfriends have told me their secrets.

They’ve told me their date stories and their sexual preferences in a far more graphic and candid fashion than they would ever say to a straight man.

Sam Dowler with his female celeb BFFs Vicky Pattison (left), Casey Batchelor and Jasmin Walia

Having seen mates of mine bomb out with dating and come to me saying, “I just don’t understand women, they’re all nuts!” I thought it was time to put together all these stories.

Having spent years listening to my best female friends talking about their men, I’m here to give men a few home truths about where exactly they’re going wrong and how they can rectify this for the greater good and peace on earth.

Well that last part maybe a stretch.

One of the main chapters in my book The Insider is about dating, from beginning to end. From first contact to final destination.

Here are a few key pointers that guys on the dating scene shouldn’t do without, so take note boys…

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Sam with his gal pals Lizzie Cundy and Ola Jordan

1. Lower your standards

This is a simple one and can make all the difference when it comes to dating success.

We all like to think that we’re a 7/8 and can bag an 8/9, which can come from past flukes when you’ve punched above your weight and actually succeeded or just a general sense of being Billy Big Balls from earlier in your life or your job.

Sure, if you’re a multi-millionaire, it doesn’t matter if you’ve got a face like a rotten turnip, but that’s not most of us.

Try to be realistic, you’ll be less frustrated and more successful and your dates will all be happier in the process.

Being confident is important, but not so confident that you think you’re Bruce Wayne as your date will spot that douchery a mile off and run for the hills.

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Sam is here to give straight guys the inside goss on women from a gay guy’s perspective

2. Keep clean

I’ve been criticised before for even bringing this up as it seems so patently obvious and I wish that were so.

Women love a guy to not necessarily smell like he’s been dipped in Dior but to smell nice, clean.

Wash your hair, wash your jeans, wear a clean shirt, brush your teeth, trim down there, have clean bed linen, use toe-nail clippers.

She doesn’t want to see your clawed hooves hanging out of the bed. That just isn’t on.

3. Mind your manners

Again, this seems obvious but it’s so easy to fall down if you take your eye off the ball.

Manners doesn’t just mean opening doors and pulling out a chair, that’s nice and all but it’s somewhat old fashioned.

I mean things like not saying, “You look better in your pics” or talking about how much you earn or the cars you do or don’t drive.

Don’t order the curry and several beers on the first date.

Don’t say: “Ooh you had the scallops, that’s an extra £3”. You get the gist.

Sam Dowler

Sam with Dua Lipa

4. Don’t speak on your date’s behalf

When I say this I don’t mean “I’ll have the steak and she’ll have the same” as this isn’t the 1950’s.

I mean that there’s no need to be such a modern man that you tell a woman when she’s supposed to be offended.

We all know what ‘mansplaining’ is but this is a new concept that a man can be so supportive that he’s just a pain in the a**e.

I’ve had men tell me off for speaking for women or it being anti feminist when, actually, women have had enough of being too PC.

They want a bit of naughtiness and don’t need a man to get all offended on their behalf.

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Sam with happily married Matt and Emma Willis

5. Drunk sex is not a good idea

If you manage to get this far then things are going well.

Make sure you’re not too drunk and unable to perform. Make sure she’s not too drunk, and if she is, make sure she’s home alone and safe.

Sex in this day and age is far more open, free and full of variations.

Find out what a person likes, what they are into and what they don’t like.

Sex isn’t a scary taboo anymore and while there’s no need to discuss yours or hers past conquests, going in with an open mind and an idea of what to expect can avoid a lot of embarrassment and trial and error.

• The Insider, by Sam Dowler, £9.99, WHSmith – Buy Now 

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