Get your bikini line tattooed, learn dirty talk and chase jailbird lovers: Lauren Goodger is launching a dating app – but …
LAUREN Goodger announced this week that she is launching her own dating app to find love for her fans… and herself.
But the 32-year-old Towie star has a history of being unlucky in love – and her advice over the years when it comes to romance has been slightly unusual.
Lauren Goodger is launching a new dating app to help her fans (and herself) find true love
So, ahead of her app launch, Sun Online is taking a look at all the romantic decisions Lauren has ever made to see if she really does know the path to true love – but would YOU follow her dating advice?
Lauren had her Towie co-star and ex-boyfriend Mark Wright’s name tattooed in an intimate area
Get your boyfriend’s name tattooed on your bikini line
Lauren was in a relationship with Mark Wright when the show first hit our screens all the way back in 2010 and in the opening scene, Amy Childs spotted Lauren’s tattoo of Mark’s name on her bikini line during a spray tan.
Lauren had Mark’s name tattooed on her
But while a tattoo is a permanent fixture, it soon became clear Lauren and Mark’s nine-year relationship was anything but that.
Then get it lasered off…
After he flirted his way through the whole Towie crew, their relationship came to an end and in March 2011, Lauren headed to a skin clinic to have Mark’s name removed from her crotch in an effort to erase him from her life.
The first two seasons of The Only Way Is Essex revolved around Lauren and Mark Wright’s relationship
Sell all reminders of your ex
Next up, she decided to sell anything that connected her to him.
First, the reality TV star sold the one-shouldered white frock she wore for her and Mark Wright’s engagement party for £800 on Depop describing it as, “comfortable for all occasions”.
Lauren loves selling mementos of her previous relationships once they are over
Then, when she first split with her jailbird beau Joey Morrison in 2017, Lauren sold their matching his ‘n’ hers Chanel trainers she’d bought him as a 2016 Christmas present, pricing them at £500 on Depop.
If in doubt, throw the sentimental stuff out.
Lauren has been determined to destroy her ex Mark Wright’s new relationship with Michelle Keegan
Don’t let your ex forget you
Lauren’s advice at the end of a relationship is to make sure you’re not forgotten.
Almost a year after it was announced that her ex Mark and his new love Michelle Keegan were set to wed, she posted a message on Instagram that read: “I’m not going to be the girl you marry, but I’ll be the girl you’ll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline.”
Mark and Michelle honeymoon-ed in Dubai
Ouch.
Then in 2017, Lauren told New magazine that she and Mark were dating at the same time as he was dating Michelle – claims which Mark was forced to deny.
Turn up to their honeymoon
And she even went as far as gatecrashing their honeymoon too, posting a shot of her holiday in Dubai, sipping a glass of champagne and sitting in front of a huge lobster dinner, at the same time that Mark was there on his honeymoon with Michelle.
Lauren was photographed in Dubai while Mark Wright and his new hubby Michelle Keegan were on their honeymoon
This sparked a Twitter row with Mark telling her to “respect” his new wife and finally “move on” from the couple’s 10 year on/off childhood romance.
Lauren likes to brag about how filthy she can be in the bedroom
Brag openly about being dirty in bed
In March 2017 the Towie starlet opened up about her steamy plans for when her jailbird boyfriend Joey Morrison got out of prison.
After revealing she’d been celibate for a year, Lauren told Closer magazine: “Joey’s going to be knackered when we’re finally alone because we’ll be very busy. There’s lots to do. I’ve been properly celibate for a year, but he’s worth the wait.”
Lauren Goodger and her jailbird ex Joey Morrison, whose name she has tattooed on her wrist
Don’t give up on love – even if he’s in jail
Dating someone who gets locked up for 16 years for possession of a firearm, kidnap and blackmail would be a big no for most, but not for Lauren.
She continued her relationship with Joey Morrison – who she met over the phone – for 15 months despite having to communicate with him from the opposite side of prison bars.
Their relationship came to an end in July 2017 following a furious row inside HMP Highpoint South.
But that wasn’t the end of it.
Lauren’s new dating app might help resurrect her love life
In September 2018, Joey was released after serving nine years of his sentence and Lauren took her former jailbird back – even though there were rumours that he had an account on dating app Bumble – which she claimed was fake.
On Instagram she wrote some very sage relationship advice: “It’s coming to the realization that your relationship is more important [than] your differences. It involves acts of forgiveness and acceptance of one’s mistakes.”
But not long after this Lauren discovered a mistake she couldn’t forgive – Morrison contacting other women from his prison cell – and dumped him once and for all.
She later penned on Instagram: ‘It’s going to be my time now. I’ve learned lessons! I’ve grown! I’ve changed over the years and I promise to never let myself down again!”