How To Tell If A Guy Likes You But Is Too Shy To Admit It
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There are ways to learn the truth …
I’ve always been a believer in dating advice based on the concept that if a guy likes a girl, he’ll make sure she knows it.
In practice, however, attraction, love and relationships aren’t always so simple.
Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have huge numbers of men and women feeling restless and especially confused on the subject of how to tell if a someone really likes you. And in general, dating ‘norms’ and gender stereotypes don’t typically go well for men who are more shy or introverted.
When a shy guy likes you, he may not show it in obvious ways like other men do for a wide variety of reasons, fear of rejection being just one of them.
And who can blame them? If you think dating is hard for women, remember that it’s just as hard out there for men.
In the early stages of courtship, they’re often the ones expected to do most of the work. And this can be especially tough when a guy is shy.
So how can you know if a guy likes you if he’s not the type of man who’ll just come out and say it?
Here are 3 signs to watch for if you want to know how to tell if a guy likes you and is just too shy to admit he may even be falling in love.
1. His body language and nonverbal communication
Even if a guy isn’t vocal about his feelings for you, his body and nonverbal gestures will make it known.
If you’re engaged in a conversation and his whole body is facing you, that’s a great sign.
Does he lean in a little when you chat, or try to find ways to get closer to you like choosing the seat beside you in a group setting? That’s a good one, too.
Do you catch him glancing at you when he thinks you’re not looking? Tick.
Does he find subtle ways to make physical contact, like lightly brush your arm with his or giving you a gentle hug to say hello?
If a guy is doing all or most of these things, chances are good that he’s interested.
2. The amount of effort he puts out
I often chat with male dating coaches so I can deepen my understanding of what dating is like from the “other” side. The feedback I get most often is that many women don’t seem to appreciate the effort it takes for men to approach and ‘woo’ them, especially in real life as opposed to over texts and DMs.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to approach a woman who catches his eye at the bar.
Rejection is never easy, and it takes confidence to take the leap of faith necessary to chat up a stranger despite the possibility of being turned down. When a man is shy, it’s 100 times harder.
If he’s be too shy to ask you out a on a date, he may make an effort to see you by suggesting you get together to hang out or do something casual. If a guy makes an effort to spend time with you, it’s a way he’s showing you his interest.
If he’s showing interest and you’re interested in him, too, reciprocate and let him know you’re excited to make it happen. This will encourage him to up the ante in his courtship of you from there.
3. The degree to which he reciprocates your shows of interest
Sometimes shy guys need a little encouragement that lets them know that if they do try making a move or asking you out, they won’t be rejected.
A guy who likes you but is shy will match your level of investment when it comes to dating.
For example, if you take the initiative and suggest hanging out, he’ll likely reciprocate. Same goes with texting. If you initiate a few flirty texts and he really does like you, there’s no doubt he’ll respond.
The key to getting a shy man to actively pursue you is to let him know you’re open to it, and that he won’t be rejected when he tells or shows you how he’s feeling.
Some men grow out of their shyness in time, while some don’t — and that’s OK.
Shyness can be an endearing personality that balances out a more outgoing, extroverted partner.
A guy who’s shy won’t stay that way with you once you develop a relationship. It’s likely he just need time to warm up and feel secure.
As with everything in life and relationships, it’s important to look at people and situations within the appropriate context.
If these signs feel and sound familiar, it’s likely that your shy guy is into you.
Iona Yeung is a dating and relationship coach who works with single women to identify their roadblocks in dating, attract the good guys, and communicate from a space of love and clarity. Visit her website for more information and to learn about her “Lucky in Love” 30-day challenge.
