Relationships Talk

When you’re writing the profile…

Break it up: The structure of your profile is very important, Pompey says. “People have very quick attention spans, so break your profile into two to three sentence mini-paragraphs at most,” he says. Online daters tend to skim profiles for information at first and then go back to read the whole thing if they’re interested. So having short paragraphs — maybe one dedicated to your hobbies, one to your career, and one to where you want to travel — makes it easier to skim.

Be conversational: If you can write your profile almost as if you’re speaking directly to the people who are reading it, that will make it feel as if they’re really getting to know you, Pompey says.

Open with an attention grabber: “The beginning of the profile is your chance to instantly draw someone into who you are and what you’re all about,” Pompey says. So lead with something unique or interesting about you (bonus points if it’s funny).

Add “profile bait”: What Pompey calls “profile bait” is anything that makes it easier for the people reading your profile to think of an opening line when they message you. “So if I’ve been talking about traveling, I might say at the end of that sentence, ‘Where’s on your bucket list these days?’ and that baits the reader into starting the conversation,” he says.

Write with words of confidence: “A lot of people accidentally use language that makes them appear needy or a desperate or seem like they’re disgruntled,” Pompey says. For example, writing something like “I hope to meet someone who’s intelligent, ambitious, and fun” seems totally fine. But the word “hope” is passive. It’s better to write, “The perfect guy for me would be intelligent, fun…,” he says, because it’s more assertive. In general, be positive. List what you want in a partner and avoid self-deprecating jokes.