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Q: I’m a married man, late-30s, with two children, living thousands of miles from the woman I adore. She’s a few years older, living in North America, and doing business in my country every couple of months.
I met her through business and admire her greatly. We think alike, get along perfectly, help each other with contacts and sales. We’re a perfect, successful team. She’s met my wife and children who like her.
Back off. You have the best of a relationship that’s important to you both, as is, writes Ellie. (Richard Lautens / Toronto Star)
I’ve told her I love her. She’s only said, “You’re married, we live in different parts of the world.” I know for sure that she’s not married. I think she has a boyfriend at home, but doesn’t say. How can I find out if we have a future together?
Hopeful
A: Your future is in the business arrangement. If you push for a romantic connection, too, you may ruin the one that’s working.
She’s wisely diplomatic by not responding directly to your words of love. She’s protecting your business tie. And she’s respecting your marriage.
Back off. You have the best of a relationship that’s important to you both, as is. Like they say in the movies, it’s business, not personal.
Q: I’m all for the cannabis legislation, as I believe people who want to use drugs will always find a way. Now, there’s some quality control (I hope) so less chance of dangerous additives. It’ll also bring revenue and keep the money from criminals.
However, what bothers me are the effects on some people. My sister used from young teens to now, at age 66. Instead of dealing with life or acting responsibly she’d use the escape of drugs — always complaining about her life instead of doing something about it. She’s been able to function, but never well.
Cannabis Concerns
A: Cannabis affects some users differently from others, and youth is a factor in its effects, which is why I stress that its use before age 25 — the age when brain development is considered completed — is problematic and potentially very dangerous.
According to Ruth Ross, a cannabis researcher at the University of Toronto, and chair of the faculty of medicine’s pharmacology and toxicology department, much still remains unknown about the health effects of cannabis.
As quoted in News@UofT’s November issue, Ross explained that cannabis acts on the body’s endocannabinoid system — part of our natural receptors and signals that control certain processes in our body.
The system is separate from anything to do with cannabis, but, Ross notes, “it just happens that THC (tetrahydrocannabinol, the main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis) also binds to these receptors, many of which are in different parts of your brain.”
In an interview, Ross said, when you take THC, it affects appetite, but also simultaneously affects lots of other brain areas that affect how you think and feel.
Things affect different people in very different ways depending on their genetics, their physiology, the dose or whether they’ve used before.
For me, her most significant statement was this: “With cannabis, there’s a lot of unanswered questions, particularly in this new landscape of high doses and the potential of combining alcohol and cannabis.
“In the 1960s or 1970s, the THC content of cannabis was around three to five per cent; now, it can be over 20 per cent or even 60 per cent in some edibles.”
Your sister may’ve had a different life if she hadn’t used in her teens, when even lower-dose THC had a strong impact on her behaviour and life choices.
Ellie’s Tip of the Day
Don’t ruin a great business partnership by pushing emotions that aren’t reciprocated.
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