Relationships Talk

The Momsens have gone platinum.

They’re not a band and it’s not an album; they’re a couple and it’s a marriage.

Yvonne and Bob Momsen held hands as their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren toasted their 70th wedding anniversary during a family dinner party at the Pool and Yacht Club in Lilydale on Saturday night.

“You can check that off your bucket list,” said Corey Momsen, their 21-year-old grandson, with a smile.

Most of us will never be able to check off a platinum anniversary on our own bucket lists, but the Momsens — now both 89 — were just 19 when they eloped Sept. 11, 1948.

The Mendota Heights couple — born just four days apart in August 1929 — were high school sweethearts at St. Paul’s Central High School in the 1940s.

“We met at the end of our junior year,” said Yvonne. “We had chemistry class together.”

Sparks flew, even outside of class.

“I didn’t know how to play bridge and he didn’t know how to dance,” Yvonne said. “So we agreed that he’d learn to dance and I’d learn to play bridge.”

Somewhere between the bridge game and the dance floor, they fell in love.

For Bob and Yvonne and the rest of the class of 1947 — who began high school during World War II — dating could be a challenge.

“We worked and we volunteered,” Yvonne said. “And, because gas was rationed, we didn’t just double date, we triple dated or quadruple dated. If somebody got a car, there’d be eight of us in the car — we didn’t have seat belts back then.”

No seat belts — and no smartphones. The teens connected offline in those days.

“We’d have lots of picnics in Highland Park,” said Yvonne. “We’d have wiener roasts and sing around the fire.”

After graduating, Bob crossed the river to study at the University of Minnesota while Yvonne stayed in St. Paul to attend Macalester College.

The distance couldn’t keep them apart.

“I proposed to her under the bell at Macalester,” said Bob.

“He said, ‘Yvonne, I think it’s time we get married,’ ” said Yvonne.

“Lucky for me,” said Bob, “she said yes.”

It wasn’t shocking for teenagers to get married back then.

“A good share of our class all got married early,” said Bob. “A lot of our friends went into the service and got married before. It was not unusual.”

It also wasn’t unusual to elope after the war.

“Things were different back then,” said Yvonne. “It was 1948. My folks were building a house out in Hastings. People didn’t have much money. The majority of our friends were going that route. Seemed like a good idea.”

It was a Sunday in September when the teenagers wed at a church in Minneapolis.

“It was very warm,” Yvonne recalled of their wedding day. “We just went over to the church and the minister married us. The couple who made the arrangements for us stood up for us. And that was it.”

When Bob and Yvonne told their parents that they had gotten married, no one was surprised.

“They expected it,” Yvonne said.

The celebration came later.

“A few months later, my folks’ house was finished, and my mom wanted to have the reception down in Hastings, and that’s what happened,” said Yvonne. “And you know, back in those days, you just had cake and punch and coffee. You didn’t have a $1,300 band or a $100-a-plate dinner.”

It was more important to focus on finding housing — which was difficult at that time.

“We finally found one room in an apartment in a house on Iglehart,” says Yvonne. “That’s all you could get after the war.”

The newlyweds shared that apartment with two other couples.

“We had a schedule for the bathroom,” Yvonne said with a laugh.

Eventually, the couple would need more room — a lot more room: Bob began working in advertising at the Pioneer Press and its afternoon paper, the St. Paul Dispatch, in 1950, eventually serving as a vice president, while Yvonne managed their home life in St. Paul. There was much to manage with their five children — Bill (now 69, born a year after the wedding), Beverly (67), Brad (64), Bonnie (61) and Brian (53) — as well as the couple’s growing roles as community leaders and volunteers.

Through the years, that has included involvement in and support of everything from the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra to the St. Paul Winter Carnival.

“My parents have contributed selflessly to St. Paul for most of their lives through their passions and love for the city and its people that was rooted in my dad’s love for the paper,” wrote Brad Momsen in an email.

Bob and Yvonne included their whole family in their community roles. At home, that meant company — from the neighbor kids to ad clients.

“Everyone was welcome at our table,” said Bonnie Momsen Brill. “My dad could have gone to the bar for a drink with a client, but instead he’d call my mom at 3 and say, ‘We are having the Applebaums over for dinner.’ And she would put on a wonderful dinner and find a way to connect everyone over that table.”

The Momsens were a crew — or a Krewe, if you speak Winter Carnival.

“We were the Vulcan Krewe of ’72,” Momsen Brill said. “We were called the Family Krewe of ’72. That probably illustrates how we grew up as a family — it wasn’t just about us as individuals.”

At home, the Momsen kids witnessed a marriage in which the adults treated each other with respect and affection.

“It’s clear that they celebrate each other,” Momsen Brill said.

Even now, Bob and Yvonne still hold hands and give each other credit for their successful partnership.

That partnership extended to the dance floor.

“Those two could dance like no other two people could dance,” said Brad Momsen. “They were completely in synch.”

Bob and Yvonne have hung up their dance shoes, but they still play bridge.

What a long match it has been.

“We are in awe of your staying power,” said Beverly Momsen during a visit at the couple’s Mendota Heights townhome last week. “You’ve been through a lot. It hasn’t been easy, sometimes, but you are very strong. You are both good role models for your kids. Against all odds, getting married at 19, and here you are, 70 years later, that is something to shout out and celebrate. We’re just very proud of you and love you.”

What marriage advice do the couple have for today’s newlyweds?

“Don’t give up,” said Yvonne. “People give up so quickly now.”

“Understand each other as best you can,” Bob says. “Work out the issues. Love your children, if you have them. And, at the end of the day, we never go to sleep without saying, ‘I love you.’”

The Momsens got to see the ripple effect of that love when they celebrated their anniversary dinner with their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren last weekend.

“You have, all together, individually and collectively, been the joy of our life,” said Bob as he held hands with Yvonne. “The way you respect and love each other is more important to us than anything else we could ever do.”