Relationships Talk

Linda Murphy Lifestyle Editor @HNFastFood

There’s no doubt it takes a lot of energy, patience, humor, and a bottomless well of love to be a mother. Cooking meals, shuttling the kids around to school, sports, lessons, shopping, kids’ birthday parties and other events are pretty much on every mom’s weekly to-do list.

Celebrating when their kids do well, doling out pep talks when things don’t work out and being there for those really awful times are just a sampling of the ways moms are expected to know just the right thing to say at just the right time.

I was fortunate to have a mother who was wise in understated ways, who did a stellar job of walking that fine mom line between friend, disciplinarian, and 24-hour therapist to a family of five kids with a 12-year age range — all dealing with different stages of growing pains all at the same time.

When I was in high school and got caught trying out pot with my friends, my mother’s response was unexpected, to say the least. She took me to the bakery for an after-school snack and simply said, “Wouldn’t you rather spend that money on clothes?” (My father’s response was a bit more along the lines of the world is coming to an end, I might add.) While it was more of a question, than traditional advice, it showed that she realized I, like most kids, was going to try things and she had confidence that I’d figure it out.

She was right, and I saved up to buy my first pair of Joan and David boots at Ann Taylor. Of course, that started my boot addiction….

As we celebrate mothers today, I asked friends and family on Facebook what was the best, worst or funniest advice your mother ever gave you? Here are some of their responses, edited for clarity:

Colin Furze: I’m gonna say, “Don’t put that in your mouth.”

Sharon Jussaume: “Someday you’re going to have a child just like you.” And I did.

Linda Viveiros: “’I don’t know’ never gets you in trouble.”

Jo Goode: “Don’t get married, you don’t have the personality for it.” She would deny she said that, but she did.

Deborah Allard Dion: “Never sit on a public toilet, you’ll get crabs!!”

Emely Varosky: When I’ve been stuck deciding if I should go out of my way for someone who might not even appreciate it, she says, “You’ll never regret being kind to someone.”

Kathy Singleton: When I would say to her that I can’t wait for life to get back to normal, her comment was, “The sooner you realize there is no normal in life, the happier your life would be!”

Cheryl Furze: “Always have more than one best friend.” I’m blessed with eight; four of them since kindergarten; met the other four at junior high school. Still get together frequently. Might I add, the gang of eight will be 72 this year.

Rose Carvalho: “Always make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you get into an accident.”

Stacy Silva-Boutwell: My mother always said, “It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man.” (I didn’t listen.)

Martha Ellen: “If you really want someone to listen and hear you, just whisper.”

Anne Sirois: “Pray with your heart, not with your lips.”

Susan Pawlak-Seaman: “Stay out of the sun. It will give you wrinkles.” I hated being the palest kid around but mostly I listened … and decades later, I’m glad I did.

Kathy Castro: “ALWAYS keep your friends! Don’t give them up when you get married.” Very good advice for me!!!!!!

Amy Marie Blanchette: An older mom friend of mine that I worked with at St. Anne’s told me after getting married, “Just smile and say ‘Yes, Dear,’ they’ll get the point.” And whenever I want to react in a hasty manner, that’s what I say — works like a charm.

Joyce Faria Brennan: Dating advice: “Don’t eat blueberry pie on a date, it makes your teeth blue.”

Joan L’Homme: “Do your very best in school and get all A’s, you’ll be able to get scholarships.” Education was of the utmost importance to our parents of Lebanese descent. Good advice.

Jackie Kifer: My mom wanted me to go far in life, so her advice was, “Wherever you go, there you are.” I’ve always followed that advice, and find it to be true.

Email Linda Murphy at lmurphy@heraldnews.com.