Relationships Talk

“I didn’t expect to have so much fun on the football team,” Tessa said.

The journey for the 5-foot 3-inch cheerleader-turned-football-player hasn’t been easy.

“I knew it was going to be hard,” she said. “It was that intensity level I was expecting. … I feel like after this I’m going to be a better athlete.”

But, she added, “I’m scared to mess up; I want my team to be the best it can be.”

Once football season is over, No. 33, whose long, brown pony tail extends from the back of her helmet, will return to cheerleading for the winter competition season and then play on the school’s Ultimate Frisbee Club in the spring, where her role is similar to the one she has on the football team.

The 16-year-old has been involved in sports since she was little, her mother Kristen Kucharski said.

“We have every racquet, cleat, ballet slipper, ball, shoe or whatever you can think of,” she said.

But when her daughter approached her about playing football in middle school, Kucharski said she was a bit apprehensive.

It was less about Tessa’s physical ability than the possibility she wouldn’t be accepted socially by her peers. “It’s a shocking time of life,” Kucharski said.

Mom assumed her daughter would forget about football once she got involved in other activities in high school.

Tessa didn’t forget.

Varsity coach Bill Ellinghaus said when Tessa reached out to him last January about the possibility of joining the football team in the fall, he urged her build up her strength to handle tackling.

That meant joining the boys at 5:45 a.m. for conditioning workouts four times a week. Tessa followed through, missing only a few early morning sessions, Ellinghaus said.

While girls frequently have tried out for the football team, most quit before the season starts, he said.

Throughout the history of Indian Prairie School District 204, only three girls have been rostered on a high school football team: two at Neuqua Valley (Tessa included) and one at Waubonsie Valley, according to Louis Lee, assistant superintendent for the high schools.

Tessa would follow up conditioning with summer football camps and worked out in pads in August alongside her teammates. “She was with us all summer,” Ellinghaus said. “I’ve got to give it to her.”

Ellinghaus did notice some of the players at first didn’t want to run her over in practice. “I had to pull them aside and tell them we need to treat her like everyone else,” he said.

Even though Tessa’s a foot shorter than some of the players, Ellinghaus said he treats her as he would any other smaller athlete, making sure to pair her against comparable athletes for tackling drills or one-on-one in games.

Kristen Kucharski said her daughter’s safety is always on her mind, both on and off the field.

In cheerleading, girls don’t wear headgear or pads when they’re tossed into the air, she said. One missed catch can cause broken bones or a concussion.

“I think my odds are better with football,” Kucharski said.

What makes her mother most proud is how the fellow players coach her on the sidelines and how the coaches give her tips, all accepting Tessa regardless of her gender.

“It’s not just about a girl,” Kucharski said, but about how the team fosters her spirit and her dream of playing football.

Neuqua Valley Principal Bob McBride said the school encourages students to pursue a variety of activities and works to accommodate them where necessary.

In Tessa’s case, when the team is on the road the athletic director alerts the opposing school of the need to have a separate space for Tessa to dress.

McBride said schools either have a girls locker room or locker room for officials where Tessa can change before and after the game.

The principal said the concept of inclusion is incorporated into the school curriculum and ingrained in the staff, students and parents throughout the school year.

Tessa admits there were times she thought she’d never be accepted by her teammates. A big turning point was during a game when Tessa proved she could follow through with all the hard work.

“I made a good tackle,” Tessa said. “Everybody cheered. I felt pretty accepted.”

Two games into the season, Tessa says she’s one of the guys.

“They don’t treat me as a girl,” she said. “I don’t want to be treated any different.”

Tessa acknowledges there’s a different dynamic between playing on a team of boys versus girls, particularly when a football teammate intentionally belches or passes gas to get a rise out of her. Tessa says she’s unfazed.

That said, she says she doesn’t always feel comfortable bringing out her geek side. “I can be more of myself with my girls,” she said.

Despite that, playing on an all-boys team has given Tessa the chance to share her knowledge of the female psyche with teammates, some of whom might need dating advice or a better understanding of how girls think, particularly with the homecoming dance coming up on Sept. 29.

Tessa’s all set up for that, planning to attend with a Waubonsie football player.

Her mother says don’t be fooled by her daughter’s occasional tough exterior.

“Tessa’s all girl. She likes to get dressed up and curl her hair,” Kucharski said.