No magic waiting time
Click Here for the Post https://thebrunswicknews.com/opinion/advice_columns/no-magic-waiting-time/article_9f902f66-9d9a-523a-9861-184935180e4d.html
Dear Dr. Wallace:
I’m 19, and my guy is 22. We have been dating for five months, and we want to get married soon because we know that we love each other very much. My parents like him, but they don’t want us to get married because they think we haven’t known each other long enough. They want us to wait until spring of 2019. My mom and dad do like my boyfriend, but they feel it would be better if we spent time getting to “really” know each other. How long do you think a couple that is “deep” in love should know each other before saying, “I do?”
— Smitten, via email
Dear Smitten: There’s no magic waiting period, though the average is probably about a year. Successful marriages result from both long and short engagements. Basically, the amount of time a couple should wait depends on their level of maturity; the less mature they are, the more likely they might be making an impulsive, ill-considered decision. Marriage will be a great test of one’s patience and shouldn’t be embarked on for the sake of immediate gratification.
Why be in such a hurry? Waiting a little longer, as your parents suggest, should not be a problem if your man really is the right choice as your life partner. If the two of you are really in love, this love will survive through the “getting to know you” phase of the engagement, in which you have long serious discussions about what each of you wants for the future, how many children (if any) you want, and much, much more.
Dear Dr. Wallace: I dated a guy for over a year, until his family moved to Maine. That’s a long way from California. When he left, he said we would stay in touch by email and the telephone. But he has been gone for 10 months, and so far, all I’ve received from him are three very short, “Hi, how are you?” emails.
I tried calling him on numerous occasions, but he never answers and he never returns my calls. I haven’t dated since he left, but now I don’t want to sit at home waiting to get a message from him. Should I email him and tell him our relationship is over, or just stop contacting him altogether?
— Lonesome, Redwood City, California
Dear Lonesome: Ten months of minimal contact is a pretty clear message. He likely is caught up in his new life and therefore is emotionally out of yours. It’s time for you to start living your life as though you will never see him again. In other words, start dating and have fun. Don’t contact him unless you respond to his call, text or email. The good news is that you’re about to have a great life without him!
