Our unlucky-in-love girl gets back into British men — but only on paper
JUST once I’d like to get through an online date without picturing what I’ll eat when I get home.
Pete was a Hinge find and he seemed my type on paper.
Tinderella met Pete on Hinge a web developer she had mates in common with and they shared same taste in movies and music
Yes a web developer (nobody’s perfect) . . . but we had mates in common and the same taste in movies and music.
But I should have known we weren’t a match when he gave me a rollicking for ignoring a message from him.
We first got chatting in April but then I got busy at work and, well, I ghosted him.
A month and a half later, he sends a reminder hi.
Tinderella needed wake-up sex, weekend sex, just-back-from-work sex . . . not a bi-annual holiday shag Hence Pete.
Fresh from having my underseat storage inspected by moped mogul Daniel in Spain, I replied.
Yes! I thought. It’s time to get back into British men.
I need wake-up sex, weekend sex, just-back-from-work sex… not a bi-annual holiday shag. Hence Pete.
He really made me work for this date and I secretly loathed him for it before we even met.
I explained I’d taken a break from online dating apps and was sorry to go AWOL. He replied: “Oh, shame you didn’t warn me.
“Came across a bit rude to be honest.”
I apologised again and suggested we finally get that drink we mentioned. He fired back: “It would be good to see if we’ve got anything in common first.
“I don’t have time to meet every single person I match with on online dating services, so I prefer to check the above before meeting.
A new study shows we decide if we fancy someone in the first 15 minutes of a date but Tinderella thinks it’s closer to 15 seconds after an encounter with web developer Pete
“I’d rather have a pleasant date with no chemistry, than an unpleasant one because you have nothing in common.”
I vaguely knew he was right. Sighing at what a practical bastard life often is, I messaged him.
“OK that makes sense. Fire over that questionnaire!” He messaged back: “They’re on my profile. I made a short list.” Urgh.
I find said questions about my life, career, hopes dreams and grit my teeth as I elaborate.
Two weeks later, we meet at the pub and it’s almost instantly a write-off. A new study shows we decide if we fancy someone in the first 15 minutes of a date.
I reckon it’s closer to 15 seconds – I decided Pete wasn’t my man the second he kissed me hello.
Tentative, awkward, lipless – it was like a peck at Christmas from the vicar.
My ovaries shrivelled, my womb switched over to Foyle’s War and my clitoris went to bed with a good book instead.
An hour later, I’m nursing a rum and Coke as he tells me about his job. “So they said I couldn’t work from home but basically I told Ian I was working from the Worthing office that week and then… ”
Mmmm, Pringles. Classic Pringles with a chicken baguette.
Maybe get a bit of avo in there. And lots of butter. Mmmm.
“ . . . so this whole week I’ve just been hanging out at my flat and none of them have a clue.”
I feel like I don’t have a clue either. How do women do this?