Relationships Talk

SHEBOYGAN – At the center of Audrey and Roger Otten’s relationship is faith, a commitment to loving one another despite disagreements and daily hugs.

The Sheboygan couple has been married for 64 and a half years.

That’s almost three times the amount of time I’ve spent on this earth.

Not only that, between the two of them, they have served 50 years on Sheboygan city government. And they have not always agreed on what was best for their city or their respective districts. Yet, here they are 64 years of marriage later.

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It helps that Audrey and Roger have basically known each other their entire lives.

“We both went to Christian grade school. Same class, all through to 8th grade,” Audrey told me when I sat down with them one afternoon.

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Although friends throughout, the pair parted ways come high school. Roger went to Sheboygan North High School and Audrey went to Central (now South).

Roger went away to college after high school, but it was after he came home from his first year that the two began dating. It was 1950, and the pair had gone to a choir party at their church.

“That was the first of our dating–after him taking me home from that,” Audrey said shyly with a backward flick of her wrist. She and Roger shared a quick, warm smile. 

Old fashioned letters

It wasn’t “happily ever after” for the pair after they started dating though.

“I went to service in 1951,” Roger explained. “I was gone for almost two years.”

Even though he was away fighting in the Korean War, the two stayed in touch.

“We had letters and one telephone call during that time,” Audrey said.

I gained a bit of insight as to how they lasted so long from this anecdote. 

“We didn’t get married until we were 23. And having two years in service, we got to write to each other,” Audrey revealed. “You get to know each other pretty good that way. I think that helped us.”

When Roger came home, they didn’t waste any more time and got married in 1954. Following the wedding, they remained in Sheboygan. They got a house, had five kids and raised them in a home where every day they showed them the value of loving one another.

Their children, Cindy, Russ, Scott, Jeff and Sherry all now have their own lives and their own stories. They produced 20 grandkids for Audrey and Roger and those grandkids produced 34 great grandkids. 

Throughout the interview, the pair circled back to the same phrase over and over: “We’ve been blessed.”

Their faith plays a central role in their long relationship.

“I think a lot of prayer and knowing Christ is our savior. That’s the glue,” Roger said. The pair still go to church every Sunday.

“I think we both have the same goals for us and for our family,” Audrey said.

This dedication to their Christian faith is what also helped them get through any and all disagreements throughout their political careers.

Roger is serving his 30th year on the Sheboygan County Board this year. Prior to that he was an alderman for eight years starting in 1970. Although no longer in the role, Audrey served as an alderwoman for Sheboygan’s 8th district for 12 years from 1990 to 2012.

They did not always agree on issues affecting the community.

“There were times when I’d say to him, ‘That’s not how you should vote.'” He’d say, ‘Why?’ and I would explain,” Audrey said. “We don’t always have to agree.”

It’s not just politics either. Six days of the week, the pair get up early and go to the YMCA and swim. 

“He doesn’t like to get out of bed,” Audrey said. “So it’s not a big disagreement. I could take my own car, but then he probably wouldn’t come, so I wait.”

Roger chuckled at his wife’s teasing.

No matter the disagreement, the pair has always come back to their similar goals and worked through whatever issue was at hand.

“We really like to see things from a Christian perspective. We feel we need more Christians in government. That’s really why we serve,” Roger said. “We love our community.”

Throughout, the pair would say the same thing or finish each other’s sentences.

“I think we talked a lot about issues…” Roger started.

“…at the dinner table,” Audrey finished.

Visible love is key

The pair stressed the importance of doing activities together on a regular basis.

“We love to make a puzzle together,” Audrey said. Every night they play a game together or do Sudoku puzzles. 

“I think it has to be evident that you love each other,” Roger said. The pair hold hands and are very affectionate.

They are happy that the idea of visible love has transferred to their kids and now their grand and great grandkids.

“What do I need from you every day?” Audrey asked Roger.

“A hug,” Roger answered without hesitation.

“I need my hugs,” Audrey said with a simple shrug of her shoulders.

If you think you have an interesting love story or know a couple with an interesting love story, let us know. Lowkey Lovesick is written by Marina Affo. She can be contacted at maffo@sheboyganpress.com or on twitter @marina_affo. 

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