Relationships Talk

Dating can be hard, and finding someone to date can be even harder, especially in a big college like the University of Georgia. Dating apps have become an option for people to meet more people in a less conventional way, and the negative stigma behind these apps are changing.

Perhaps the views behind dating apps are changing because people have become more exposed to the idea of it. According to the Pew Research Center in 2005, a lot of people did not know much about online dating, and those who did thought online dating was not a great way to date.

However, by 2015, the PRC found the attitudes towards online dating blossomed to be more positive. The researchers attributed the change to be because more people now know more people using dating apps, and so people are more accustomed to the idea.

Whether people admit it or not, 60 percent of people in the United States between the ages of 18 to 29 have used a dating app at some point in the lives, and that percentage is just getting larger. By 2020, the online dating market is predicted to grow up to $12 billion.

Before, a dating app like Tinder might be referred to by college students as a hookup only app. As more people started serious relationships with someone they found on these apps, the stigma behind these so-called “hookup apps” is slowly dissolving.

Tinder tweeted on August 2015, “Tinder users are on Tinder to meet people for all kinds of reasons. Sure, some of them — men and women — want to hook up.”

Many people disagreed with this statement, saying that most people, not just some, were looking for something less serious.

Tinder and other dating apps have of course been noted as a platform for non-dating relationships. However, sometimes college students are not looking for anything serious, but that isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, a study of 200 college students found that 53 percent of Tinder and other dating app users are using the apps to find friends.

The survey found the majority of the users have never gone on a date with anyone on the app and just wanted to find friends through the apps. Surveys like this one show that the ways college students are using online dating apps are also changing.

Dating apps are not always a good thing, however. It can be frustrating to match with a person, get along with them and then find out they something different from the relationships. Also, apps like Tinder and Bumble can be seen as shallow because people either swipe right or left on a person’s profile based off of their pictures without ever bothering to get to know them as a person.

Online dating has its pros and cons, but it is definitely what one makes of it. In a Brit + Co article titled, “Pro Matchmakers Share Their Best Advice for Dating App Rookies,” the author gives dating app advice, such as not taking anything too seriously and not limiting yourself.

While online dating can be a good tool to meet a significant other or even a friend, it is not the only way to do that, so people should not limit themselves to just dating apps. Perhaps, the key is to giving the dating app a shot and figuring out for oneself whether or not it is the best thing for them.

Karan Johar hosted Varun Dhawan and Katrina Kaif for his fourth episode of Koffee with Karan. The TV hour was filled with laughter and several revelations about the two stars. Did you know that Varun loves to eat cold pizzas at night? And that Katrina finds love in pancakes? Well, you know that now! Also, both have a lot of faith in Arjun Kapoor as a friend. When KJo asked Katrina who she thinks is a better friend – Varun or Arjun – she chose Arjun and Varun said Arjun too. Katrina also admitted that she makes fashion mistakes often and she just can’t get her airport look right.

If you missed Sunday’s episode, here are the juicy bits:

Varun makes his relationship official

It was an open secret in the industry that Varun has been dating fashion designer Natasha Dalal for quite some time. When Karan asked about her on the show, Varun admitted that they are dating and that he intends to marry her someday. When Karan asked Katrina about marriage, Varun added that Katrina has done a lot for herself, and that itself should be celebrated.

Katrina’s dating advice

When Karan asked her about her relationships and being single, she said that she was in a good space. She added that sometimes people in relationships depend a lot on others for happiness, which is bad for both the people in the relationship. She laughed off the serious conversation saying that the last single actress of her generation was giving love advice!

Varun wants equal pay for his co-stars

Varun revealed on the chat show that he and Katrina are doing a movie together. He also said that he has asked Katrina to demand more pay for her work in Bollywood. In fact, he has asked the producers of their upcoming movie for equal compensation for both the stars. He added that if Katrina’s compensation is lesser than his, he won’t do the movie.

Katrina’s misconception about Varun

Katrina had mentioned in the previous season of KWK that Varun and Arjun had started a hate club for Katrina because she didn’t show any interest in them. Denying the allegation, Varun said that they were angry because Salman Khan gave all his attention to Katrina instead of to them. Both the young actors used to hang out with Salman but that stopped when Katrina came into the picture

Karan will have an ‘emotional’ moment at Varun’s wedding

Speaking about weddings in the industry, Karan said that he will have an emotional moment at Varun’s wedding because he will feel as if he is giving away his son. Karan had launched Varun in Bollywood with Student Of The Year in 2012.

Salman’s guest appearance

As Varun will start working with Katrina Kaif, he asked Salman for advice on the dos and don’ts of working with the actress. Salman had quite a lot to say about his co-star. He added that Katrina rehearses for six hours everyday and will do so starting 20 days before the shoot begins. When you work with her, you cannot come to the sets and say you will learn the steps; you need to be thorough with your part while dancing with the actress, said Salman. He also added that she knows a lot of films, cinematography, direction and, strangely, medicine.

Varun does not want to swap careers with anyone

When asked who would Varun switch his career with, Ranbir or Ranveer, Varun said no one. He pointed out that both the stars have had flops in their career whereas Varun has never had one. Varun was last seen in Judwaa 2.

Two times when Varun gets emotional

Karan had compiled a video of Varun’s parents talking about his antics as a child. Varun added that there are only two instances when he cries — when he makes his parents proud and when he sees his brother Rohit playing with his (Rohit’s) daughter.

Katrina shops off people

Katrina’s friends had a lot to say about the actress too! Her gym trainer Yasmin Karachiwala said that she has a habit of taking people’s things If she likes them. Yasmin added that Katrina constantly takes clothes from her gym wardrobe. Varun agreed with them and said she had taken his sunglasses when they were in Dubai. Her friends added that Katrina loves pancakes and can eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Katrina and Varun both like Rajkummar Rao

When asked about which new age actor they like, both Varun and Katrina said that they like Rajkummar Rao. Rao was last seen in the horror-comedy Stree and known for his performances in movies like Newton, Shahid and Trapped Katrina also mentioned that she would like to work with Vicky Kaushal as they would look good together.

All my friends are breaking up.

It’s the age of it, I suppose. Like balayage or hot yoga. My friends and I are all hurtling towards Saturn’s return, so sooner or later something phenomenal was bound to happen in our lives. Some of them are switching careers. One has taken up extreme long distance running with all the solemnity of a priest. But most of my friends’ Saturns are barging through their front doors with the express purpose of causing their relationships to fall spectacularly apart.

Not me. I have been single for so many years that they’ve all begun to blend into each other like a melted tub of neapolitan ice cream. It’s probably why my friends who have broken up, and there have been so many of them recently, end up sitting in my flat, cradling my wine glasses between their hands, talking to me and not to any number of our other friends.

I’m single. It’s what I do, it’s what I’ve almost always done. And over the (many) years that I’ve been doing it, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I’ve done every difficult experience, every table-for-one in foreign cities, every lonely coaster up at the bar, every single movie ticket, every countdown to midnight on New Year’s Eve, every uneven place-setting at a wedding reception on my own. At this point, I’m pretty much the Oprah of being on your own.

The other day I sat outside at a cafe with a friend of mine who had just broken up with her partner of several years, someone she had crossed the world to start a life with. Together, they had begun building something, brick-by-brick. And then, nothing. He untangled himself from her, picked apart all the frayed threads that had tied them together, and left their life behind. Not that it really matters – but also, it does – this friend of mine is an incredibly special person. She’s smart and funny and sparkly with life, so full of it that it fizzes right out of her. What’s that saying? To know her is to love her.

“What am I going to do?” she asked me, looking just over my shoulder. The sky was grey and overcast, but she was wearing her sunglasses. “What if I never meet someone again? What if I’m on my own forever?”

I know this question. It’s the question that rattles through me sometimes in the witching hours of life. I find myself drenched with the anxieties of this question when I least expect it. It will be a normal day and then this question will appear in my head, and the normal day is gone.

I’ve thought about this question a lot over the years. How could I not? If you’re single, it’s the kind of thing that’s always sitting in some corner of your mind. I’ve wondered if I would ever meet somebody again and get to know the stuff of them as they got to know mine. If somewhere on my horizon there was handing over each section of the newspaper after I was finished reading it on a Sunday morning; if there were fights about the Amazon Prime membership and who was going to buy toilet paper and whether or not someone’s colleague was a sexist idiot; if there was knowing all the idiosyncrasies of someone else as well as I know my own.

Of course I have wondered about all of that. And if I’ve learnt anything over my years of being single it is this: I want that. I hope that one day I will have it. I truly believe that I will. In those lowest, iciest points of life I remind myself how much love I have in me and how many people there are in the world who love and will love me for it.

But if there’s another thing that I’ve learnt over my years of being single it is that no matter what else happens: I am enough.

This is what I told my friend that morning. You are enough. Every part of of you is enough. Your story is enough, you are its beginning, middle and end. Your wonderful, squishy, lived-in life is enough. All your shit is enough. You, on your own, are complete, even as you are growing and changing and transforming, still, you are whole. You are everything that you need. You are enough.

A few months ago I interviewed a dating guru for a story and despite having no intention of doing so I immediately bought whatever it was that he was selling. I went in clear-headed and left muddled, he was that charming and that present.

When I spoke to him, he talked with some urgency about how women are always trying to get more out of someone who for whatever reason doesn’t want to give them more. The answer, he said, was not to keep squeezing something that would not be squeezed. We have no control over what someone gives us. What we do have control over is ourselves.

It’s a nice line. (He should print it on tee-shirts.) But there’s something in it, I think. There is so much love out there that is not mine to manipulate. But this life of mine is mine, and it is everything. It is strange and full and funny and sad, it is all my own. Its mornings and its late nights, its bookshelves, its brunches, its screens, its receipts, its dishes, its alarms, its scrapes, its fevers, its nightmares, its dreams… It’s all mine and – even on its own – it’s all enough.

Happy Singles Day, everybody. You are enough.

Read more stories like this, including How I learned to enjoy being single plus, How to detox from dating.