Tag Archives: dating advice
First Date Tips From A Dating Coach Who Knows All The Tricks
Ah, first dates. Some people look forward to them with excitement all day long, while others would rather wait in line at the DMV for the rest of their lives. But first dates are a fairly unavoidable part of dating, so if the idea of meeting a stranger for a date, making chit-chat, and figuring out if you two are compatible gives you election night-level anxiety, Elite Daily has some first date tips to help you out.
I spoke to dating coach Evan Marc Katz about first dates and, to be honest, he kind of blew my mind. There are the obvious things to do on a first date like smile, make eye contact, and ask questions, but the most important thing Katz says people should do on a first date is to let go of their agenda.
“If you go into the date with an agenda — I’m going to figure out what this guy’s deal is, I’m going to figure out what’s wrong with him, I’m not going to get hurt, I’m not going to waste my time like I did with the last guy — then they’re not going to have any fun and they’re not going to want to see you again.” While there’s nothing wrong with dating with the intent to find a relationship, Katz suggests staying present in the moment and letting the date unfold naturally.
“It’s really, really common, but don’t try to figure out if he’s your husband on your first date,” Katz says. “You’re not there to ask him pointed questions to try to figure out if he wants kids, how he votes, whether he’s financially stable, or whether he’s looking for a serious relationship or not.” Of course, you’ll want to know these things if you get into a relationship later on with your date, but the first date isn’t about that stuff. Katz explains, “It’s like trying to read the last page of the book before you turn the first page.”
Katz believes that most people on a first date want simple things — to be liked, appreciated, and to feel good. “Initially, someone will want to go on a date with you based on how they feel in your presence.” There are simple ways to make someone feel appreciated and good about themselves. Katz says, “Look them in the eye, touch them on the hand, ask them questions. Metaphorically, if you go into a date with your arms crossed like, ‘Show me what you got,’ it will make the other person defensive.”
A lot of stress and anxiety surrounding first dates simply comes from wondering whether or not the other person likes you, and likes you enough to go on a second date with you. Will they ask you out again, or will they ghost out, never to be heard from again? Katz has a smart fix for this, “The best thing you could do on a first date is not to spend half a second worrying if you’re going to get a second date,” he says. “Assume the answer is yes. Assume that the person sitting across from you likes you, is attracted to you, and wants to date you.” Assuming all these things will help you relax, give you confidence, and let you be yourself.
After the date, Katz suggests asking yourself three questions, “Did you have enough fun, were you comfortable enough, and were you attracted enough to go on a second date? You don’t have to figure out the whole future.” Relieving yourself of the pressure of sorting out the rest of your life will help you determine if you did feel a connection with your date and if you want to feel it again.
So the next time you walk into a first date, consider setting your agenda to the side and focusing on your date, finding out who they are in a non-interrogative way, and making them feel appreciated. It’s just a first date, it’s not forever, but if you follow Katz’ advice, it just might lead to something more.
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Jada Pinkett Smith: Don't Date a Person Going Through a Divorce Like I Did
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Speaking from experience, Jada Pinkett Smith does not advise dating anybody in a midst of a divorce.
The 47-year-old actress and 50-year-old actor Will Smith wed more than 20 years ago. In a recent episode of her new Facebook Watch talk show Red Table Talk, Jada emphasized that she and Will “did not have an affair while he was married.” However, he was still legally married; Will said on the program that he asked Jada out moments after deciding to grant his first wife Sheree Zampino Fletcher‘s request for a divorce in 1995. It was finalized months later.
In an interview with E! News, Jada said she does not give dating advice to her and the actor’s children, Jaden Smith and Willow Smith, but rather shares her own experiences with them.
“They have to find their way in regards to that, because I’m gonna tell you, you gotta be real careful with that because if anybody was in their right mind, they would’ve told me not to date Will when I did,” she said. “He was in the middle of a divorce! Fresh! I would not suggest anybody do that.”
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“But you don’t know what your fate is,” she continued. “Looking back, that was not a smart move. But it worked out how it was supposed to.”
Sheree and Jada discussed the issue on the premiere of Red Table Talk in May.
“Because I did not understand marriage, I didn’t understand divorce,” Jada told her. “I will say that I probably should have fell back.”
“Ya think?” Sheree replied, then asked, “Oh, you thought it was done?”
“See, that’s where I was wrong,” Jada said. “Now, being a married woman and if Will and I were to get divorced now, my God. So when I think back about where I was, some of my insensitivity, some of my inconsideration just in regards to you guys unwinding a marriage.”
She and Will wed in 1997, two years after he and Sheree finalized their divorce, while Jada was pregnant with Jaden.
Jada also talked to E! News about her close relationship with her kids.
“I know when I have to put those boundaries down as ‘Mommy,'” she said. “My kids respect me and I respect them. It’s not really difficult to transition from the parenting role into friendship role.”
“When you called Jaden yesterday—I was listening to the conversation—they talked probably for an hour,” said Jada’s mom Adrienne Banfield-Jones, who also appears on her Facebook Watch show. “She’s like that with all her kids. It’s amazing.”
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Alyssa Edwards' Quote About Drag & Dating Is Inspiration Fit For A Queen
Three of my favorite things in the world are my cat, equality, and RuPaul’s Drag Race, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to chat with the Alyssa Edwards (also known as Justin Johnson) about all things dating, drag, and drama. Drag queens are so fascinating to me — they’re a mercurial blend of confidence, beauty and humor, so naturally I wanted to mine Edwards’ brain for advice about dating. And she delivered! I particularly love this Alyssa Edwards’ quote about drag and dating: “I don’t think finding success in the drag world helped [my dating life], I think I just had to get to a place where I felt comfortable with the man in the mirror,” she tells Elite Daily. “I knew I had to have a healthy, happy balance in life.”
While becoming a famous drag queen might not have directly translated to success in dating, drag itself has greatly affected Edwards. “Drag empowered me so much because every insecurity, every doubt went away when I put that wig on. It’s much like the story of The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy, you know, it took the man behind the curtain to tell her that she always had the power, and that’s kind of like what drag did for me.” With the confidence drag gave Edwards, she felt grounded in herself and in her life, which helped create the work/life balance she was striving for.
Edwards is now in a loving relationship with her boyfriend, dance instructor Manny Silveyra, but her dating life wasn’t always a priority. She says, “I was just so focused on my career and I was like, ‘I don’t have time to date.'” While many of us try to find a balance between work and relationships, Edwards says, “I think it sounds cliché, but I think there was a time where I just didn’t see this for myself. I just didn’t. Then Cupid shot me with this arrow in the heart! He’s definitely the missing puzzle piece.” (Swoon!)
So how did a career-oriented dancing queen decide to settle down into a relationship? “I knew [on] date one that I would want to pursue something with Manny, I knew. We just started talking about dance, our students, we started talking about just the energy we created and it just worked. It was like boom, boom, boom, and here we are one year later.” Edwards acknowledges that an instant connection doesn’t always happen and confesses, “I’m a very shy person and socially awkward. But just because there’s not the instant ‘I do’ feeling, don’t give up on something so quickly.” Edwards believes shared interests and passion are key to her relationship’s solid foundation. “Our lives are so aligned, we both love working with children, there’s so much depth, so I’m very lucky that I have really this, like, multi-layered, faceted life that’s all of full of love.” (Again — swoon!)
Edwards has one main piece of dating advice and that is to be yourself. “Be your authentic, genuine self. No filters. Be honest, transparent, be considerate of someone’s feelings, like those old life lessons- treat that someone the way you want to be treated. If you’re feeling a certain way, share that feeling.” That sort of honesty and openness will let you know if you connect with someone. She’s also very drawn to people on dates who are kind, who look you in the eyes, who are upfront and honest.
Camp TAZO
Edwards teaches full time at her studio, Beyond Belief Dance, stars in Netflix’s docu-series Dancing Queen which was released earlier this month, and will also be appearing as a counselor for Camp TAZO, which is a quarterly, first-of-its-kind immersive camp experience in Austin, Texas, for adults who want to break out of their routines, embrace the unexpected, and try something new. As a performer and a self-professed shy person, Edwards understands the importance of trying new things. “Most people want to get out of their comfort zones, they just don’t know how. Maybe that’s by exploring, trying something that’s not a part of their normal dating activities or lives. Sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone to discover and rediscover something about yourself.”
Clearly, we can all learn something from Edwards’ brave and honest approach to dating and relationships and massive work-ethic. Not only does Edwards inspire me and countless other fans to be bold, she also inspires her students and future campers to be their authentic selves, try new things, and, last but not least, look gorgeous while doing so.
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Rachel Riley Twitter: Countdown star dishes out bizarre bedroom advice
Countdown host Rachel Riley, 32, took part in Channel 4’s Celebrity Call Centre earlier this week, where she acted as an agony aunt and answered questions about relationships.
One of Rachel’s calls was from a female caller who asked how she could tell her boyfriend about her sexual history.
After the show, Rachel, who is in a relationship with Strictly Come Dancing star Pasha Kovalev, 38, responded to further questions from viewers.
A Twitter user claiming to be the female who called her on the show tweeted Rachel saying: “Sat next to my bf now and he’s like ‘well what’s the number’ I’m like Rachel told me not to say.”(sic)
Rachel responded with her thoughts, suggesting the Twitter user could tell her boyfriend the answer in a form of maths.
In view of her 587,000 followers, she replied: “Or you could tell him in the form of a sum, if he really wants to know, make him work for it #CelebrityCallCentre.”
During the phone call, Rachel also said she would rather someone had slept with fewer people rather than more.
She told the caller: “I’d be happier if it was three and not loads more, I don’t think you’ve got anything to gain really.”
Speaking on the show to camera, Rachel revealed she doesn’t think people need to let their partners know about their previous sexual partners.
She said: “There is no way I would ever reveal the number of partners I’ve had, it’s just private.
“Why would people want to share that?”
Another Twitter user praised Rachel for her advice to a caller who was having relationship doubts.
A social media user wrote: “I very much support the @RachelRileyRR approach to advice: DUMP HIM #celebritycallcentre.”
Sharing the tweet, the maths whizz penned: “Yep! No one should settle for always being second best, surely? #CelebrityCallCentre.”
Meanwhile, Rachel has been fronting Countdown since 2009 when she took over from Carol Vorderman, 57.
Earlier this month, Rachel joked that her co-host Nick Hewer, 74, could ruin her career with his outbursts.
During a discussion on the show about a previous job, she turned to the host and said: “Now I work with you Nick, it’s the most dangerous of them all.”
Laughing, Nick responded: “It’s not dangerous,” to which Rachel replied: “You never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.”
“But it’s not going to kill you is it,” Nick responded.
Rachel replied: “Well you never know, it could kill my career.”
Countdown airs weekdays on Channel 4 at 2:10pm.
