Relationships Talk

Muslim dating ‘guru’ Thanna Alghabban has been called a ‘whore and a hoe’ for giving women relationship advice.

Thanna makes videos for Instagram and YouTube for Muslim women about dating.

She told BBC Minute she’s received messages like “I hope you get gang raped” for posting her videos.

Produced by Lamees Altalebi

With Jennifer Garner’s divorce from Ben Affleck finally behind her, she’s ready to live her life on her own terms.

Three years after the “Peppermint” actress and Affleck, both 46, first announced their split, Garner couldn’t be happier to put it all behind her.

“Jennifer is relieved her divorce is finalized and is really looking forward to closing that chapter of her life,” a source close to the Hollywood staple told Fox News on Wednesday.

“She’ll always be there for Ben and will continue to support him through his ongoing fight in his quest for sobriety.”

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Garner has already moved on from Affleck and is actually testing the waters while focusing on her career and family.

“She’s open to playing the field, but is in no rush to settle down. If there’s someone she’s seeing, it’s merely to maintain a fun, friendship connection and is in no way romantic,” the source assured.

During their separation, Affleck dated “Saturday Night Live” producer Lindsay Shookus and was rumored to have been dating 22-year-old Playboy model Shauna Sexton, a relationship Garner never agreed with.

CASEY AFFLECK CALLS BROTHER BEN AFFLECK ‘BRAVE’ FOR RETURNING TO REHAB

“Jen knows that Ben is going to continue to spend time with a lot of people who are close to him, including women friends,” continued the source.

“She never really liked the idea of him seeing an actual Playboy model though, and voiced it to him many times.”

Nonetheless, Garner remained a huge support branch for Affleck and even staged an intervention for the “Justice League” actor before he checked into a rehabilitation facility in August.

JENNIFER GARNER ‘WON’T GIVE UP’ ON BEN AFFLECK DESPITE TROUBLED STAR’S CHEATING, SUBSTANCE ABUSE

On Wednesday, ET reported Affleck actually heeded the advice of his estranged wife and ended his relationship with Sexton, noting that Ben and those close to him see it as a fresh start.

“As far as his love life goes, [Garner] isn’t concerned about any of that as long as he makes better decisions and it doesn’t interfere with his relationship with their children,” said the source before putting things in a much clearer perspective.

“They are single adults.”

DEAR ABBY,

I am conflicted about boundaries being crossed between my family therapist and me. My 7-year-old son and I have been seeing someone we both bonded with and felt comfortable with. That is, until the therapist and I found each other on an online dating site.

We matched a few months ago. Once I realized it was him, I felt embarrassed and blocked him on the site. He sent me an email within three minutes acknowledging that he knew it was me. He said he thought I was “awesome” and that I look better in person than in my pics. I was so embarrassed I didn’t respond.

A couple of months went by and neither of us brought it up. My son invited him to his birthday party and he did attend. It wasn’t until later that I realized therapists are not supposed to attend social events with patients. We also text often, during late-night hours.

A couple of weeks after my son’s birthday party he tried matching with me again on the dating site. I was surprised and sent him a text asking him what he was doing. He responded by asking me if I was enjoying it, but did not answer my question. I do have a slight crush on him, but I’m not sure what his intentions are. I am aware that it’s unethical.

— UNETHICAL CRUSH

DEAR UNETHICAL,

You are correct that what the therapist has been doing is a breach of professional ethics. There is a reason for it. Patients are extremely vulnerable to manipulation.

When the online flirtation first started, you should have changed therapists. Heaven only knows how many other patients he has done this with. My advice is to draw the line, establish a working relationship with another therapist, and decide whether you want to report him to the association that licensed him to practice. You may have a crush on him, but what he is doing is predatory.

DEAR ABBY,

Common manners are going extinct quicker than the dinosaurs did. I was raised to open doors, stand up for women sitting down at the table, etc. Nowadays opening the door for most women feels like getting slapped in the face. There is no acknowledgment of any kind.

Has our society disintegrated that far? These days if I open the door for someone and she doesn’t acknowledge the courtesy, I say, “Thank you!” loud enough for her to hear and watch the reaction. I’m waiting for someone to slap me one day.

— GOOD MANNERS

DEAR GOOD MANNERS,

I agree that when a courtesy is extended, it should be acknowledged. However, if it isn’t, shouting at someone is rude and makes you appear more like a petulant boor rather than the genteel individual your parents raised you to be.

P.S. When a gentleman opens a door for me — old-fashioned girl that I am — I always thank him. Then I add, “You were raised RIGHT!” which is true, and we go our separate ways with a smile.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Everybody has a problem. What’s yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

There was an article posted back in June on LinkedIn called, “People are ‘ghosting’ at work, and it’s driving companies crazy.” The gist of it was that, since the job market has gotten somewhat better, people are actually accepting jobs and not showing up, or not even answering the call to accept the job! Worse than not answering, though, is outright ignoring multiple messages, some checking in on that person’s well-being if, god forbid, something awful happened. And still no response. It’s not difficult to say, “I got another offer. Thanks for your time.” Why don’t people? Maybe embarrassment has set in, thinking, “Well, if I haven’t replied to any of the previous messages, I certainly can’t start now.” Yes, you can! It’s never too late to provide closure.

The concept of ghosting is not new. It’s simply disappearing —poof —after being in contact with someone, in person or via some other means. It’s usually related to dating, but as we saw on LinkedIn, not always. I contend that using such a cutesy term makes the behavior, which is not cute at all, seem somehow okay. It’s not. I’ve been ghosted. My friends have been ghosted. My clients have been ghosted. It’s never okay.

The reason I’m writing this article today is to extend the ghosting trend even more. As you know, if you read my column regularly, I run a business. The goal of my business is to help people navigate the often-complicated nuances of online dating and dating in general. Most people, when interested in potentially working with me, will schedule a free consultation call on my website. I have language indicating that if you need to cancel this scheduled call, to please do so more than 24 hours in advance of the call since I keep a fairly packed schedule and like to keep things on time. When I make these consultation calls, about one out of 10 people simply don’t answer the phone. Now, I know as well as anyone else that sometimes unforeseen circumstances come up, usually work-related, but even when I follow up to ask if this person would like to reschedule… crickets. I was ghosted.

Now, when I do have these calls, I spend up to 20 minutes of my time getting to know a potential client and explaining how my services work. Many sign up on the spot. Some don’t and ask me to follow up with them. I always do. My personal rule is two emails and a phone call to follow up after a consultation call, all a week or more later. The number of people who ignore these follow-up messages is appalling. While I know I run a business, it’s still my time. Just say, “No, not interested.” I will in no way be offended. No one would.

Whether a job or dating or business connection, the best advice I have is to communicate. Over-communicate if you have to. Rejecting someone, or a company or service, is no big deal. (Trust me —I’m plenty busy.) But, looking at your messages and actively deciding not to reply is just plain rude and cowardly. Try to remember that there’s another person —a real person —at the other end.

How do we combat this? Obviously in business, I’m not going to say something negative to someone who abuses my time, but in dating, you can. You can ask, “Are you ghosting me?” or say, as I recommend to many clients, “I’m disappointed that I didn’t hear back from you, even simply to provide closure. All the best.” This says to the ghoster, “My time is valuable, and I deserve to be treated better.” Sometimes when you don’t get closure from someone else, you have to get it for yourself, in the form of this type of message. Use the language that suits you best, but let’s combat ghosting, one unanswered text and call at a time.

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(Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps others navigate the often intimidating world of online dating. Want to connect with Erika? Join her newsletter, eepurl.com/dpHcH for updates and tips.)

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(c)2018 Erika Ettin

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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PHOTO of Erika Ettin is available from the Columnist Mugs section of www.tribunenewsservice.com.