Relationships Talk

Ask the pros! Dancing With the Stars’ Val Chmerkovskiy and Jenna Johnson, who got engaged in June, opened up exclusively to Us Weekly about the latest couple to come from the ABC dancing competition: Alan Bersten and Alexis Ren!

“There’s something about the show, man,” Johnson, 24. “You’re so hands on. … Dance is very physical. You’re spending so much time with that one person and I think it’s inevitable when there are two beautiful, attractive people who are talented. I’m happy for them. I’m happy for Alan, he’s like my little brother. I’ll be watching out for him.”

Jenna Johnson and Val Chmerkovskiy.

“Advice?” she continued. “Do your own thing. Just, like, stay in your own bubble.”

Chmerkovskiy, 32, then joked, “Alan, do less of your own thing. Do more of someone else’s thing.”

Johnson then clarified she was referring to not basing your relationship “on anyone else’s relationship.”

After Ren, nearly 22, confessed she was developing feelings for Bersten, 24, during an October episode of DWTS, a source confirmed to Us that the social media influencer “adores” the So You Think You Can Dance alum. “Alexis’ feelings for Alan are real!” the source noted. “He thinks she’s super sweet and beautiful.”

Bersten told Us earlier this month that the pair, who finished in fourth place during the Monday, November 19, finale, are taking things “day by day.”

Ren added: “People are going to hate either way, so I might as well say my truth, say my feelings, and if they take it one way or the other, that’s their perception on the situation, not mine.”

Fellow DWTS season 27 competitor Milo Manhein, meanwhile, played a hand in setting up Bersten and Ren. “Me and Alexis went to at least 10 dinners where the topic of discussion was just Alan, like whether he thinks she’s cute or what’s going to happen with that,” he told Us exclusively on Tuesday, November 20. “Alan brought me and Alexis together. I’m thankful for Alan.”

The Dancing With the Stars: A Night to Remember live tour kicks off December 15. Tickets are available now.

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• More young people than ever before are now single, and while for some this is a choice, others are struggling to find love.
• Dating apps are often blamed for the rise of “hook-up culture” and thus the decline of commitment, but this may not be the case.
• According to The Inner Circle founder David Vermeulen the main mistake singletons make is expecting love at first sight and discarding someone after a first date, when in reality we should give people a second chance.

Being single has never had less of a stigma attached to it than it does today.

Looking at the UK, over half of Brits aged 25-44 are now single, and millennials all over the world are choosing to marry later than previous generations.

But despite the fact that many of us are single by choice, plenty of others are trying — and struggling — to find “the one.”

Some people blame millennials’ apparent inability to settle down on dating app culture — after all, when someone “better” might be just a swipe away, why would you commit to just one person?

This is called the “paradox of choice,” which makes us believe the grass is always greener on the other side.

Read more:You might still be single because of something called the ‘paradox of choice’ — here’s what it means

According to a dating expert, there’s one main thing many of us are doing wrong in our quest to find love: writing a potential suitor off after just one date.

Thanks to romantic novels and rom-coms, lots of people expect to be swept off their feet or feel love at first sight on a first date. If they don’t, they don’t bother pursuing things with that person.

But this is largely unrealistic, and expecting there to be fireworks from the start is where many singletons are going wrong.

“That’s only in the movies,” David Vermeulen, founder of elite dating app The Inner Circle, told INSIDER. “Some people are really uncomfortable the first time they see somebody. You have to sell yourself in a way. Some people can do it really well, and some people can’t, but at the same time they’re obviously a nice person.

“You have to look through it and if you believe it could potentially work, I always say you should go for a second date and see how it goes.”

Vermeulen believes you should always give someone a second chance — unless the first date was completely awful.

That doesn’t mean you’ll never feel a sizzling spark upon meeting someone new, though.

“Of course you might feel fireworks if you’re really lucky,” Vermeulen says. “But it’s not always going to happen. You have to be really lucky. That’s how I see it.”

Read more:5 pieces of dating advice that are actually ruining your chances of finding love

He also believes it’s essential to put some thought into planning a first date.

“I tell everybody you have to put some effort into it,” Vermeulen says. “You have to think of somewhere nice instead of a Starbucks. You don’t have to go for a big dinner, but if you know this person works, for example, in Shoreditch [east London], don’t meet up near your place if you live in Notting Hill [west London].”

And when you’re there, be interesting and interested, but don’t judge your date too harshly.

“On a first date show interest in each other,” Vermeulen advises. “It doesn’t always work like in the movies, like love at first sight. Some people are a little bit nervous the first time so give them a second chance.”

True love could be just two dates away.

MODERN dating has let me down. I have an aversion to swiping and never mastered the art of “sliding into someone’s DMs” which, these days, leaves my romantic options limited.

But what if I could wind back the clock and try dating techniques from the days before Tinder? Thankfully for me, a dating article from 1958 recently went viral with some inspiration.

Fabulous writer Lauren has been struggling with modern dating, so she decided to try some 50s tips for finding love

In the piece “129 ways to get a husband”, published in a once-popular women’s magazine, tongue-in-cheek advice ranged from learning how to gut a fish to carrying a hatbox.

So, armed with my new dating guide, I hit the streets on a vintage husband hunt. It couldn’t be any worse than an evening of mindless Tinder trawling… could it?

FACEBOOK

This article loaded with ludicrous 1950s dating tips recently went viral

Stand on a busy street with a lasso

I can only assume that in the 50s the spectacle of a woman with a lasso would attract attention from good-humoured gents.
Unfortunately in London today, people making a fool of themselves in the street is relatively commonplace – and lassoing is actually really hard work.

The swinging action required to get an open loop up in the air then project it over a person requires serious skill.

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Lauren started out trying to lasso passing men… but her rope skills weren’t quite up to scratch

The passers-by in London either assumed I was mental and gave me a wide berth or completely ignored me.

One man stopped to ask what I was doing while cramming down a takeaway lunch but my attempt to lasso him failed and he kindly advised me that he wasn’t the one for me.

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Unfortunately, none of the passing men were all that interested in Lauren’s lasso

Drop a handkerchief

I can unequivocally confirm that – contrary to the magazine’s advice – dropping the handkerchief does not still work.

Supposedly, the idea is that 50s chaps would be keen to aid a damsel, but the main issue these days is that no one carries a hanky and everyone is too busy to notice if you drop one.

Despite being perfectly positioned on a busy street, with a constant stream of men bustling past, not a single gent stopped to collect my fallen handkerchief.

I got a few laughs, one person pointed at it to flag up its descent to the pavement and one other made a half dip movement but didn’t quite make it to the ground to assist me.

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Dropping a hanky by a busy road was more dangerous than anything else

On the whole I was ignored.

At one point my delicate piece of fabric blew into the middle of the road and suddenly the exercise became dangerous.

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Lauren set off armed with a small sheet of cloth and returned empty handed

Bake tasty apple pies

The 50s dating experts reasoned that every man searching for a wife would be looking for a woman who can stir up a culinary storm and cater for their every nutritional need.

Little did they know that it’s 70 years later and the closest we get to baking is watching Mary Berry discuss soggy bottoms.

I didn’t have time to actually make an apple pie, so settled for an apple tart from a local deli – no one needed to know.

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Perhaps offering up a slice of an apple pie would interest the men in the office?

Armed with my shop-bought dessert and a few forks I sauntered over to a cluster of eligible bachelors and offered for them to taste my pie.

My kind offer was met with suspicion rather than gratitude and proposals of marriage.

Mindful of my tips for chatting with eligible bachelors, I threw in a couple of other nuggets to ingratiate myself.

As the magazine suggested, I tried to “point out to them that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men” but fell short when they asked for actual figures.

And conscious of the advice that “men like to think they’re authorities on perfume” I asked for fragrance advice but again, drew a blank.

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Once again, the dating tips from over half a century ago proved to be a bit dated

Have a button box to sew on bachelors’ loose buttons

Still smarting from the failure of my apple pie, I brushed myself off and headed to try and snag a different single man in the office.

Back in the 50s, being handy with a needle and thread would be a vital skill for any wife – so the advice encouraged making it known you had a needle and thread close at hand.

Tinder bios focus more on how quickly people can take buttons off than reattach them – but with a sense of desperation starting to sink in, I marched over and enquired whether any men needed shirt repairs, armed with a button box and sewing kit.

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Offering to do some sewing for the fellas at work didn’t quite do the trick either

Again, the response was more distrust than romance.

Confused about the new service I was providing to men in the office, my prospective husband rejected my offer of minor tailoring.

When I explained that I wouldn’t be offering the same to the married men as they “already had women to do their sewing”, I was aggressively challenged by some women who had overheard the conversation.

I was forced to make a hasty retreat.

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Lauren’s offer to help fix any errant buttons wasn’t appreciated

Stand in the corner and cry softly

It was time to bring out the big guns – and I’d saved the best pulling technique until last.

In the 50s it was reasoned that chivalrous men the world over would climb over tables to comfort a woman in tears, and I hoped my damsel in distress act would still turn some heads.

Unfortunately these days bars are often packed with mascara-stained cheeks on a night out and often the blokes wisely opt to just leave well alone.

Even so, I found a suitable corner in a semi-busy bar and ordered a glass of water – I would need to hydrate if I was going to generate actual tears.

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When all else failed, Lauren set off to her local and had a good cry – hoping some man would take sympathy

Mustering all of my GCSE drama skills, I started to gently sob.

I took the opportunity to glance around as I wiped my eyes and realised that not a single person cared.

I upped my game and let out lady-like wails; perhaps they just hadn’t spotted me?

Still nothing – not even a sympathetic smile.

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Crying alone in the corner of a room isn’t all it’s made out to be

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Even Lauren’s best efforts weren’t enough to elicit a sympathetic smile… let alone any genuine interest

All in all, my attempts at picking up a partner 1950s style were an epic failure.

Displaying my “wifely” talents didn’t impress the men in the office and I couldn’t get any attention with my hanky and tears.

Even trying to physically entrap a fella ended in disaster. But at least “the time I tried to lasso a bloke” will be a good conversation starter on my Hinge profile.