Tag Archives: dating advice
4 Of The Best Tips For Interviewing Success (That Double As Great Dating Advice)
Keep these tips in your back pocket.
You might not think finding love and looking for a job have a lot in common, but some of the most effective interview tips double as great dating advice.
The behaviors, choices, and communication are surprisingly similar and, more importantly, mostly in your hands. Instead of trying to convince someone to hire or like you, there are better ways to create a good match.
Though using interview tips for dating may sound sterile, they are simply ways to see and hear another person more clearly, as well to help others appreciate you more fully.
To do that effectively, your job is to be authentic rather than “sell” yourself. This way, an organization will choose to hire you or the guy will become interested in you for your true self ─ a long-term benefit to ensure accurate expectations and strengthen your own confidence.
So whether you want to land the job or meet a romantic partner, here are 4 interview tips that also make sound dating advice.
1. Expose your best self.
Open up about yourself using good judgment. That means answering questions in frank, focused ways, as well as asking some that will help you figure out if the connection with your potential employer or date is a good match.
Start your inquiry with “what” or “how.” Or, for something a little risky, try “I wonder…”
In a work interview, if you haven’t already determined this, ask the question, “What do you think are the most important skills for this work?”
The response will help you focus your answers to the interviewer’s questions and tell short stories of your past experience that showcase these skills. This will also help you prepare for behavioral interviewing that poses questions about how you handled particular situations.
On a first date, you can step out a bit more with, “I wonder what you value in another person.”
Asking this question exposes values, which may save you time figuring out if you’re compatible and like to do or know the same things. In contrast, typical explorations about similar likes and activities don’t show what’s under that surface or what’s truly important about the other person.
Demonstrating your confidence in communication and self-presentation will show you’re self-assured. That demonstrates a powerful characteristic potential work. It also contributes to your sex appeal for dating.
Since a big chunk of the message you send comes non-verbally, pay attention to your tone of voice, direct (yet warm) eye contact that avoids boring a hole into someone with an unremitting gaze and relaxed, calm body language. Use that awareness to read others accurately as well.
Smiling when appropriate will not only release your own endorphins and stress, but it also adds a pleasant lilt to your voice. (Give it a try!) What you say and how you say it adds to your charm, as well as credibility. But don’t force a smile if it isn’t genuine because people will notice that.
2. Tune into your emotions.
Despite what may sometimes amount to endless analysis about jobs and dates, emotions can often tell you the bottom line for action. They show what you really want, providing direction and making good choices when it comes to job opportunities and potential matches.
Positive emotions, such as delight and enjoyment, tell you that a good match is possible. Negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, or discomfort are warning signs to consider further, whether you’re interviewing for work or considering a relationship.
If you find yourself making a choice merely because the other person seems to want you, beware as well. It’s in your interest to take the “inter” in interviewing seriously. That emphasizes the importance of mutuality and being together in something.
Test and express your emotions by bringing them up in any situation. You could say, “I feel enthusiastic or engaged by…” Alternatively, register concern by mentioning, “I feel uncomfortable about…” Or, show doubt, “I hesitate about …. because…”
3. Do your homework.
Find out, within reason, as much as possible about the person you are meeting — whether an interviewer or possible date.
For the interviewing situation, also become familiar with the employment context online and through any connections you have and make. The same sources could be used to learn about a possible date.
By the same token, avoid coming to any rigid conclusions about the position or person until you have a chance to test assumptions in person. Otherwise, your prejudices may infiltrate your own self-presentation, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Though first impressions are important, stay open for additional information to avoid lazy labeling that does not do justice to the complexity of others.
4. Connect through empathy.
Putting yourself in another person’s shoes may make you feel somewhat vulnerable — as if you’re possibly losing focus on your own needs. But it’s an investment that helps foster trust in relationships.
(For a superb prescription for building trust and empathy, listen to this 15-minute TED Talk with Frances Frei of the Harvard Business School.)
Whether you’re talking to an interviewer or your date, encourage a deeper connection by paraphrasing or summarizing what they’ve said to confirm your understanding. Use accurate descriptive language about their emotions to show you get how they’re feeling, in addition to what they’re saying.
In an interview, you might mention something positive or interesting about the interviewer or commiserate about the challenges of seeing an endless parade of people who are hungry for jobs (with a rueful smile possibly).
On a date, it’s even more important to start building the trust that’s a foundation for a healthy relationship. If you’re not willing to take that time and risk, why should the other person? And if you see your date has no interest in mutual understanding, that tells you soon enough that it’s time to look into alternatives.
These interview tips — that double as effective dating advice — can help you avoid detours in both aspects of your life.
Before you make your investment in either, though, take a few minutes to define your goal or specifically what you’d like to accomplish. That will help focus your experience and contribute to a better result.
Ruth Schimel, PhD is a career and life management consultant and author of “Choose Courage: Step Into the Life You Want” and related handbooks, who writes widely about personal and professional development. Ruth consults with individual and organizational clients in the Washington DC area or by phone and email, encouraging them to access their own courage for fulfilling their dreams as they prepare for the future of work.
Sonam Ahuja and Jacqueline Fernandez share dating tips
Actors Jacqueline Fernandez and Sonam Kapoor Ahuja says it is important to stay true to one’s personality while dating.
The stars were speaking on the talk show, Feet Up with the Stars, hosted by celebrity stylist Anaita Shroff Adajania and streamed on Voot Originals.
Fernandez also said that she would like Kapoor Ahuja to be her Tinder swiping friend and Kapoor Ahuja nominated Fernandez as somebody who should be on Tinder.
“Be yourself, be comfortable in your skin. If you want to dress up, dress up for yourself not for the other person,” said Kapoor Ahuja in lieu of dating advice.
As for Fernandez, she said people are better off not listening to her dating tips.
But, if she was on Tinder, she would swipe right on guys who had creative and effortless pictures, and that gym and portfolio shots were a no no.
7 Tips For Using Dating Apps At A Small School With A Tiny Dating Pool
That age-old saying “There are always more fish in the sea” is honestly pretty comical when you’re trying to date on a small campus. Sure, there may be plenty of fish in the sea… but what happens when you’re stuck in an inland lake for anywhere from two to four years? Don’t panic. Take a look at the following tips for using dating apps at a small school for some advice. This body of water may be smaller than the ocean, but it can run deeper than you’d expect.
First of all, it’s OK to be frustrated with a smaller dating pool — and you’re not alone in that feeling. For instance, Mo, 21, says, “Small “women’s’ college equals queer drama like you’ve never seen it before. Dating is a hellscape. My advice is to just not.” So, if you’re feeling pretty bleak, you have company. But dating on a small campus, regardless of your sexuality, is definitely possible if you’re really interested in making the most of the dating opportunities available to you. Dating coach Meredith Golden offers some advice specific to small campuses that is sure to make the process, well, less of a hellscape.
1Be conscious of your behavior because you will probably see people again.
Golden’s main tip is “to have manners, as you will see people on campus and you don’t want it to be awkward. You might forget about blowing someone off as you were chatting with 10 other people, but they will most likely remember.” Normally in a bigger city or on a larger campus, you don’t really have to worry about not responding to someone’s message if the feeling isn’t there. This isn’t the case on a small campus.
Even though it takes more effort, being conscious of what you say and do comes in handy when you are way more likely to see people again. Of course you don’t owe anyone your time, but this could help future you in case you’re in a group project with a former dating app match. Golden also explained, “You don’t have to date or even meet everyone, but be kind in the exchanges. And definitely don’t ghost, as you’re going to see these matches around campus.”
2You’re more likely to match with your IRL crush.
Golden says that there’s actually a benefit to using dating apps on a smaller campus: You’re more likely to match with your crush. That’s right. Golden explains that it can be seriously scary to introduce yourself to a crush in person. There are so many factors at play when considering taking that step. Let’s say you have a crush on the person that sits next to you in history class or even worse, all the way across the room. On a smaller campus, the odds are in your favor that you will see them again on an app. When you do see them, you can introduce yourself without the added worries that come with meeting IRL. Chances are they’ll probably remember you.
3When you see someone in person, don’t be afraid to say hi!
One of the biggest fears is that some folks have when it comes to apps is what they would do if they saw a person IRL. That doesn’t often happen in bigger cities, but it is very likely to happen on a small campus.
Golden has really simple advice when it comes to this and that is to just say hello! She says, “You both obviously know who each other are as it’s a very small campus. Take a deep breath, smile, and say hello. You’ll be amazed by how well this will go!” You’ll never know what could happen if you don’t give it a try.
4Try different apps.
Not everyone uses all of the apps out there. If you’re queer and tired of seeing literally all of the same people all of the time, consider downloading apps that specifically serve queer folks, like Her or Zoe. Using different apps is a great way to see different people and you can figure out which one works best for you.
Make sure you don’t out someone by accident, though. If you’re using a queer-centric app or if have any dating app set to seeing multiple genders, remember that just because you see someone on an app does not mean they are publicly out. (For example, if you are a woman and tell your friends that you matched with Sarah on Tinder, everyone will know that Sarah’s interested in women.) It’s important that you respect others’ privacy when it comes to their sexuality, but again, that shouldn’t stop you from saying hi.
5Increase the distance and age ranges to reach more people.
By increasing your distance you can even reach people at campuses near you or people in the town that your college is in. This is honestly a life-saver when it comes to small campus dating. Just because you’re a student at one school doesn’t mean you’re limited to dating your fellow classmates.
6Consider paying for the premium version of your apps.
There’s no shame in paying for apps if it means it enhances your dating experience. Living on a small campus can be difficult and feel claustrophobic at times. This can be especially tricky if you are queer because dating circles can be notoriously small and hard to navigate. Tinder Gold gives you access to Tinder Passport where you can swipe all over the world, which can be helpful if you have an upcoming trip somewhere new or if you’re heading home for the summer. Tinder Gold has a feature called “Likes You” which shows you who has liked your profile, which can be helpful in navigating a smaller dating circle.
7Give it time and don’t pressure yourself.
If the small dating pool is really stressing you out, or you just went through a breakup and don’t want to see your ex’s face glow across your screen, maybe you’re not quite ready to get back out there. And that’s OK! You don’t have to be dating right now if thats stressing you out. Definitely take time for yourself and don’t feel like you have to be doing anything you don’t want to.
If you are on dating apps, though, try not to feel discouraged by the the size of the dating pool. When it comes down to it, dating apps are a tool that can help you meet people. So if you see someone cute on campus, but are too nervous to talk to them in person. You can rest assured that they might have already swiped right on you.
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Celebrity Matchmaker Carmelia Ray Shares Her Insights With Dating Companies to Support Singles on Multiple …
When singles have a bad time on a dating site, it’s easy for them to blame the platform. They tell themselves the dating site is full of phony profiles, or they claim the search and matching features weren’t easy to use. Many will find fault in the membership, the interface, and the online dating system in general — because that’s easier than finding fault in themselves.
In reality, the singles who blame the dating site or app for their bad results miss out on the opportunities afforded by these platforms. They give up rather than learn how to use these tools to their advantage.
Carmelia Ray has earned international acclaim as an online dating expert.
Matchmaker Carmelia Ray understands that a little knowledge and self-awareness can go a long way on a dating platform, and she has made it her mission to inform online daters and prepare them to use the resources at their fingertips.
She told us she hopes to see singles having a better experience while online dating because that will cause a ripple effect that will improve the dating environment as a whole. With so much technology within their reach, Carmelia said there’s no excuse and no reason for singles to feel unable to meet compatible dates.
“Singles don’t have to feel like they’re alone,” she said. “There’s a place for them somewhere. There’s a resource, a dating site, and a lot of options to help them find an instant connection.”
In the last few years, Carmelia Ray has offered her expertise to dating sites and dating companies throughout the world. This long-standing matchmaker has collaborated with many big names in the industry and has made savvy dating advice more accessible to everyday singles so nothing stands between them and a great match.
Whether singles are looking for love with a matchmaker or on a dating site, Carmelia intends to arm them with the knowledge and skill sets they need to be successful.
“I’m a digital dating strategist,” she said. “I want to help educate and show singles they can find love online and offline.”
Empowering Online Daters Through Collaborative Efforts
Carmelia has been in the dating industry for over 26 years, and she has built a solid reputation in that time. She won the prestigious Best Dating Coach Award at iDate in 2018. She has personally interviewed over 65,000 singles and worked with over 8,000 matchmaking clients. Her dating advice has been featured by major publications, including AskMen, Hollywood Reporter, Variety, Cupid’s Pulse, Elite Daily, DatingAdvice, and YourTango.
She has also consulted closely with dating sites and apps of all sizes. She has given pointers to dating startups launching apps in Canada, and she has hosted webinars for Match.com that have reached thousands of singles worldwide.
“I don’t believe in competition in this space. I believe in collaboration.” — Carmelia Ray, a matchmaker in Toronto
WooYou, an experiential dating app in Toronto, has named Carmelia its Chief Dating Adviser, which means she gives them insight into what singles are looking for and how to meet their needs. Her matchmaking expertise translates well to the online dating space because, at the end of the day, the process of pairing up quality singles is essentially the same whether you’re using an algorithm or a matchmaker.
Carmelia said her goal in working with notable influencers in the dating industry is to educate today’s singles about their options and offer them better resources to help them reach their goals.
“I would like to see people getting to their goals faster,” she said. “And I’d love to see more collaboration between dating sites and matchmakers.”
A Fourth Season of “Mom vs Matchmaker” in the Works
Since 2016, Carmelia has starred in an award-winning reality-based television show called “Mom vs Matchmaker.” The popular series is entering its fourth season and currently casting single millennials and their mothers to be featured on the show.
The show’s intriguing premise tests the adage that mother knows best and pits a professional and seasoned matchmaker against a feisty and caring mother. Carmelia competes with her client’s mother to see who can make the best match. It can be quite challenging because the singles who appear on the show are highly selective, but she’s up for the challenge.
Full of good-natured trash talk and overbearing parents, “Mom vs Matchmaker” offers an entertaining competition with a romantic twist. Episodes can be found on the pay TV channel MyxTV.
Singles and their mothers can apply to be on “Mom Versus Matchmaker” by sending an email to [email protected] The casting team are looking for outgoing singles and opinionated parents who can give Carmelia a run for her money.
“We want to see who knows best in the game of matchmaking,” she said. “It’s for anyone who’s been unlucky in love or difficult to match, which is pretty much every single on the planet.”
Her Matchmaking Firm Has a 95% Match-Approval Rate
All in all, Carmelia is responsible for facilitating over 1,000 marriages through her Toronto-based matchmaking business. Her methodical and discrete approach to matchmaking appeals to high-profile singles who want to take the effort and uncertainty out of dating. She has honed her skills as a matchmaker through decades of experience, and today she boasts a 95% match-approval rate.
Carmelia was voted the Best Dating Coach of 2018 at the annual iDate Awards.
That means that the vast majority of her match recommendations lead to a first date. She often hits the nail on the head and has seen many of her clients walk off into the sunset with the right match after she has introduced them.
Carmelia told us collaborating with colleagues in the dating industry has helped her grow her business and gain notoriety as an authority in the dating scene. Now she endeavors to share the wealth and spread her knowledge on as many platforms as possible.
“I’ve been successful because of my ability to adapt and learn and accept the trends of dating,” she said. “I really listen to what my clients want.”
Whether she’s advising singles through webinars, advice articles, or face-to-face consultations, Carmelia’s warmth, wisdom, and wealth of knowledge make a strong impression on daters hoping to meet The One.
Carmelia Wants People to Have Faith in the Industry
Carmelia has become a mover and shaker in the dating industry by listening to singles and working hard to meet their needs. She has instructed, encouraged, and introduced singles throughout her career as a matchmaker, and it’s no wonder that dating companies big and small have come to rely on her knowledgebase and connections.
Although the dating landscape is always changing, Carmelia has managed to keep pace with the latest trends and crack the online dating code for thousands of relationship-minded singles. In the next few years, she said she plans to continue spreading her message of love and empowerment to the next generation of daters.
“There’s a sense of pride in knowing I’ve been able to be in the industry a long time helping people and sharing my insights,” she said. “Finding love is the most important choice in your life. It’s the person you’ll spend a majority of your time with. It impacts your life choices in everything you do.”
