Relationships Talk

Dating advice: we receive it from our friends or close family members and sometimes even the internet.

The latest online words of wisdom come in the form of the “He’s not your man” meme, which has been making its rounds on Twitter since it first appeared on 22 November.

The meme lists all the “red flags” to look out for when you meet a man, before telling you who your man really is – usually in the form of a well-known persona, animal, or even a historical figure.

Don’t get it? Have a look for yourself, and be inspired (and maybe even learn a thing or two) by some of the internet’s best tips on who to stay away from.

For those history nerds.

Ladies, if he:

– is passionate, but kind of aggressive
– keeps losing his job because has been exiled 5 times
– can write 4 Discourses on the Arians, but not text you
– Helped preserve trinitarian orthodoxy in the 4th Century

He is not your man, he is Athanasius of Alexandria

— Derek ‘Advent Means Jesus is Returning’ Rishmawy (@DZRishmawy) November 24, 2018

Ladies, if he:

-only responds if u text in emojis
-doesn’t care about your single wife policy
-refuses to wear anything but fine linens
-is a staunch polytheist
-claims victory at Kadesh when it was a tie

He’s not your man. He’s Egypt’s greatest king from Dyn 19, Ramesses II

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) November 23, 2018

For the animal lovers.

Ladies if he:

-starts eating your food when you leave the room
-can lift 10 times his weight
-calls another woman his queen
-lives in a hill
-has a hard, waterproof exoskeleton made of chitin

He’s not your man.
He’s an ant.

— Ants killed my village (@zotpatrol) November 24, 2018

Ladies, if he:

– ignores text messages
– doesn’t like your tweets
– eats like trash
– regularly goes out all night
– is usually found in wooded areas in North America

He’s not your man. He’s a raccoon.

— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) November 24, 2018

For the movie buffs.

Ladies, if he:

– is amazing at soccer
– is v cute and considerate and funny
– loves Gouda
– puts tampons in his nose

He’s not your man. She’s The Man starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum

— 𝔼𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕚 𝕊𝕒𝕦𝕧𝕒𝕘𝕖𝕒𝕦 (@Electriceleni) November 24, 2018

For the foodies out there. 

Ladies, if he:

-is italian
-is hot and spicy
-ignores your texts
-loses your snap streak
-doesn’t like your tweets
-is delicious and nutritious
-can be made with three simple ingredients

He isn’t your man. He’s a hot and spicy plate of spaghett.

— an pigeon (@imskytrash) November 24, 2018

For those who are good at languages.

ladies, if he…

– threatens you with constant messages
– always wondering where you are
– blames you for not making him happy enough
– judges the way you speak
– makes your undying love into a game for him

He’s not your man, he’s Duo, the duolingo owl

— Alison (@alisonguzzetti) November 24, 2018

And finally, for those who just want a good chuckle (and some truth).

Ladies if he:

-doesn’t answer your texts
-doesn’t snap you back
-drools a lot
-wags his tail

he’s not your man he’s a dog and he’s better than any man you could ever have

— the yam ma’am (@emmafischer_) November 24, 2018

ladies, if he:

– never texts you back
– always interjects with unsolicited advice
– reads your personal documents
– constantly tries to help you format paragraphs
– is a sentient paper clip

he’s not your man. he’s clippy the microsoft word office assistant

— #1 Rachel (@rachel) November 24, 2018

So, if you promised yourself that in the next year you are not going to waste your time making bad decisions in your love life, take heed and maybe even learn some extra trivia.

HT The Daily Dot

More: 8 signs you’re dating a psychopath