Relationships Talk

Naturally, I don’t want to get pregnant. My mom would be devastated. I have a good opportunity to attend college soon, as my grades make this a strong possibility. A baby would severely hinder this goal. If, by chance, I become pregnant, an abortion would be out of the question. My boyfriend and I have discussed various kinds of birth control. I will use “the pill” (I have already visited a doctor), and he will use a condom. I realize that using only the pills or only a condom does not give a couple 100 percent protection. I would like to know the percentage of pregnancy protection if both are used simultaneously?

No lectures please on avoiding premarital sex. Our minds are made up and nothing you say will alter our plans. Nothing.

— Anonymous, South Bend, Indiana

Dear Anonymous: Used properly and together, the pill and the condom offer 99 percent protection from pregnancy. That means for every 100 couples who use this double coverage to avoid pregnancy, one couple will be parents nine months later. Only abstinence will offer you 100 percent protection. Please don’t consider this to be a lecture; it’s just a fact, but a very important one for you to understand and consider.

Dear Dr. Wallace: A boy and I have been best friends for a long time. We are both 15 and go to different schools, but I do see him two or three times a week because we are in the same church youth group and have many mutual friends. In the past several months, I’ve come to realize that I care for him more than just a best friend. I’ve wanted to tell him this because I get the feeling that he also cares for me more than a best friend. I want to ask him to our “Fall Fling,” which is a dance at our school where the girl does asking and paying and the guy gets a free ride! But I’m afraid that if I invite him and he says no, I just might lose his friendship, and I don’t want that to happen. What do you suggest I do? Please hurry with your reply.

— Anxious Annie,

Minneapolis

Dear Anxious Annie: Is it possible that this boy hasn’t asked you for a date because he is afraid that he might lose your friendship if the answer was no? Take the initiative and invite him to the “girl asks boy” school dance. The timing is perfect!

Dear Dr. Wallace: I’m 19 and smoke more than a pack of cigarettes a day. I’m also overweight. I want to quit smoking and lose my excess weight. But I’m afraid that if I try to quit smoking, I’ll gain more weight, and if I try to lose weight, I’ll be so nervous that I’ll smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. I also know it would be very difficult to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time. What do I do?

— Seeking to Improve,

Dear Seeking: I contacted a local chapter of the American Cancer Society and was informed that it would be better to concentrate on stopping your smoking habit first. This will take a lot of willpower. If you need a helping hand, stop by a Cancer Society office and ask for their excellent printed materials, which provide illuminating information about getting rid of a smoking habit. It’s free. You can also speak with others who have successfully overcome a smoking addiction so that you will know what to expect and what actions to take along your journey. Once you kick your smoking habit for good, move on and tackle your next goal. I admire you for both your desire to improve yourself and for reaching out and seeking advice regarding these topics. Keep it up!