Relationships Talk

True love for many people can be a rare thing. It is even rarer to have that love affair continue for 70 years or more.

According to 2016 data from the U.S. Census, there were more than 50 million married people in the nation, 7 percent who had been coupled for 50 years or more. However, only 0.01 percent made it to the platinum level of 70 years of marriage.

The Centers for Disease Control has reported the national average for length of first marriages is 8.2 years. Roughly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, the agency said.

But two Beaver County couples have beat the odds, celebrating their 70th wedding anniversaries last month.

“No marriage is perfect”

Ernie and Norma Demeter of North Sewickley Township met on a blind date.

Norma, now 90, was set up with Ernie, now 90, while she was working at the A&P grocery store by a friend. “I was 18 and still in high school, so I was a little leery, but I went,” Norma said.

At the time, Ernie, who was from Ellwood City, was living and working in Cleveland. After meeting Norma, he took the train to Ellwood on weekends to see her. After dating for two years, they were married in 1948 and Ernie returned to Ellwood City.

“We were a mixed marriage. Ernie was Catholic, so we were married in the sacristy of the old Blessed Virgin Mary Church with just our parents, the best man and maid-of-honor,” Norma said.

After the wedding the family and wedding party had dinner at Margaret’s Tea Room, currently the large gray house behind Alborn’s Tires. The reception was at the Franklin Township Fire Department Hall.

Ernie said they made a deal when they got married. “I told her, ‘I’ll handle the first 50 years and you can handle the rest.'”

“I didn’t work because Ernie was one of those guys who didn’t want his wife working,” Norma said.

Ernie said back then work was good and he had no problem getting a job. At one point Ernie had three jobs. His regular job was at Aetna Standard. He also drove school bus, and after dinner he would go to Ryman Engineering and work until 9 p.m. He retired from Aetna Standard in 1985.

The couple celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary on Oct. 2 with a party for family and friends hosted by their children and spouses, Dan and Molly Demeter and Marty and Susan Demeter Picciotti. They also have two grandchildren and two great- grandchildren.

When they came home one day they found a large white chrysanthemum from a friend. The friend explained that the proper gift for a 70th wedding anniversary is platinum, but couldn’t afford platinum so she got them white flowers.

The Demeters kept the love going by sharing as many activities as they could. The couple remains active and regularly attend exercise classes. For yard work, Ernie drives the riding mower and Norma says she enjoys using the push mower. She also tends a small garden.
Until recently they went camping and enjoyed bus tours.

“We have been blessed. God has been good to us. We don’t have any complaints,” Norma said.

Norma’s advice for a long marriage is “No marriage is perfect. There are ups and downs. It is a 50/50 give-and-take proposition.

“If you want it, you have to work at it, and when you have differences you have to compromise,” she said.

Marriage needs tolerance and acceptance

Norman L. and Rose Marie Wilson Giancola celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary with a party on Oct. 6 at the National Packard Museum in Warren, Ohio. It was the perfect location to mark the occasion because Norman bought a 1937 Packard to be able to drive Rose Marie on dates.

“I got the car from a man, who had taken it to a garage to be repaired. The bill came to $200, and he didn’t have the money so he sold it to me,” Norman said.

A picture taken in 1948 in Texas of Rose Marie sitting on the Packard is now part of the National Packard Museum’s display. At 87, Rose Marie quipped that she was old enough to be in a museum.

Rose Marie was born and raised in Texas, and the couple met while Norman was in the Air Force stationed in the state. A church organized dances for the service men with young women from the area and they met at a dance.

The couple agrees that they liked each other “a little bit.” The little bit grew and they were married on Oct. 2, 1948, in San Antonio, Texas.

When Norman was discharged, the newly married couple drove from Texas to Ellwood City in the Packard, and the only problem was one flat tire. For Texas native Rose Marie, it took a few years to get used to the Pennsylvania winters.

Norman attended Geneva College on the GI Bill, and they recalled he received $120 a month.

“I learned how important college was and I wanted all my children to go to college, and they are all college graduates,” Norman said.

Norman worked for the government as a bank examiner and traveled all over the country. One job took him from Florida to Texas and California and back home, and he was able to take Rose Marie with him. The Giancolas have a motor home and enjoyed many trips while members of a motor home club in Ohio and other times on their own.

Norman, 89, continues to work part-time for Clem’s Trailer Sales in Franklin Township, which was owned by his brother who has since died.

Rose Marie always enjoyed sheep and had her own little flock for about 10 years, and now she collects miniatures of sheep.
She made a quilt for each one of her children.

“The best part about being married for 70 years is the children,” Rose Marie said.

The North Sewickley couple’s children are Agnes Campanale of Youngstown; Deborah Giancola of Ross Township; Darlene Kotuby of New Wilmington; Patrice Giancola of Ross Township; Norman Giancola Jr. of Watkinsville, Ga.; and Anita Lutz of Neshannock Township. The couple’s youngest child, Melissa Giancola, died in 2004. They have 14 grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.

It took the family a year to plan, organize and implement the party. Photos displayed at the celebration featured places and events from the couple’s courtship, including Rose Marie sitting on the Packard.

On their way to the surprise party in a limousine, Rose Marie kept asking why they were driving around so much and Norman was saying he was hungry. When they arrived at the museum, the 36 guests were wearing 1940s-style clothing and a DJ was playing music of the era. Rose Marie was wearing a replica of the corsage and dress she wore on her wedding day that was made by granddaughter Emily Campanale, and Norman was wearing a hand-painted tie by daughter Deborah, which matched the one he wore on his wedding day.

The day after the party the couple renewed their wedding vows at Holy Redeemer Roman Catholic Church, where they are members and Norman serves on the finance council. Rose Marie takes care of the altar linens.

Norman’s advice for a long marriage is to accept and tolerate each other. “The best part of being married for 70 years, you finally get to know your spouse,” he said

“It is important to have commitment. Be dedicated to your spouse and your vows. If you get upset, go for a walk,” Rose Marie said.