Relationships Talk

Oliver, a 32-year-old software engineer, has spent roughly $200 on Relationship Hero, with coaching sessions that have lasted between three and 46 minutes. (He requested his last name be withheld, because he worried women might have an “uncharitable” opinion of a man who was paying a coach to analyze their conversations and texts. “They might think, ‘What a loser,’” he said.)

Last fall, Oliver contacted Relationship Hero after an especially bad Tinder date. He told his coach that the woman had seemed normal in her texts, but in person she turned out to be obsessed with status. He asked how to avoid meeting women like this in the future, and if he did end up on another bad date, how to leave early without seeming rude.

“Oh boy. lol,” the coach wrote. “so would you say you are often drawn to women by their looks first? Because you will have to dive a bit deeper … you know what Im sarying?”

At the end of the chat, the coach suggested that Oliver write down his expectations before his next date and then compare them with his postdate notes. “Good advice but also thanks for listening,” Oliver wrote. The coach signed off with a smiley face.

Oliver doesn’t consider his coach’s typos or colloquialisms unprofessional. “It’s just a conversation,” he said. “Not a formal document.” He found the coach clear and helpful. “You just want someone to hear you,” he said. “It’s like a two-minute therapy session.”

Not a Therapy Substitute

Relationship Hero, which has 20 coaches and has raised $620,000 in funding, emphasizes it provides “tactical relationship advice,” not therapy. “We won’t tell you to search your emotions, but give you advice that we think is most proven to get results in the situation,” Mr. Shapira said. Though some coaches are psychologists, the company’s co-founder Lior Gotesman, who is also a lead coach, says he often rejects candidates with graduate degrees, “because they’re not as much in tune with their intuition.”

But neither intuition nor expertise can solve every problem. Hunt Ethridge, another lead coach, says clients frequently want help winning back their exes. “Should that not work out, we’ll help set you up for the next thing,” he said. “We can’t do magic.”