Relationships Talk

Would you get a friend a gift if you weren’t invited to their celebration?

A 26-year-old woman debated this when her pal excluded her from her wedding guest list.

Confused about how to respond, the scorned mate took to Reddit to ask for advice.

While some said you should still get a present as a kind gesture, others said it would be best to avoid gifting.

The Redditor wrote: “An old friend of my is getting married in about a month and a half.

“I’m not entirely familiar with wedding invite protocol, but I assume an invitation would have been sent at this point so I’m operating under the assumption I’m not invited.

“I took it a bit personally at first, we were friends all throughout childhood and high school and all our other high school friends seem to be invited.

“However, I realised that in more recent years I haven’t been the most accessible friend.”

Even though she didn’t receive an invite, the woman revealed she was planning on getting the bride a present.

She added: “I do care about my friend and want to wish her and her soon-to-be husband well, so I was thinking of getting them a gift…

“I don’t know if that would be inappropriate or a faux pas, and I’m sure it would come across even worse if there’s a personal reason as to why I wasn’t invited.

“So Reddit, what is the best course of action?

“Is it best to just let the wedding come and go without comment or should I try to look into things a bit more to see if my gift-giving would be alright?”

Following the woman’s plea for advice, many commenters chipped in with their opinions.

Some said that purchasing a present would be a thoughtful gesture.

A Reddit user remarked: “Get the gift. You are a good friend if you do and it would mean a lot to her that other people who didn’t even go to the wedding still wish them well.”

Another said: “I say get them a gift! What is she going to do, start a fight over it?

“It doesn’t sound like there’s any reason for her to be mad at you and most importantly, you’re not mad at her.

“It will be nice and heart warming for her to see that even though you two haven’t spoken in a while, you still thought of her.”

Others warned the Redditor that giving a present could backfire unless she was cautious.

A responder warned: “I would suggest sending a gift after the wedding to avoid the possibility of her construing it as a bid for an invitation or feeling guilty about not inviting you.”

Another commented: “I wouldn’t get a gift for an event to which I didn’t get an invite.

“You could send an email or other message saying you heard she’s getting married, that you’re exited and happy for her, and that you hope she’ll have a great day and marriage.”

A third added: “I would send a card – but probably not a gift.

“And I’d throw a note in that you’d love to get lunch or coffee sometime after the wedding when all things wedding/honeymoon have settled to catch up.”