Relationships Talk

It’s been about a year since John Cena and Nikki Bella broke up but that doesn’t mean they don’t still play a major role in one another’s lives.

In an interview with PEOPLE, Bella revealed that she still calls Cena after every single date she goes on.

“I let him know everything,” she said. “He’s known every date I’ve been on. I have so much respect for him and this breakup wasn’t bad, it didn’t end bad, we didn’t do bad things to each other. He’s still close with my family”.

READ MORE: 8 Bad Habits That Could Really Lead To Divorce

Bella continued: “Anything I knew was coming out, anything I’ve done, I’ve let him know because I just don’t want him to ever be hurt by it or shocked by it. And I know that’s something I don’t have to do but that’s just who I am.”

If this set-up seems a little, well, odd to you, you’re not alone. A quick survey around the 10 daily office revealed that 100 percent of those quizzed would never take advice from their ex about their current partner.

“LOL, absolutely not,” was the response from news producer Alex Bruce-Smith. Her sentiment was echoed by 10 daily’s entertainment editor, Stephanie Anderson, who added: “If the advice is like, ‘I want to tell someone I love them and want them back on Monday and then f**k someone else on Tuesday then like, absolutely I would seek advice”.

READ MORE: How Soon Is Too Soon To Move On After A Breakup?

Is It Healthy?

According to clinical psychologist Amanda Gordon, seeking advice from your ex about your current partners isn’t really such a wise thing to do.

“Look, there are a lot of people who remain friends with their exes, but if you’re using your ex as a sounding board then you’re not living a separate and independent life,” she told 10 daily.

Gordon added that by keeping the attachment going both parties are making it harder on themselves to make a new attachment.

READ MORE: Scientists Say Open Relationships Are Just As Good As Monogamy

What About Sabotage?

That’s the other thing Gordon warns could happen if you keep leaning on your ex for advice — they could be either consciously or unconsciously trying to sabotage your new relationship.

Gordon warns that sometimes it’s not the other person who’s trying to do the sabotaging … sometimes we’re the ones who are behind it without even realising it.

“Sometimes you might keep going to someone for advice because you want them to talk you out of your new relationship,” she said.

“You might be hoping they will tell you that this person is no good for you and that they want you back.”

What Should We Do Instead?

Gordon recommends that we “have it out” with our ex in a frank conversation.

“Talk about what your relationship is and what you want it to be,” she said. “Then it’s time to let each other grow because if you keep going to them for relationship advice you’re not going to grow as a person.”

Feature Image: Getty